Dating Thread 224: Keeping it casual or searching for The One

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

I'll cut and paste the rules in a minute

ibelieveinmirrorballs
I had such intense feelings for my overseas crush I thought I was mentally ill
With hindsight , I was a bit !!!

PurpleStripyScarf
Let me reword in a more glass is half full way

His texts between date 1 and 2 have made me smile and think this is a person I like and could be friends with
Flirty enough , kind enough and on the wave length

Are you having to cancel France bella? What a bummer! Quel bummeur...😅

I don't suppose that means you'll be able to join the meet uppers on Saturday for a bit? Sounds like you're going to focus on DD, which is of course the right thing to do.

[quote BelladiMamma]**@dopple* @Badbaddog* personally I'd rather spare myself the mental load of 'stringing someone along' for whatever reason, and just shoot them a quick message along the lines of 'hey I don't see us as anything more than friends, been lovely chatting though'

Unless they're a dick in which case unmatch block delete repeat [/quote]
There was no mental load required in my case, he took up no space in my head at all. He wasn’t a horrible guy but not responding for 10 days to my breezy message after sex, then just being breezy yet seemingly entitled to more sex as and when he felt like it pissed me off. Simply being blocked or nicely told bye seemed too good for him, that’s all.

@Thisisworsethananticpated

ibelieveinmirrorballs I had such intense feelings for my overseas crush I thought I was mentally ill With hindsight , I was a bit !!!

Ive had one like that @Thisisworsethananticpated. Never met up but he was MrPerfect in my eyes. It’s when you meet them the sad reality becomes apparent 🤣🤣🙈

@Badbaddog I have to do that.. even things up 🤣🤣 it’s just a karma thing.

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Are you having to cancel France bella? What a bummer! Quel bummeur...😅

I don't suppose that means you'll be able to join the meet uppers on Saturday for a bit? Sounds like you're going to focus on DD, which is of course the right thing to do.

I am going to see how this week goes and if I can swing a few hours away pour le thread rendezvous mange tout crème de la menthe

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Are you having to cancel France bella? What a bummer! Quel bummeur...😅

I don't suppose that means you'll be able to join the meet uppers on Saturday for a bit? Sounds like you're going to focus on DD, which is of course the right thing to do.

Yes les français still require 14 days iso if you've had a close contact and Dad was having cancer treatment til last June so he would want to socially distance just meet up outside etc etc

@Thisisworsethananticpated his texts between the dates have not annoyed me once

For me, this would be incredibly high praise! Sounds promising!!!

He’s a total sweetheart
I feel like I can be me with him

Which is why I’m frantically trying to line up plan B C D in case if doesn’t work out as I’ll be so gutted !!!!

Mr Italy texted me with some annoying mansplaining and also telling me to demand money back from a tradesman for a dumb reason. He's seeming more and more like my demanding, controlling, and financially abusive ex!

I'm going to tell him that I don't think we are a match, but generally feeling a bit flat today as I can't imagine meeting anyone nice and compatible.

Something that keeps rolling around in my mind is that my horrible ex has managed to find someone who must believe he is a catch - and he will probably keep up the façade for a long time! I'm so worried that I will get swept up in something like that again (if I manage to get past the first couple of dates!)

gelatodipistacchio

You had your doubts abiut this one from day 1
So to be honest this is not a surprise

And it’s wasting your headspace mama !
Don’t doubt your feelings , exit and move on

@gelatodipistacchio I believe if you haven’t been burned before you don’t go into relationships looking for red flags.
Whereas those of us with tricky or downright horrendous relationship history are less likely to be swept away by the bullshit and have our eyes open for the red flags and unacceptable behaviours.
Your horrible ex will be found out again.

@gelatodipistacchio ma chi se ne frega si l'ex ha trovato una nuova vittima. Poverina lei ma adesso è tempo per la vita tua. E poi e presto primavera!

💐 💐 💐

@Thisisworsethananticpated you're definitely right!

I think that I am feeling negative because when I match with men they often don't answer. I'm certainly guilty of doing the same thing, but starting to feel that I am fundamentally unattractive to the men that interest me.

Obviously not a unique feeling, but also not a pleasant one!

What men interest you ? Send bullet list there must be some characteristics

Oh god @gelatodipistacchio that does sound annoying from Mr Italy. Why do they do this?

I’m also feeling very flat today. I’ve agreed to meet someone for a second date at the weekend but I just keep thinking what’s the point, he’ll just end up letting me down or being annoying or something! And I agree, the ones that I think I would be more compatible with never respond (or fizzle out). It’s hard to stay positive isn’t it.

@BelladiMamma

Si - poverina lei! A volte voglio avvisarla, ma so che sembrerei pazza! Ho bisogno di vivere la mia vita, come dici!

Grazie per queste parole

[quote ButterflyOfShay]@Badbaddog I have to do that.. even things up 🤣🤣 it’s just a karma thing.[/quote]
Exactly this @ButterflyOfShay.

Re: life post dry January, I went out last night and had one small, utterly blissful glass of wine, came home and watched TV with Diet Coke. No issues. It’s so exciting to even think I might have broken the habit!

Thank you!

[quote gelatodipistacchio]@BelladiMamma

Si - poverina lei! A volte voglio avvisarla, ma so che sembrerei pazza! Ho bisogno di vivere la mia vita, come dici!

Grazie per queste parole[/quote]
I had exactly the same reaction as this!!

Adesso ho capito che hanno una relazione tossica e hanno creato una vita di merda 💩 insieme ... so better that I'd kept my mouth shut!

💐💐💐

@Gettingonwithit12

Oh god *@gelatodipistacchio* that does sound annoying from Mr Italy. Why do they do this?

I’m also feeling very flat today. I’ve agreed to meet someone for a second date at the weekend but I just keep thinking what’s the point, he’ll just end up letting me down or being annoying or something! And I agree, the ones that I think I would be more compatible with never respond (or fizzle out). It’s hard to stay positive isn’t it.

My Middle Eastern guy was like this too. Laughed out loud when I finally went to his shitty, damp flat which had no external light but cos it was in Kensington cost him a small fortune ... realised I needed to stop listening to other people just cos they had a penis or cos we were having sex together and get the hell out of there and similar situations!

Love the idea of a bullet if things we like in men! For me its

• kindness
• friendliness
• not being an addict to anything (drink or drugs)
• a grafter
• positive mental attitude
• generous with me

Preferably dark hair and eyes yesSIR😍😍

I would add to that excellent list:

• steadfastness/dependability
• the ability to give and receive affection/support

Adding:

• doesn't take themselves too seriously but is serious about the things that matter: family, loving relationships and 4 legged friends 😁

Office is absolutely dead. Borrrring. Nice to have some time to message and catch up with pals though 🙂🙂