Hey,
Sorry I’m an essay writer 🤦♀️🤷♀️🤦♀️😂 Get ya self a drink n food first as it’s gonna be looooooooooooonnnnnnnnngggggg 😂😂😂😂
I get it, I get you, I know that it’s easier to give advice and see what’s going on being an outsider. I understand what you’re saying n overthinking because it’s your life, your situation,
your trying to understand what’s happened?
What YOU said or YOU did that was wrong, what YOU could of done differently?
But YOU did nothing wrong!!
YOU can and YOU will, understand this.
BUT in your lots of your messages on here ………. YOU ARE still blaming yourself, thinking you did something…….
YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU DID CAUSE THATS YOU, TREATING PEOPLE HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED. FACT!!
I could write you a million word essay on this situation cause I’ve been in it too many times, and keep giving same men another chance thinking they’ve changed. I see the red flags, but think it’s a wobble.
I’ve been blocked soooo many times n lost sleep overthinking what I’d done wrong. Googling quotes of how I’m feeling, is he thinking about me? Waiting for that message n having butterfly’s when he eventually contacts me.
I’ve had every excuse going, and still fall for F@£KBOYS
Phone broke, playing up, no signal, it’s me not you, I dont wanna hurt you, I got family stuff, kids, work, car won’t start, I’ve heard it all, from all of these, to the extreme of my dads got cancer in hospital, they r in hospital n can’t use phone to family died……And everything in between.
I’ve been blocked and unblocked too many times.
But Guess What…..
I still fall for these types, unintentionally seem to attract them.
Always weirdos or fu(£boys, married men, men wiv secret girlfriends, like I said UNINTENTIONALLY.
Ive had n still get the 2am text message or phone call (on silent now)
And I’ve gone back to the players that have unblocked me for round 2,3, 4 +
Over the yrs in my experience, I’m slowly learning, bit by bit.
THE MAIN THING I WANT YOU DO TRY AND SEE AND THINK ABOUT IS YOU AND YOUR CHILD / CHILDREN.
Firstly, by telling you what you want to here n messaging you / seeing you on his terms, telling you his negative feelings, reasons, excuses ect, he’s in control of making you feel sorry for him.
In control of contact, going out, what he wants.
But by blocking you……He’s still in control of you,
He controls when he’s gonna unblock you. HE DECIDES IF AND WHEN!
He may even be checking your social media on friends page, they do this!
May wait till this ‘overthinking situation’ is over n you are back being the fun confident lady you was…..
Then BOOM, you get a message……
“Hey, how are you?, Ive been thinking about …….You, Us, How I was a complete dick, Saw you in town and reminded me how beautiful you are…I miss you / your hugs….………ect ect
ALL ABOUT HIM!!
And you will smile, you will feel something, a warm feeling, you will wanna believe his lies he’s still telling you for round 2.
CAUSE HE IS IN CONTROL AND HE HAS THE POWER.
As harsh as it sounds, you’re not special to him or men like this
You’re 1 of many kind, trusting, girls, lady’s that want to believe in him.
You’re not the only one he’s been, was, is messaging n messing with there lives.
Your one of a list his has to pick up and use for as long as he can n when he wants to.
Finally, would you want your daughter to be treated like this in a relation?
Would you condone n be proud of your son if he treated girls like
Is he or this so called relationship, not dating situation you would be happy to be showing your kids how relationship should be like as their role model?
I’m still hopeful n looking for the right one, a nice ma (I’ve been single single for yrs)
HIS THOUGHTS / TEXT Vs YOUR THOUGHTS / TEXT ABOUT WHAT IS WANTED IN MY OPINION
“ I just wanted to if you were busy now. I could do with getting out and taking you up on a hug x “ ✅
⬆️ This was the first time he asked to actually see me! He hadn’t seen me only in past 3 months! But I was busy he wanted to see me last minute
Mel - “I am busy this evening. I may be able to do another evening” x
‘ Ah ok. Ok let me know. Can I ask you an open question have you met anyone else?’ ❌
Mel- ‘ No I haven’t. Why have you?’
‘ No I just asking you That’s all nothing to do with me’ ❌
Mel- ‘ why are you asking me? I’m just curious. I only dated you when we was dating’
‘I don’t know just thought you might of you are an attractive woman xx’ ✅
Mel- ‘ With you saying you didn’t know what you want I was replying to it this evening ..but with you now asking to see me, is tomorrow ok? as I am busy this evening with work x’
‘I have the kids tomorrow but I will let you know if I can. Xx’ ✅
Mel- ‘Ok that’s fine x’
Mel- ‘Can I ask you back then an open question if someone asked me for ‘coffee’ or something would it bother you while we are not dating properly? (btw I never dated anyone at same time while seeing you when we was dating I’m just asking a question like you have) x’
‘I’m not and yes it bothers me but I have no right to try and put any pressure on you not to. I’m guessing you have? ’ ❌
M- ‘No I haven’t been. I haven’t dated anyone.I have been asked out on a random I didn’t go seeking it out and was asked out x
‘No it doesn’t bother me you got asked out I more thought you were saying you had been for coffee’ *_ ❌
Mel- Oh no I haven’t been, but I’ve been asked ..I didn’t know what to think yesterday when I got that text from you I know we are not ‘dating’ I know you said you seem to not know what you want x
‘ I just feel unfair on you that’s all xx’ ✅
I’m hoping the bold writing highlights what he’s saying is all about HIM, NOT YOU.
THE ✅ ❌ are where he’s put kisses xx or no xx kisses at end.
Where there are no kisses, again about him, he wants to know if you’re seeing someone else cause then he will look a dick if his mates found out and won’t boost his ego n he ain’t got time or want competition, so he needs to know.
Also if you were, your doing what he’s doing, so he ain’t got time or effort to work harder or want to look like a fool.
He doesn’t seem to ask you about you’re feelings or say something nice, except when you call him out, Make the situation Real, feelings, ect. Then he seems pretend to backtrack, give you a bit more rope to keep you hanging.
But I get ya cause I’m not you, I’m not feeling your emotions, analysing every min spent talking, seeing him, rereading every tx, every spare min.
But I’ve been you.
Trust me, you’re gonna get block loads if you are anything like me.
These posts all before me, keep them, copy n paste to word or get notebook journal.
Write down how ya feeling, cry, let your tears fall on the page you’re writing on.
Cause after you have done this a few times, you will reread how he made you feel and not want that feeling. Trust me this works.
Instead of reading his lies, remember good parts and it will make you a tiny bit stronger each time n you'll be able to start building that boundary wall you need.
Hope you take something positive from my LONG ESSAY
SOZ xx