Dating thread 225: Roses are red, violets are blue

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I hear you @SortingItOut… in the summer then, crop top! I’ll be reminding you!! 😬
(Was going to say maybe I’d have one to show then if I finally get my booking.. but who knows.. 4th time lucky to try?!?)

Exciting @BelladiMamma!! 💗

@BelladiMamma do it!

Chatting with Mr Karaoke he's multi-dating

So we are FWB to see how it goes.

I'm definitely not going to invest feelings there. Though I can genuinely see us being pals.

[quote cravingthelook]@BelladiMamma do it!

Chatting with Mr Karaoke he's multi-dating

So we are FWB to see how it goes.

I'm definitely not going to invest feelings there. Though I can genuinely see us being pals. [/quote]
That's good you're straight with where he is from the start. Or would you rather he said something earlier? Would prefer people to have a 'multi dating' badge or something on tinder, not that I've ever used it.
With Feeld at least you know where you stand.

I'm finding being in a relationship quite challenging if I'm honest. MrD is great and I fancy the pants off him but it's so strange to be called up and asked things like 'what are you doing today' and he actually means that he'd like to see me.

Weird shit 🤪

placemarking again

@BelladiMamma sometimes I think it’s just getting to know someone though. What they mean when they say things. It takes time doesn’t it 🙂

@BelladiMamma

We had a long chat - I told him he should have said sooner.

I'm already emotionally distancing myself which means eventually I'll just tell him not to bother.

I have a list of mens numbers who are my 'friend' ... AKA I could call if I want some. I am finally reaching the point of not bothering.

cravingthelook
Wow that’s a sucesss story ! And a shag
SortingItOut
That’s a great update , very very positive

cravingthelook
Ah read your later update
Meh
Sorry I got too excited too soon

My updates are
Still shagging mr Balkan
He wasn’t on a slow fade after all

He does however have some major ex and child acess issues
It gets him down and I’ve now learnt to leave him to it
It’s hard actually , I know know the system and can understand the UK system as pertains to child acess , custody etc
But I don’t want to say too much and get involved
Boundaries

I also texted overseas obsession for his birthday and we are friends again
I’m ok to have him on back burner in case things go weird with my Baltic
Not mature but fuck it
I do really like him as we are so similar

[quote cravingthelook]@BelladiMamma

We had a long chat - I told him he should have said sooner.

I'm already emotionally distancing myself which means eventually I'll just tell him not to bother.

I have a list of mens numbers who are my 'friend' ... AKA I could call if I want some. I am finally reaching the point of not bothering. [/quote]
There is an abundance of cock, we all need to remember that. It's not a scarcity economy ... but the quality is often poor.

Meh. People would do themselves so many favours if they just knew how to be honest early on.

Lovely reading some positive updates.

I finally saw MrMind yesterday (after he bailed on me last weekend through illness). I've tried to back off but although he's been unwell, he's been making an effort with keeping in contact.
Met for a coffee yesterday (it was my suggestion but he seemed keen) and we are seeing each other properly on Tuesday (his suggestion this time).

My spidey senses are off the scale though but I'm really not sure why... I'm not convinced he isn't multi dating or at least keeping options open.
I think maybe I look for the worst in people, which is a bit unfair as he hasn't done anything wrong as such. I think Tuesday will tell me whether this has legs or not.

Looks like a really busy spring here and feel similar to @BelladiMamma and @WeWantTheFinestWines and @Isitreallyme0077

I've benefitted so much from this thread and everyone here, (and hopefully have been able to help others at times!)

But feel I'm just posting for the sake of posting/overanalysing to a certain extent now - I'm confident enough in my own judgement, and have "lost my training wheels and naivete" on the crazy apps and managing my dating life and fitting it in with my other life goals and emotional health.

So happy to privately get on with it (or not) for now.

Plus now that lockdown shite is coming to a close I want to cut down on screen time as well!

Still around on the group and here and really rooting for everyone (and hope you all root for me and will keep an eye for the next meet!) but will be stepping back and reading rather than writing.

Aww shame to see a couple of people are stepping back from the thread but nice to know that it's because they've got stuff going on / have confidence to move forward without needing the handrail.

I've been pretty quiet here lately too but that's mainly because I've not had much going on in terms of dating lately. Been working too hard! After my 4 fruitless date zeros in early Jan I've had a pause, hardly chatted to anyone online, but I do have another date zero lined up for this week. We'll see how it goes. If no luck, I might pause again or at least keep my threshold high for going on any other date zeros. This week's iron seems like a nice one though, so we'll see... 🤞

Hey @ReturnOfTheBunk so glad to hear you’re doing good and things are looking busy and not really needing much from the thread. I will still be around as I am open to dating just not much to discuss right now on that front, but when there is, ya’ll be the first to know 😁

Still aiming for summer meet and will hopefully involve a comedy club of some description. Further details tbc …🙂

@ReturnOfTheBunk shout me if you’re ever in london and want to catch a coffee 👍

Lovely to hear everyone's positive stories. Nothing to report here as ever.

I’m wondering whether we could re invent ourselves with a different thread where we chat about/share/discuss things in a slighter broader context than just specifically ‘dating’. I’ve been on the thread here for 2 years and I’ve grown attached to the chat and support but maybe like some others have said I don’t always feel that I have something to say, share or add that is always specifically about relationships. I don’t however want to loose the ‘ friendships’ that I have built up. I’ve benefited greatly on a personal level from the collective wisdom and kindness offered when I needed an objective view or supportive nod that what I was feeling was okay. I think I would contribute more regularly if we were sharing/discussing things from our lives- which obviously already happens- as well as anything specific to our dates or relationships.

*lose not loose !

@Stepcount

I’m wondering whether we could re invent ourselves with a different thread where we chat about/share/discuss things in a slighter broader context than just specifically ‘dating’. I’ve been on the thread here for 2 years and I’ve grown attached to the chat and support but maybe like some others have said I don’t always feel that I have something to say, share or add that is always specifically about relationships. I don’t however want to loose the ‘ friendships’ that I have built up. I’ve benefited greatly on a personal level from the collective wisdom and kindness offered when I needed an objective view or supportive nod that what I was feeling was okay. I think I would contribute more regularly if we were sharing/discussing things from our lives- which obviously already happens- as well as anything specific to our dates or relationships.

I'm in!

What should we call it? OLD grads?

Equally I'm happy to set up a super restricted invitation only WhatsApp chat as that will cut down on screen time for me

I like the idea of OLD grads. I guess I should accept that’s what I am - yesterday was three years with Mr B, met on Fab, most of the time we’re super loved up, occasionally I want to run away screaming 😱. I don’t want a relationship but I want him. It’s confusing.

I saw this cartoon this morning and it basically sums me up

OLD grads is a great idea - I love this thread through as even though I’m in a relationship I still need an occasional bit of help navigating these early days and my feelings as it’s been a long time since I was starting out with someone. And a chat where other topics are not off limits would be good too.
I’ll still be on this one too as I love reading everyone’s stories.
I wrote an update yesterday and managed to delete it but Mr L and I are together 6 months now and it’s just getting better.
It was his 50th at the weekend and I met his closest friends and more of his family and I just loved how he was the same with them as he is with me and I think they liked me and the idea of us together.
He did say a few drunken ILY’s when we came home and has written it on a card too but I haven’t said it back. I definitely feel it but terrified to actually acknowledge it out loud
See this is why I need this thread

OLD grads thread 1 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4487344-old-grads-thread-1

Started the new one here!

I can’t classify myself as a grad yet

I’m still living very immaturely through my WhatsApp messages and reading ‘last seen ‘ staid of my irons
I’m like an 18 year old !!!

Maybe , one day !!!!