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Original poster

First date nightmares tell me yours..

289 replies

Oakleaf40 · 11/02/2022 15:32

So first date after talking to this guy for a while...

I absolutely hated it.. He is such a nice guy but all he did was talk about his Ex... and his food manners were shocking. Talking with his mouth open, using his hands to move food yuck!! rude to the waiter... was such a shame .. Tell me yours..

OP posts:
miltonj · 11/02/2022 17:50

@Nailsbythesea

I met a guy for a first date from my church. His parents were god fearing evangelicals and he walked me back to their house where I had parked my car on the drive (he lived at home at 25!). He was good looking and nice and date was fine - so we had a snog on the doorstep - and he came loudly during the kiss and well made rather large noises ‘oh my god oh my god oh my god I’m coming right now’ very very loudly - and I was only kidding him. At which point the front door opened and his father started screaming about how I was the devil corrupting his son etc I didn’t say a word I got in my car and left
Wow that's insane!
GreyTS · 11/02/2022 17:58

@DillonPanthersTexas

I’m with @CocoCookieCream on this one. If a man doesn’t at least offer to pay on the first date, then there wouldn’t be a second date. I find that certain men only seem to believe in equality and feminism when it absolves them from putting their hand in their pocket.

I always find there is a certain irony in those who complain about a man 'not putting their hand in their pocket' when they refuse to open their purse let alone pay half.

Honestly no good relationship comes from a first date where the man didn't pay, it's shit but the reality is that men are willing to pay if they value you and your company, if they don't then that translates into the rest of the relationship.. my experience anyway, yours might be different
IncompleteSenten · 11/02/2022 18:04

He looked exactly like my dad.

Thatbliddywoman · 11/02/2022 18:07

She told me she'd done life in prison for manslaughter.

Another started crying about her traumatic childhood. It was horrid, to be fair and I'm an empathic person but not on a first date? Please.

Fayekrista · 11/02/2022 18:10

Met guy online, arranged to meet. He was travelling 1hr to my home town.
The conversation leading up to the date the week before had gone stale/boring but I felt bad he'd travelled & booked a hotel (for himself) so reluctantly went & decided to be polite.
By the time I got there he was already drunk, everytime I went to the loo more empty glasses mysteriously appeared at our table.
He then tried it on with a bloke in the toilets & almost beaten up!
I told him I needed to make a call, got in a taxi & left!
It took him until 2am to realise I had gone! 🤣
What followed was several abusive msgs, calling me a slag, whore, etc
Blocked there & then.

I wish this was a terrible nightmare... but nope 100% true!!!

DillonPanthersTexas · 11/02/2022 18:10

GreyTS

I just don't see how in this day and age if you are a financially independent woman you would expect the man on an internet date to pick up the tab. Sure, if some guy crossed the room in a bar and randomly asked you out the dynamics would be slightly different. If you are OLD then it is entirely possible to go on several quick successive dates with different people, it is a bit unfair to expect the guy to pick up the tab each time. It has been done to death on here but it is quite frankly embarrassing when people start using some of the above stated excuses or the cost of getting ready for a date as an excuse to not even pay for a drink.

Sweetlikejollof · 11/02/2022 18:12

@DillonPanthersTexas

We live in an unequal society. Employment is unequal. Pay is unequal. Relationships are unequal. Playing at ‘equality’ when it suits you might be your bag, but it’s certainly not mine.

Keep reaching for those excuses.

If you're claiming any of that is untrue, then I’m not the one that’s reaching.

And I don’t need an ‘excuse’. I can choose to conduct my dating and relationships however I wish, for whatever reason I wish. But, you do you. 😂

Sweetlikejollof · 11/02/2022 18:16

@Comedycook

We live in an unequal society. Employment is unequal. Pay is unequal. Relationships are unequal. Playing at ‘equality’ when it suits you might be your bag, but it’s certainly not mine

Beautifully put @sweetlikejollof
Couldn't agree more

Thank you.
scooterbear · 11/02/2022 18:16

Not the first date but the second...Grinin the middle of Sex he looked down and said 'er I think you might be bleeding' I knew I wasn't due on my period so I said ' I don't think that's me' there was blood everywhere...turns out his Willy had split open a bit at the top-too much enthusiastic use after a long spell of not getting any at allGrin poor man was so mortified.
We are still together however and I love him to bits (and we can laugh about it now. Or I can. In fact I laughed a bit at the time once I'd mopped him up a bit Grin)

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 11/02/2022 18:24

@bonfireheart

Was super rude to the waiters and somehow had a toothpick on his which he used to clean his teeth with.
I’m so sorry, you seem to have been on a date with my dad! He once literally got floss out and flossed his teeth after a posh meal. I nearly died.
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 11/02/2022 18:30

My worst first date was the one that didn’t happen Sad

I had had a flirtation with this guy over the course of a few weeks/months - we didn’t know each other but would see each other out in town every week. He finally asked me out, and we agreed to meet in a local pub a couple of days later.

He stood me up! I was REALLY annoyed. This was about 1999/2000, so while we did have mobiles it was less usual to have them on all the time. I couldn’t get in touch with him anyway.

While I was finishing my solitary glass of wine, this guy started chatting me up, we ended up getting drunk, sharing numbers and having a song at the end of the night. So not all was lost Grin

THEN - forgot all about the second dude until he randomly rung me one evening and asked me out, I said yes. He invited me to his for a meal and the second I was there tried to get my clothes off. I declined and we had an ok evening. When I called him another day he pretended not to know who I was Grin

Still a bit annoyed I took a hardline with the guy that stood me up - he told me he had a family emergency and forgot his phone, and even though I liked him and knew he liked me, I wouldn’t give an inch. Sometimes I wonder what would have come of it had I given him another chance. Certainly it wouldn’t have been so awkward when we ran into each other!

WhereDoesThisToiletGo · 11/02/2022 18:31

He took me to a post mortem

Okay, he actually took me to a port mortem BEFORE our first date

LemonDrizzles · 11/02/2022 18:36

First date, bowling, at the end, went in for a kiss, he bit my bottom lip hard. We stopped kissing. Kissed again, he bit my bottom lip harder. No thanks

WorkHardPlayHard1 · 11/02/2022 18:38

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

Having dinner in a restaurant I'd suggested. Halfway through the waiter came to do the usual "everything okay" check. Date said "Yes thanks, she's finished", leaned across and took my plate away and handed it to the waiter. I was sat there dumbfounded with my cutlery still poised above my now-missing plate...
Wot happened next? Controlling red flag behaviour!! Angry
Sweetlikejollof · 11/02/2022 18:39

@GreyTS That just about sums it up.

highlighta · 11/02/2022 18:49

Well my worst one was my most recent one and the reason for coming off old.

Chatted up a storm for about 2 weeks, seemed to get on really well. Agreed to meet for a meal (I suggested coffee but he asked if I'd join him at a pasta place, I agreed). When we got there he seemed quite awkward, I thought it was nerves. Turns out he only ever eats one type of pasta meal, hence the place. Some way though chatting he quite harshly asks me why my hair is a different colour to my profile pic. Yes, granted it was slightly darker but by one shade in brown, hardly hugely different. He said he liked people looking the same as their profile pic. So I laughed it off saying in 4 to 5 weeks it would have faded again. Then he flitted between awkward one minute and joking the next. He then seemed to rush me thorough the meal, and asked for the bill before I was even finished. Bill came and I took out my purse to pay my half. He said that was offensive to him and he would pay as he asked me there. I say thank you and we head out to leave. His car was parked next to mine in the car park. First he asked me did I want to sit in his car with him, I said no thanks I had to be going, my dc were at home. Then he suggested that I follow him to his house. I again said, thank you for dinner but I need to go. Wow did that flip a switch and he became so angry. He jumped into his car and screeched off. I was so shocked I just stood there in the street for a bit.

So it would appear that some men think that if they buy you dinner, they are entitled to sex in return.

A few days later I thought I ought to clear the air (why I don't know, but I think I just wanted to hear his reasoning for his behaviour), to which he replied 'there is just something about you that I really don't like'.

It was horrible and I was really quite upset about it and I've kept the app deleted ever since.

NeverChange · 11/02/2022 18:50

Only 2 bad ones...

First one was set up a friend who worked with the guy. Decent guy enjoyed the beginning of the date until he started asking are you a spender or a saver? Then do you clear your credit card in full every month? How much do you save monthly? I asked him if he worked in the tax office as even they wouldn't ask me all these questions and he told me "if you want to pass the potential wifey audition, you need to stop dodging these questions now. I wouldn't be taking on a liability & a woman who intends to sponge off me".

I out earn him and have no debt but I cut short his "wifey audition"!

Second one was an online date. Looked nothing like his photo and wasn't just disheveled but actually dirty, like he hadn't washed his neck & fingernails were filthy. Smelt of BO & stale smoke. He bought the first drink so I thought it was only manners to buy one back. At that stage he was ranting about immigrants, single mothers everyone so when he suggested getting a third drink, I just said that while he was lovely to meet him, I didn't think we were compatible. To say he didn't take it well is an understatement. Banged him glass on the table and threw a stool over and started roaring at me "you stuck up bitch,you were judging me the minute you saw me, you bitches don't give men under 6ft a chance. You all just want David Beckham and a big cock". One of the barman walked me out while a customer held him back as he chased after me calling me "a shallow whore". I was so embarrassed, he was a nut job. That ended my OLD.

Georgyporky · 11/02/2022 18:53

A mutual friend introduced us, & I had a very pleasant evening.
Went back to his for a coffee. Don't remember it, but I was raped - obviously drugged.
He denied it when I regained consciousness , but wet smelly knickers were a bit of a giveaway.
He called a taxi to take me home, but I went straight to the police.
Thames Valley were notorious for their treatment of rape victims - there was even a TV programme about it. They laughed at me.

ProudThrilledHappy · 11/02/2022 18:58

So sorry @Georgyporky

WorkHardPlayHard1 · 11/02/2022 19:01

@Pebbledashery

Oh god, I remember meeting a bloke off the Internet, he was a true cat fish and looked nothing like his pics at all, he was at least 20 years older than he stated and he made me feel really uncomfortable by being touchy feely straight away. I met him at the train station and when he asked me where I wanted to go I told him to look at the tube map whilst I went to the loo, I went to the loo on the platform and a train was coming in the opposite direction, just before the doors closed I bolted and got on that train and left him at the station. I must've been 16 or 17 at the time. So awful and gutless but, I couldn't go through with a date with him
Awful and gutless? Brave and acting on your instincts when in danger more like! Flight or flight instinct right there! Xxx
highlighta · 11/02/2022 19:07

@Georgyporky

A mutual friend introduced us, & I had a very pleasant evening. Went back to his for a coffee. Don't remember it, but I was raped - obviously drugged. He denied it when I regained consciousness , but wet smelly knickers were a bit of a giveaway. He called a taxi to take me home, but I went straight to the police. Thames Valley were notorious for their treatment of rape victims - there was even a TV programme about it. They laughed at me.
This is awful. I am sorry this happened to you.
MyBottleOfRibena · 11/02/2022 19:07

@WhereDoesThisToiletGo

He took me to a post mortem

Okay, he actually took me to a port mortem BEFORE our first date

I would find that very interesting
WorkHardPlayHard1 · 11/02/2022 19:13

@highlighta

Well my worst one was my most recent one and the reason for coming off old.

Chatted up a storm for about 2 weeks, seemed to get on really well. Agreed to meet for a meal (I suggested coffee but he asked if I'd join him at a pasta place, I agreed). When we got there he seemed quite awkward, I thought it was nerves. Turns out he only ever eats one type of pasta meal, hence the place. Some way though chatting he quite harshly asks me why my hair is a different colour to my profile pic. Yes, granted it was slightly darker but by one shade in brown, hardly hugely different. He said he liked people looking the same as their profile pic. So I laughed it off saying in 4 to 5 weeks it would have faded again. Then he flitted between awkward one minute and joking the next. He then seemed to rush me thorough the meal, and asked for the bill before I was even finished. Bill came and I took out my purse to pay my half. He said that was offensive to him and he would pay as he asked me there. I say thank you and we head out to leave. His car was parked next to mine in the car park. First he asked me did I want to sit in his car with him, I said no thanks I had to be going, my dc were at home. Then he suggested that I follow him to his house. I again said, thank you for dinner but I need to go. Wow did that flip a switch and he became so angry. He jumped into his car and screeched off. I was so shocked I just stood there in the street for a bit.

So it would appear that some men think that if they buy you dinner, they are entitled to sex in return.

A few days later I thought I ought to clear the air (why I don't know, but I think I just wanted to hear his reasoning for his behaviour), to which he replied 'there is just something about you that I really don't like'.

It was horrible and I was really quite upset about it and I've kept the app deleted ever since.

That something is that you had s brain and wouldn't put up with his nonsense!!

Wot a dick!! Xx

totallytotalled · 11/02/2022 19:16

Had a great couple of weeks chatting to a guy online and I decided to travel to his city and meet him. I booked a hotel for ME to stay in.

He turned up and must have bee (I shit you not) 29 years older than his profile, 4 stone larger than his picture with significantly less hair.

My heart sank when he turned up and I pretty much immediately said I wasn't feeling it but let's go for a drink.

He then spent the rest of the night suggesting we go back to the hotel Hmmeven though on numerous occasions I said I wasn't feeling it.

He walked me back to the hotel and then when I dashed into the lift whilst he was in the loo he began texting me saying he didn't understand what had happened and he thought he was staying with me Confused
Honestly the weirdest date ever and it astounded me that he didn't realise that he didn't look like his profile and thought he was still on for a shag Hmm

totallytotalled · 11/02/2022 19:16

20 years older