I’ve been separated from my ex husband for several years and just before Christmas my divorce finally came through. I’ve been dating a man for nearly 2 years and am very much in love.
My completely potty but very lovely aunt very sadly has terminal cancer. She decided that rather than leave money to people in her will she was going to buy all her closest friends and family a gift that she thought they’d like. She bought my brother a new car, paid for an extension for my sister and has paid for an incredibly OTT holiday for myself and my boyfriend. We’re due to fly out over half term.
The holiday she booked is to a place that she knows I’d be interested in as I’m a keen birdwatcher. She’s also into birding and said this place was one of the most beautiful places she’d ever been to and you’re pretty much guaranteed to see some really interesting birds. It’s also a big tourist place in the Caribbean but loads of history, beautiful waterfalls and jungles too. She’s been getting so excited planning it all, it’s really taken her mind off the whole dying a slow painful death situation (her words, btw). She’s booked amazing excursions for pretty much everyday apart from the day we arrive and the day we leave.
One excursion she was considering booking is for a walk through the jungle and then tubing down the river back to where you start with a bit of birdwatching on the way. She asked me to ask my boyfriend if he wanted to go on that one as she knows he’s not interested in birdwatching and might just want a day by the beach/ pool. I asked boyfriend and said that it’s only looking at birds on the way. We won’t be dressed up as bushes and squatting be silently for hours waiting for a particular sight, it will just be a walk through the jungle with binoculars and a bird guide book and then tubing back. Boyfriend looked unimpressed and said that he didn’t really fancy it, that was fine, I was happy to do it by myself as there will be other people there so aunt just booked it for me.
He then called me back a couple of hours later asking if there were any other mad activities he should be aware of because he’s going on holiday to relax, not to go on some kind of Bataan Death March. I laughed and said that she’s only organised a few other things - an evening sunset sail with a beach picnic, a boat trip out to a shipwreck for snorkelling and a tour of a fort and a rum distillery. He loves sailing and history so it didn’t cross my mind that he wouldn’t want to do this. He said he really didn’t want to do any of it. He wanted to not have to worry about timings on holiday and had no intention of moving from the sun lounger other than for the occasional dip and trip to the bar. He said I should do those things on my own if I was determined to do them but he would be staying at the hotel. He said he’s not going through the hell of a 10 hour flight (first class! I haven’t told him that yet though, aunt wanted it to be a surprise) to then be dragged out of bed at first light for a coach trip to look at a series of small walls.
Fair enough, some people like to not do much on holiday. This will be my first child free holiday since my eldest was born in 2012. Boyfriend has his boys 50/50 but has had regular holidays on his own as he stays at his parents in Lanzarote a few times a year. When we are together we regularly go on long walks, he doesn’t mind sitting and having a cup of tea and reading the paper while I do a bit of birdwatching for a couple of hours. We visit NT places and he loves a good castle. Yet on holiday to a beautiful place all he wants to do is sit. The hotel is in a town with loads of restaurants and bars and he even said he didn’t really fancy leaving the hotel to explore that as we are staying all inclusive so what is the point.
I don’t want to do an evening sunset cruise and beach barbecue by myself. I’ll feel a right tit. It’s really made me see him in a whole new, boring light. Miserable did.