First date nightmares tell me yours..

[Oakleaf40]

So first date after talking to this guy for a while...

I absolutely hated it.. He is such a nice guy but all he did was talk about his Ex... and his food manners were shocking. Talking with his mouth open, using his hands to move food yuck!! rude to the waiter... was such a shame .. Tell me yours..

Exchanged numbers with a guy I’d met in a bar at the weekend. Sent a few texts in the week, but not arranged anything yet.
He told me he’d crashed his car as he was drunk.
Never did arrange that date.

@DillonPanthersTexas

GreyTS

I just don't see how in this day and age if you are a financially independent woman you would expect the man on an internet date to pick up the tab. Sure, if some guy crossed the room in a bar and randomly asked you out the dynamics would be slightly different. If you are OLD then it is entirely possible to go on several quick successive dates with different people, it is a bit unfair to expect the guy to pick up the tab each time. It has been done to death on here but it is quite frankly embarrassing when people start using some of the above stated excuses or the cost of getting ready for a date as an excuse to not even pay for a drink.

I agree with this.

To be honest I never had a single good experience with a man who expected to pay for everything. I found they expected me to behave as a "woman should" whereas the men I dated (up to and including DH) who had more modern values and expectations appreciated that I am an independent woman (lol) who can 1. Pay her own way and 2. Will not now, nor at any point in my life, be picking up any man's wet towels or dirty socks left all over the floor.

@Sonaftersonafterson

Awkward 2 min sex with a man who had been boasting about his sexual prowess for a while. Also literally the smallest smallest penis i have ever seen in my life. I was so shocked I didn't know what to do with it.

He is still on dating sites, boasting and bragging. So weird.

Sounds like he'll always catch the gullible eh 😉👍

Last week actually. First date with a guy from Tinder. Told me how he was casually sleeping with two sisters, and neither of them knew about the other. His drug problem. His criminal past (stealing a significant sum of counterfeit money from a drug dealer and then money laundering it). Insurance fraud. Encouraging his DD8 & 10 to shoplift Roblox gift cards and sweets from Tesco (and then being annoyed when they weren't activated and he had to pay to make them work. Then he was annoyed I didn't want to see him again and said I was boring

Talked about her ex husband explained that she had a 2 year affair with a work colleague and a shorter one with her vet. Should've run for the hills then.

The guy who was obsessed with his ex,which I didn’t know until I went on the date
He spent the whole time checking his phone as he had put a tracker in her car and was monitoring her
Turns out she’d left him and gone into a refuge-he managed to track her down and she knew it (I think she’d told him) and they where still shagging each other-I was meant to date him to make her jealous
All I got was ‘ex wife this,ex wife that’ the whole evening
I left and a week later he wanted me to go on another date-to follow mrs ex around the area
I refused and he threatened me with the police-for what I’m not clear

@DillonPanthersTexas Honestly mate, put your hand in your pocket once in a while, you sound really stingy!

And @Somuddled

The waiter looked at me and said "would you like me to take this?"

I'd love to report that I snapped "No I bloody well wouldn't", took my plate back and ostentatiously finished it. Sadly I was so thunderstruck by his rudeness that I just went "Ummmm, yes, thanks."

Needless to say there was no second date!

@Georgyporky

A mutual friend introduced us, & I had a very pleasant evening. Went back to his for a coffee. Don't remember it, but I was raped - obviously drugged. He denied it when I regained consciousness , but wet smelly knickers were a bit of a giveaway. He called a taxi to take me home, but I went straight to the police. Thames Valley were notorious for their treatment of rape victims - there was even a TV programme about it. They laughed at me.

So sorry this happened to you. Bastard rapist and fuck those police officers. I hope you are doing okay now. 💐

He ditched me midway through the date - and obviously wasn't kind enough to tell me

Went on a date with a guy I met on tinder who stated that he was 5'10 and 45 years old.
He turned out to be 55 years old and was only 5'2
He was also a flat earther, and proceeded to explain how I was wrong for the next half an hour. After that he explained his kinks. In great detail. And then asked me if I would go back to his and clean his gaff naked. Needless to say, I make my excuses and left

Went on a date with a guy who was vegan (no issues with that, I was vegetarian). He announced within 5 minutes of us meeting that he pretty much only eats rice. Anyway, we go out to dinner, vegetarian Chinese place he chose for us, which was lovely. He was boring as hell though. And when the bill came, he’d ‘forgot his wallet’ so I had to buy his order of pineapple fried rice. 😂

This thread has inspired me to delete my OLD account.
Too many crazy guys out there 🤣
Someone should compile these experiences into a book!

I’d spent about two weeks texting a guy I’d met online. Very witty, good conversation, interesting, wide variety of topics, nicely flirty but not ott etc. When we met up, he seemed like a different person. Couldn’t hold a decent conversation. Shut down normal topics of conversation with ‘I don’t know’ or one word answers. When I asked him about his last holiday (that’s how desperate for conversation I was) he said he didn’t need to go on holidays cos he watched travel shows on tv. Was in his late 30s but still living with his parents and saw no reason to move out, actually said it was great cos his mother cooked his dinner for him. Really really hard work. Turns out the reason he seemed like a different person to the man I’d been texting was because he actually was a different person! They were identical twins, in looks anyway. One was sociable and engaging, the other was very much not. So they hatched a plan that the normal one would reel the woman in by text and then send the weirdo on the date, and just hope the woman wouldn’t notice. I mean, it’s foolproof. What could possibly go wrong? One of the most bizarre experiences of my life!

@totallytotalled

Had a great couple of weeks chatting to a guy online and I decided to travel to his city and meet him. I booked a hotel for ME to stay in. He turned up and must have bee (I shit you not) 29 years older than his profile, 4 stone larger than his picture with significantly less hair. My heart sank when he turned up and I pretty much immediately said I wasn't feeling it but let's go for a drink. He then spent the rest of the night suggesting we go back to the hotel even though on numerous occasions I said I wasn't feeling it. He walked me back to the hotel and then when I dashed into the lift whilst he was in the loo he began texting me saying he didn't understand what had happened and he thought he was staying with me Honestly the weirdest date ever and it astounded me that he didn't realise that he didn't look like his profile and thought he was still on for a shag

You're a better person than me going through with the date

@Ionlydomassiveones
I’ll believe in ‘equality’ wish women earn the same as men , when men do even close to half the unpaid labour and childcare in the world and when men are expected to spend three times as much as women to look ‘hot’

I was a single mum of 2. Met a man through OLD. We had chatted on the phone a few times. Seemed nice. We arranged to meet for a drink. It was throwing it down. I had arranged a baby sitter and borrowed an outfit from a friend, so several people knew I was meeting someone . I stood on the corner in the pissing rain but he didn't turn up.I rang him but it went through to answer phone. Eventually I gave up and went home. I rang him the next day , no answer. I borrowed the phone of a friend who had popped round and rang him on that. He didn't recognise the number so he answered. Apparently he had had a date at lunchtime about 2 hours away. He felt the date was going well so didn't bother to drive back and meet me. That would have been sort of okay if he had bothered to let me know.Two weeks later he rang and asked if I would like to meet as the other person hadn't worked out. Um, that's a no

[quote Anothergreatday]@Ionlydomassiveones
I’ll believe in ‘equality’ wish women earn the same as men , when men do even close to half the unpaid labour and childcare in the world and when men are expected to spend three times as much as women to look ‘hot’[/quote]
Exactly. Women will have invariably spent more on even basic grooming before a date than a man. Also dating is inherently more risky for women. It's not an equal footing. I can also assure you that most men who wish to split the bill don't give a flying fuck about equality.

Paying the bill.
Worked with a man who went on a dinner date with a young woman. He paid and was then very put out that she didn't have sex with him. The way he spoke about her really creeped me out. He had paid, so there should be sex. I always paid half on dates so there was no expectation of 'extras'

Was talking to a man many years ago, arranged to meet up. Had my doubts when he said he’d be wearing black slacks 😳 but hey thought it rude not to meet up.
Saw him walk into the pub an instantly knew it wasn’t happening, however went in. He was sitting down and told me to get a drink , which I did. He then proceeded to tell me how he’d moved into a flat opposite his ex wife’s house and tried to run her over. Final compliment was that I had big feet… I don’t . Made up an excuse and went.
Moral of the tale ? Slacks are a no no

I went to meet a date by a local statue in town. We had chatted on the phone and he had described himself. When I got there there was no one fitting that description. I rang his number on my mobile and the man by the statue answered. He had told me he was 6ft tall and had a professional job.Turned out he was 5'4" , was dressed like a goth and had a tattoo of 'cut here' and the dotted line around his neck.

Blind date arranged by my mate’s (older) bf. I was 18. They gave me a lift to where we were meeting in a group. He turned up, greasy biker type (wearing colours on his lovely grease encrusted denim waistcoat). He was in his late 20s apparently. He was in his 30s but had a very rough paper round. Long, greasy hair swept majestically back from his receding forehead. Lots of prison tatts. Then he smiled. No front teeth. I hustled mate to the loo to say wtf ? Then he took me one side to say he didn’t usually go with fat chicks (I was a size ten) but if I didn’t tell anyone I could go back to his.
Mates bf couldn’t understand why I binned him off and got a lift home with friends.

There is no gender pay gap, for those under 40 and without children who are in full-time employment. So says ONS:
www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/earningsandworkinghours/bulletins/genderpaygapintheuk/2019

Absolutely there are for those with children ... but that's not all daters.

For those concerned with inequality, maybe those women pay for dates when the man is from an ethnic minority or have a disability?

The only time I don’t pay on a first date is if I’m open to date number two. I will always offer to pay halves and if I don’t want date number two, I will be insistent on footing my half.
The only times I have allowed someone to pick up the bill is if we both agree I will get the next one.

This notion that men should pay on the first date is beyond bonkers. Why? Tbh nothing good ever comes from men like this, as they use money to control women/ feel more powerful.

You can tail against inherent inequalities in society but walking round expecting men to pay only exacerbates those inequalities.

Go out in the outer belt of Surrey sometime. Full of divorced rich men in their 50’s and 60’s offering picking up all the tabs. Plenty of women letting them. Trust me, nothing about resetting equality there.

To be clear. It’s grim as fuck. They think they own women. Because they pay for champagne. Pay your half towards dates ladies and stop judging men who expect that. Because the opposite are entitled dicks!