Sexual assault - reported 'DH'

[Flamingjunior]

Need a handhold please - where do I go from here. Have posted before about DH sexually assaulting me whilst asleep - I've woken to it several times and once again tonight. I cannot take it anymore.... I am devastated that he's do this continually. I asked him to get out of the bed, he refused. I have moved to a spare room and reported online (called 101 but was on hold). I feel sick. Sick that he's done this again... sick that this will ruin his reaction ship with his DC but I cannot keep letting it happen. My DD thinks the world of him..... what do I do? How can I tear her world apart by taking her and moving out?

Well done. keep moving forward, don’t back down now 💐

He is doing the 'ruining' .

His choice to sexually abuse you has caused this. It is his fault, not yours and don't let him convince you otherwise

Your child will be fine because you will be free from a sexual predator and the effect that will have on you will benefit both you and your child

You are so brave and so strong. you have absolutely done the right thing. He can't keep getting away with this.
You have the right to sleep without being assaulted.

Well done OP you have done the right thing. You have been assaulted- more than once and you have phoned the police. That is the right course of action.

Where it goes from here is on him. If it has negative consequences for him at work/with his DC etc etc that is entirely his fault. Those negative consequences don’t happen to people who aren’t sex offenders.

Don’t shoulder any guilt. It’s him. Not you.

Is there a family member who can help you get him out the house today?

@Crazykatie This is terrible advice. Reporting sex crimes to the police isn’t about revenge or humiliation. Perhaps the OP wants to report her husband’s sex crimes because they are crimes.

She is already worried about it affecting his relationship with their DD, but that shouldn’t be her worry: it’s entirely something HE has done.

OP, you are so brave. I am so proud of you ♥️

I agree it needs reporting.
It needs to go on his record for all the other women he will come across in the future.
He also needs to see that what he is doing is wrong, very wrong.

@Crazykatie have you even read the thread?

I'm so sorry he's done this to you op but you are so strong and brave for reporting him. Of course dd loves her daddy. You splitting up doesn't mean she won't have a relationship with him, but you deserve to live free of fear and the threat of sexual assault.

You're not to blame here.
H3's done this to you repeatedly and wont stop. Xxx

It’s been reported on line, says so in earlier post.
OP - don’t forget that if you feel scared or threatened call 999.

Please call 999 now and report him.

Check out Women’s Aid for support www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/am-i-in-an-abusive-relationship/

Sending you hugs, keep yourself safe.

Xxx

Well done you, you've taken the first step to getting this abuser out of you and your daughter's life. I would imagine that's probably why he's not with the mother of his DD, once an abuser! If the police haven't come back to you yet I'd call 999 Tbh, can you take your DD to family for a few hours? Xx

You've down the right thing Op. He is a sex offender. A rapist. He knows he's doing wrong and he tries to convince you that you're imagining it / over-reacting because otherwise he needs you to believe that. He knows that otherwise you could tell people or report his crimes.

You are doing 100% the right thing. You are telling the truth. He is a rapist and the Police should be told.

But aside from what the Police do, and how long that process takes, you need to be thinking about what happens next. Clearly you don't want to be with him anymore. He rapes you, affects your mental health, lies, gaslights, doesn't respect or love you (you don't do those things to someone you love). He doesn't deserve you. He doesn't deserve the love of your daughter.

Imagine as an adult that you told your DD what he was really like, and that you stayed for her. She would be mortified that you continued being sexually assualted for her.

Stay strong. You've done the right thing. Keep your resolve and you can get away from this vile man and his despicable behaviour for good. A better, calmer, happier and more contented life awaits you. You have to get through this bumpy bit, and there is support for you through that.

@BlazingFlames 999 is for emergencies.

Thank you for all of your comments and reassurances this morning. I have reported it, I tried 101 but was n hold and therefore took the advice offered and reported online. I have his name and address and details and they have text my number this morning asking me to call 101 with a reference number to discuss. I would like to do that in a calm manner today away from DD (8). I have also told him I reported it and he can explain to the police why he thinks it's ok. I didn't report him to humiliate or cause him embarrassment, I want him to know it's not ok and as long as I don't report it, he will carry on. I thought he'd stop when I told him the first time, and the second when he actually had sex with me. Luckily last night I woke up and stopped him from the full act.

Obviously this morning, he was just instigating sex. I have told him, I was fast asleep and woke up to it. I can't go through all the details again, this is the same way it has happened before. He does not think I'm awake. My dd has covid, I've had a rough few late days. He knows I was exhausted and would not want sex at nearly midnight.

Thank you all, I really appreciate the support. My BF has text this morning. I wish I could sweep it all away but I need to tell someone in RL.

I hope the police get in touch today and you can tell them everything. This is not okay and he needs to understand this.

You absolutely did the right thing

Take care of yourself and your daughter now. Don't let him talk you round

, Flaming. You have done the right thing. You aren't the one responsible for the situation, your partner is. If he can step up and accept responsibility, there will be ways of managing things ok with the DC.
Lots of love xx

You aren't tearing her world apart, he is.
He isn't concerned enough about his dd to stop trying to get his sexual desires serviced in a way which the object of his attentions is unhappy with.
That's a pretty grim equation when you look at the truth of it. The blame falls squarely on him.
So sorry you and your dd are being put through this.