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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Recovering from husband’s affair and the breakdown of our family

162 replies

AB10 · 29/01/2022 11:42

Hi everyone.
I apologise for the absence. The previous thread maxed out and I debated whether to start another but I feel like not only to miss your strength but it’s only right I update you all.
Well life is continuing. It is now been over 6 weeks since my husband ripped our family apart just before Christmas. I am still standing. My DS is still happy and life is continuing. But inside I am broken.
I still just cannot believe he treated us so cruelly and thought so little of our family.
The OW is out of the picture but he is still working in the same environment which of course is very difficult.
Not really any kind of resolution but how can there be? I am just left with so many whys and doubts and hurt.
I have mentioned divorce and he doesn’t want a divorce… 😢

OP posts:
beenwhereyouare · 13/02/2022 16:49

@AB10

He's done an awful thing to you. You are not at fault in any way- let go of that thought.

He did this when you'd had PND and it makes his affair even worse. He should have been helping you get through it. It's right there in the vows you took, and they weren't "In sickness and in health until it inconveniences me and I wreck our lives and abandon you for another woman."

No matter what you've decided to do, stop blaming yourself.

No judgement- I think we all just hope you and your child are okay. Maybe just a word from you to reassure us?
Flowers

curledupinaball · 13/02/2022 18:19

[quote beenwhereyouare]@AB10

He's done an awful thing to you. You are not at fault in any way- let go of that thought.

He did this when you'd had PND and it makes his affair even worse. He should have been helping you get through it. It's right there in the vows you took, and they weren't "In sickness and in health until it inconveniences me and I wreck our lives and abandon you for another woman."

No matter what you've decided to do, stop blaming yourself.

No judgement- I think we all just hope you and your child are okay. Maybe just a word from you to reassure us?
Flowers[/quote]
👆🏻👆🏻 really hope you're ok men are such bastards. I'm done, i'll never get this close to anyone ever again.

AB10 · 13/02/2022 20:26

Hi everyone. Sorry for the absence and thank you for your messages of kindness and care.
My DS and I are doing okay. My DS is happy and is looking forward to half term at home with his mummy (I am also off.)
Life in terms of marriage etc is still heartbreaking. It was ten years today that he proposed to me so today has been tough.
But we’re getting through and that’s the main thing.
So much hurt, deceit and selfishness but those are not my crosses to bear.
Hope you are all doing well?

OP posts:
MizzFizz · 13/02/2022 20:58

Sending some support your way, OP ❤️ no advice but wishing you a great half term with your wee one

MrsTrumpton · 21/02/2022 18:05

AB10 I've been wondering how are you and if you're doing okay. I hope that some of the hurt is easing and that your DS is doing well too. Flowers

AB10 · 31/12/2022 16:21

Hi everyone. I’m sorry that I never updated this thread because at the time you were all so kind and generous with your care and support.
I wish I was coming on to enlighten you all with how wonderful my life went when I kicked him to kerb but to my shame, I didn’t. I held off accepting him back into the family home until June - thinking that his apologies and ability to keep saying he wanted us to work showed honesty on his side. He moved back in and was utterly horrible to live with. Think still working with AP - denying they ever spoke - still telling me he didn’t really like me - I was just so down by this stage.
Thankfully, the OWs husband found messages between on Boxing Day and it transpired the affair had never ended. He was strong enough to share it with me and I told my family and my husband has left the family home. My DS is safe and well, I am down as far as my DH could push me but at least I am free from the hell of the last year.
Hoping for better things ahead for us all in 2023.

OP posts:
BakersYeast · 31/12/2022 16:27

Wishing you all the best @AB10 sometimes it just takes a while for it to really get there. Mine was the same - gave him another chance then he did the dirty on me. Things will be better in 2023!

ButterflyOil · 31/12/2022 16:35

What a bastard. Sorry that he managed to worm his way back in and hurt you.

I guess the one positive is you can hold your head up knowing you did absolutely all you could. Now you’ll never worry or wonder or have any regrets and what ifs.

I hope you have a wonderful, calm and healing 2023. ❤️

HazelBite · 31/12/2022 19:55

Oh OP, what a bummer!
Something very similar happened to a good friend of mine, her H came back and was vile to her for months, it turned out he was still with the OW and was just biding his time when it would be economically easier for him to ride off into the sunset with the OW.
Hope 2023 is better for you and your DS x

crosshatching · 31/12/2022 21:38

Big hugs OP, things will get better for you from here.

Wellitjustgetsworse · 31/12/2022 21:54

Hoping you have a much better 2023!!

Just goes to show your character and that the little feeling of doubt that many have when they think about leaving the first time you now have absolutely no doubts and can tell yourself you tried and ultimately he just wasn't good enough or worth the time of day.

I'm going through something similar now. Was there anything that made you think it was carrying on or any signs you could share? Such a dick and it coming out over Christmas time must have been so hard.

pumpkinsareshortlived · 31/12/2022 23:53

So sorry @AB10 my heart goes out to you. Have been in exactly same situation so feel your pain.

You will only know peace by ending it for good as he (and she) are just selfish cake eaters.

Go no contact, do the 180° anything to get through the first few weeks, months and onwards. Do not beat yourself up, it is his loss and you deserve so much more.

The pain goes eventually and the load lifts. You will come through this stronger, wiser and find happiness once more. Rooting for you to find some peace in 2023.

CantGetDecentNickname · 01/01/2023 19:24

Hi OP

No-one can blame you for trying and trying to do the best for your DS. Sorry it hasn't worked, but at least "D"H has gone now. Please don't ever entertain the idea of him coming back and well done for telling your family.

As a PP has said, go no contact as you no longer need to listen to anything he has to say. Set up an email he can use to discuss issues related to DS only. Ignore anything else he talks about - do not respond. Have agreed contact times and see if a friend or relative can do the handover to start with so you don't have to see him.

One step at at time and you can do this as you are much stronger than you think. You have put up with far too much already and are doing well. I hope 2023 is a much better year for you.

rockingbird · 01/01/2023 20:35

I'm so sorry, I remember this thread and was at a low point in my own marriage when I commented way back then. Sadly it's all so bloody predictable, words fail me how someone who's supposed to have your back can stoop so low and hurt you over and over again. Use the anger inside to fight your way through this. You deserve so much more and god knows you've tried to fix his mistakes! Sending love and strength your way x

Ladybugzrock · 01/01/2023 20:56

I remember your threads well.

Please don't feel any shame for giving him a chance. It is very hard to see clearly when you're traumatised and in shock. Pulling someone down from the pedestal you have them on is no easy task.

You now have the true measure of this man. A man who watched you going through hell and continued his affair. The AP is absolutely welcome to him, HE. WILL. NOT. CHANGE.

He will be as unsafe for his future partners as he has been for you. He is no prize.

2023 is your year, a year of firsts for you and your son, make it count, you've got this!

Flowers
billy1966 · 01/01/2023 21:08

So he was emotionally abusive while continuing the affair?

He is utter scum.

Thank god it is finally over for you.

You poor woman.

Spare your family and his nothing.

Tell them the full truth of his treatment of you.

He deserves no less.

You will get through this.

piedbeauty · 01/01/2023 22:01

What an absolute bastard. Op, massive hugs to you. You deserve so much better.

I hope 2023 gives you healing, acceptance and happiness.

AB10 · 02/01/2023 22:07

Thanks everyone. I just cannot believe that my reality has been distorted and manipulated for so long. My DH would actually break glasses in feign rage over the suggestion that he had spoken to the OW when in reality the affair had never stopped. Also they are maintaining that in their two year affair, they only kissed.
I cannot cope with the lies and the astonishingly baffling thing is each time either me or the OW’s husband finds out, the two cheats decide they don’t actually want to be together!

OP posts:
Canabelievethis · 02/01/2023 23:34

Why on earth, when he has shown you who he is, are you even bothering to waste another minute of your precious life thinking about this pathetic loser who insults your intelligence every time he opens his mouth? Kick him into touch OP please.

He has no interest in changing, why would he when he can cake eat away with no consequences?

The best thing you and OW's husband could do is to go no contact, make plans for divorce and start living your best life.

Blastmydogintospace · 02/01/2023 23:50

Emotionally and physically abusive whist in a false reconciliation.

He is utter scum.

Evil cunt.

Of course they didn't want to be together properly, too many losses for each of them.
Basically they are cowards and you lovely have been through the toughest time, one that they can't even comprehend.
Now is the time for their consequenses.

Flowers
Crazypaving22 · 03/01/2023 06:34

@AB10 oh honey, it makes me so angry thinking of what he put you through. The further manipulation and gaslighting for the last six months. Throwing glasses - what an idiot.

Of course they don't want to be together, this is why i get so riled up on other threads calling affairs love. It rarely is. It's so ego driven and the fun is in the deception and lying. It's now out in the open properly and affairs rarely survive daylight. So they're both scuttling to their hole of this isn't what we wanted!

Of course he is lying. That's a skill he's become really good at since starting this affair. Of course they haven't just kissed. Don't even allow your head to go to the idea of that being true.

You deserve better than this abusive awful man. The affair is just a symptom
of his utterly nasty character. You are worth so much more.

Flowers
AB10 · 03/01/2023 11:35

I know, I am completely traumatised and cannot believe that I allowed the continued gaslighting to happen. I have turned into a person I would have exclaimed at five years ago and thought why on earth are you putting up with this. Having your reality distorted is such a cruel
experience. It is now two Christmases marred by heartbreak and cruelty. I now can see how it easy it is to fall
prey to abuse when children are concerned. You find yourself putting them first and the abuser knows that.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 03/01/2023 12:08

Please be explicit with family.

He smashed glasses in rage and denial at this affair and emotionally abused me.

You do realise that smashing things is domestic violence?

You do realise this?

Spare your families nothing.

Let his family know the scum their reared, in the midst.

You poor woman.

Life can and will get better.

Coolheadedbird · 03/01/2023 14:17

You have done so well under such dreadful circumstances. A marriage can survive many things, but it takes two to tango and make that happen. I would like to remind you of a few things you should be grateful for:

  1. you have dipped some 10 years into his pension pot, which he'll have to halve
  2. he will have to pya you maintenance till your son is 18 3)he's bullshitting about 50/50, as he is the one in a full time job 4)keep evidence. When the time comes and your DS asks you why you could not stay with his dad and be a family, your man is likely to twist this. With the evidence, you can tell your son that you tried your best to stay with his dad after he cheated, but sadly, the dad would not change his ways as the affair seemed to matter more to him than being with the family. Trust me you will need this knife twist, as the arsehole will try and twist things and manipulate your child too against you.
  3. setting up home with a woman that's married and has got two young kids is ahem, a joke. They've got 3 kids between them. This is likely to play out like hell. During the week he'll have to put up with two annoying charges and on the weekends he'll have his own on to visit. Their sex life will go down. They will bicker. They will get bitter.

As a cherry on top, 50% of 1st marriages end in divorce. 75% of second marriages end in divorce. If a marriage is a product of an affair, that number goes right up to 90%.

If I can help with any advice, it would be to try not to let his actions influence your thoughts or actions. This is so difficult. Don't let him live rent free in your head. Get the money, look after your son, build connections with your family and friends. There is no going back to this abuse. Thankfully, he has made it that much easier.

Now, get a coffee, sit back and enjoy his life fall apart. His lover lady that shares her germs so freely with her lover boy and hubby will be struggling trying to keep her marriage together or not. In any case it's guaranteed to be bullshit and hell. Not love. But lust and that brings to the next phase: the 'cherry on top of the cherry' phase...

All dopamine reduces after 18 months in any relationship. The discovery could not have happened at a better time when their desire and sexual chemistry is on the down. That, accompanied by all the kids will kill it to the core.

Meanwhile, once dust settles and you raise your child, you will be in a much better space to find something worthwhile and find it you will. Because, for starters you have morals and clarity of wrong and right and what you don't want, which is the wankery lover boy putting the blame on you whilst he continues his little sordid affair. Nope. You now have a chance of meeting a real man. That's if you want to. You probably don't need anyone to complete you either, especially since you have your beloved DS.

Well done to you for escaping this chaos.

Canabelievethis · 03/01/2023 15:14

Coolheadedbird · 03/01/2023 14:17

You have done so well under such dreadful circumstances. A marriage can survive many things, but it takes two to tango and make that happen. I would like to remind you of a few things you should be grateful for:

  1. you have dipped some 10 years into his pension pot, which he'll have to halve
  2. he will have to pya you maintenance till your son is 18 3)he's bullshitting about 50/50, as he is the one in a full time job 4)keep evidence. When the time comes and your DS asks you why you could not stay with his dad and be a family, your man is likely to twist this. With the evidence, you can tell your son that you tried your best to stay with his dad after he cheated, but sadly, the dad would not change his ways as the affair seemed to matter more to him than being with the family. Trust me you will need this knife twist, as the arsehole will try and twist things and manipulate your child too against you.
  3. setting up home with a woman that's married and has got two young kids is ahem, a joke. They've got 3 kids between them. This is likely to play out like hell. During the week he'll have to put up with two annoying charges and on the weekends he'll have his own on to visit. Their sex life will go down. They will bicker. They will get bitter.

As a cherry on top, 50% of 1st marriages end in divorce. 75% of second marriages end in divorce. If a marriage is a product of an affair, that number goes right up to 90%.

If I can help with any advice, it would be to try not to let his actions influence your thoughts or actions. This is so difficult. Don't let him live rent free in your head. Get the money, look after your son, build connections with your family and friends. There is no going back to this abuse. Thankfully, he has made it that much easier.

Now, get a coffee, sit back and enjoy his life fall apart. His lover lady that shares her germs so freely with her lover boy and hubby will be struggling trying to keep her marriage together or not. In any case it's guaranteed to be bullshit and hell. Not love. But lust and that brings to the next phase: the 'cherry on top of the cherry' phase...

All dopamine reduces after 18 months in any relationship. The discovery could not have happened at a better time when their desire and sexual chemistry is on the down. That, accompanied by all the kids will kill it to the core.

Meanwhile, once dust settles and you raise your child, you will be in a much better space to find something worthwhile and find it you will. Because, for starters you have morals and clarity of wrong and right and what you don't want, which is the wankery lover boy putting the blame on you whilst he continues his little sordid affair. Nope. You now have a chance of meeting a real man. That's if you want to. You probably don't need anyone to complete you either, especially since you have your beloved DS.

Well done to you for escaping this chaos.

This 💪
Do not demean yourself by begging, playing the pick me dance or believe another of his bullshitty lies. He has led you on a song and dance with false reconciliation and by gaslighting. He thinks he holds the power and control - TAKE IT BACK and bring him down to earth.
Go no contact, do the 180° even if he is remaining in the home. Get on with your life, make plans with family and friends, just don't include him and play false happy families. Do not cook, cater or di all the things you no doubt do for him. Be independent and detached but with him monosyllabic. Ask nothing of him and gather yourself.

I know you are utterly heartbroken but find your anger. You do not deserve this abuse and cheating.