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Original poster

Found HIV testing kit in hubby’s bag!

456 replies

PocketRocket81 · 09/02/2022 11:14

Ok, so DH has been a little withdrawn for several weeks. Not sure what came over me but decided to have a nose through his work hold-all. I’ve come across an unopened HIV kit. What the hell is going on? How do I approach him when he’s home later today?

OP posts:
PeekabooAtTheZoo · 09/02/2022 19:42

he'd be beside himself with terror that he'd passed it on to you.
I meant to add, and therefore he'd be trying to convince you to get tested too.

Christinatherabbit · 09/02/2022 19:43

Why would he have health anxiety over potentially having HIV if you both got tested after his ONS. Surely they tested him for it then? He's obviously taken another risk recently. So sorry OP. I would be arranging to have myself tested ASAP. Do you have children?

collieresponder88 · 09/02/2022 19:46

So first he sId a prank and then changed it to anxiety I really think his lying so sorry op his a cheat

NightmareSlashDelightful · 09/02/2022 19:46

@mindutopia Correct me if I'm wrong but whenever I've had an STI test the HIV element has been part of the blood screen along with syphilis and (I think) hep B. The test kits I've seen aren't marked 'HIV' because they don't just test for HIV. Is it unusual that OP's found something marked for HIV only?

Mybestyear · 09/02/2022 19:47

@KeepingAnOpenMind

Isn’t it something to do with the jab?
Eh?? Hmm
Dita73 · 09/02/2022 19:47

Hate to say it but he’s lying. He’s also a complete shit

GettingItOutThere · 09/02/2022 19:47

hes lying. I would get yourself tested for STD's to be honest including HIV

Then i would never trust or sleep with him again regardless. Hes lying and has something to hide

Hdhr8jsj · 09/02/2022 19:51

This is looking really bad OP!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/02/2022 19:52

Does he suffer with health anxiety?

3Daddy31982 · 09/02/2022 19:52

If it helps I had a hairdresser when I was 3. Lovely girl and with a great guy.

She had a gorgeous and lovely bf. Think male model drop dead 😍 gorgeous looked like a walking angel.

He got sick and died. I found out at 16 in 1998 he got hiv and died. Hairdresser never got it.

He didn't do drugs/didn't cheat on her. He never knew where he caught it. He had had an op.

She's still single

That was meant to help

lunar1 · 09/02/2022 19:52

@KeepingAnOpenMind

Isn’t it something to do with the jab?
What Jab?
okthx · 09/02/2022 19:53

I didn’t read all the answers. I do have health anxiety myself that manifests in different ways. At some point something triggered me and I started to panic that I got infected with HIV through a medical procedure or manicure etc. So I bought a testing kit. I’m in a long term marriage and was never unfaithful. It was my anxiety.

roastingmichael · 09/02/2022 19:54

[quote PocketRocket81]@mindutopia Terrence Higgins Trust?[/quote]
Here you go OP. www.tht.org.uk/our-services/sexual-health/hiv-testing/low-cost-and-free-hiv-self-test-kits

Looks like you can get a postal test for 15 quid or free in some areas.

I'd be booking dog STI screening asap, this doesn't add up.

HaveringWavering · 09/02/2022 19:54

@okthx

I didn’t read all the answers. I do have health anxiety myself that manifests in different ways. At some point something triggered me and I started to panic that I got infected with HIV through a medical procedure or manicure etc. So I bought a testing kit. I’m in a long term marriage and was never unfaithful. It was my anxiety.
And what about your husband, were you not anxious for him too?
3Daddy31982 · 09/02/2022 19:54

You do know that you need to test 6 months after to make sure no hiv?

3Daddy31982 · 09/02/2022 19:55

Oktx- a mani? Wth?

Regularsizedrudy · 09/02/2022 19:57

I would pack my bags and leave. The fact he can’t give you a straight answer about such a serious disease shows how little care or respect he has for you.

BuddhaForMary · 09/02/2022 19:59

I had a test for HIV added to routine blood tests about 3 years ago. I'd been having unusual symptoms that could've been many things but one of them was HIV. The GP apologised for suggesting it, like I might be insulted. Certainly wasn't insulted, and when my bloods all came back clear it was good to know.

If the ONS has been in touch and suggested he test because she's had a test herself, then that would make sense re health anxiety. But he needs to be completely transparent with you and he's certainly not being that as yet.

NightmareSlashDelightful · 09/02/2022 20:02

@3Daddy31982

You do know that you need to test 6 months after to make sure no hiv?
I'm not sure you do any more, I think the test windows have improved now. I was always told if you got blood tested (and it has to be a blood test) no less than four weeks after potential exposure the result would be reliable.
HelloMama · 09/02/2022 20:07

Yes, the window period (time from catching HIV to it possibly showing on a test) is 40 days.

Lovemusic33 · 09/02/2022 20:07

If he had a test after the ONS and has not slept with anyone other than you since why would he feel anxious and need to test again?

He’s lying, he’s gone for a bath with his phone to make sure there’s nothing on there that will get him into trouble, he will then allow you to look at the phone. His reaction shows that he’s hiding something.

BuddhaForMary · 09/02/2022 20:09

If he had a test after the ONS and has not slept with anyone other than you since why would he feel anxious and need to test again?

Maybe they only tested for basic STIs last time? I have a friend who regularly gets tested for STIs but has only recently had a HIV test.

Suzanne999 · 09/02/2022 20:11

He changed his story to you — that would immediately make me suspicious.
Perhaps get tested yourself just to be sure?
But how you get the truth out of DH… no idea.

Ponoka7 · 09/02/2022 20:17

A finger prick test can take 90 days after exposure to show up HiV. The window is smaller if blood is taken from a vein.
OP I'd say that he's probably cheated while working away. I'd be pretty disgusted that he was using it as a prank, but I doubt that's the case. I'd want you both screened.

Wrongkindofovercoat · 09/02/2022 20:17

I agree with everyone who is saying you need to book yourself in for sexual health screening, for your own piece of mind.
The fact he wouldn't let you look at his phone and then went out with the phone just means he has been given the opportunity to get rid of any evidence, come up with a different story. I am guessing he has taken his phone with him to the bathroom ? Don't be suprised if you get a different story after he has had chance to seek advice or google different scenarios he could use.
Sorry you are going through this Flowers

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