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Dating Thread 224: Keeping it casual or searching for The One

971 replies

WeWantTheFinestWines · 24/01/2022 17:37

I'll cut and paste the rules in a minute

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
VanGoghsDog · 31/01/2022 18:07

Horrible when things cause a trigger that you weren't expecting.

When MrWG stayed with me at my sister's, I took all the sexy dress up gear, as we'd have plenty of time. Though it turned out he was really tired but that was fine.
Anyway, one early evening he was falling asleep on the sofa, head back, snoring (I wasn't remotely bothered, he was tired, I was watching something, etc) so I suggested he go and have a lie down, he said he didn't need long, so I said I'd come and wake him in about half an hour.
Perfect time to get the sexy gear on!

I get all dressed up, stocking, body, crop.......go in, wake him up by tickling his nose with the feather end of my crop...... he's fine about being woken up, then sees me in my knee high boots etc and says "what's all this in aid of?"

Which I'm sure is a perfectly innocent phrase. But it's what my dad used to say when he'd decided I was doing something wrong. Even typing it has made me tearful. So it was really hard then to be in a playful vibe, and he has no idea how it made me feel (small, in the wrong, miserable, scared, etc).

I should have stopped and told him really. I just carried on but it wasn't a fun sexy session like it could have been, I felt from then like I was going through the motions and not having fun at all.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 31/01/2022 19:21

outdooryone

Shit happens . All we can do is be kind and honest about it , which I’m sure you will be

Thisisworsethananticpated · 31/01/2022 19:22

gelatodipistacchio
He might grow on you over the 2 weeks of time apart
And ,maybe not
But sounds like a good date Wink

Thisisworsethananticpated · 31/01/2022 19:27

BelladiMamma
My friend gave me a designer bag like that
They are so bloody heavy !!!
But I also found your story quite emotional too x

Thisisworsethananticpated · 31/01/2022 19:28

VanGoghsDog
You are one sexy woman ! And to do that at your sisters
Kudos

Heartbeats0708 · 31/01/2022 19:34

Flowers @VanGoghsDog
Awful how just one little phrase can completely kill the mood. Words can sting, I can vividly remember some of the things my exh said to me and it can still bring tears to my eyes.

Stayingstrongish · 31/01/2022 19:43

@VanGoghsDog like your style! I think his reaction was a bit unsexy anyway. Not how I’d expect a guy to react to that. And even worse as it set off memories for you of course. I’m sure you will find someone else who has a better reaction!

ButterflyOfShay · 31/01/2022 19:46

@BelladiMamma @VanGoghsDog Flowers for you both 💗

ButterflyOfShay · 31/01/2022 19:48

@ibelieveinmirrorballs

In other non-dating news I’m tentatively progressing with my half marathon training - did a 40 minute run yesterday morning along the seafront in the town my friend lives, which is also the town I always met MrM in as it’s halfway between us both. So spent yesterday morning listening to very loud music whilst running past what felt like every single bloody reminder of things we did, places we ate and stayed together, etc. was a bit painful but probably cathartic. Onwards!
I ran a 4k yesterday, pelted it but I’ve not run since last summer and I am feeling it today. Even my ribs hurt
WeWantTheFinestWines · 31/01/2022 19:48

What a heartbreaking post bella and in a different frame of mind you would surely just have asked Mr D to carry your bag and he would have been happy to do so. But in the mental space you were in, different story... Gorgeous bag, btw, love it!

I have no words for your fabulousness vangogh - I could never pull off sexy gear like that. But I can also be triggered by an innocent phrase uttered innocently by some innocent bugger who has no clue of my inner turmoil...

banghead yay! 😊😊😊

OP posts:
ButterflyOfShay · 31/01/2022 19:49

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Tall, broad, established child free men within 30 minutes of me, where art thou??

Maybe in the 30-60 mile range !!! Spread it wider 😂

Widen your areas 😂😂

(But of an old classic on here)

WeWantTheFinestWines · 31/01/2022 19:49

And well done to the dry Januaryers!!! 🎉🥳🎊👯‍♂️

OP posts:
ButterflyOfShay · 31/01/2022 19:51

On my lunchtime walk today I saw MrTurk, MrTruck, only needed to see MrTrainer to make it a hat-trick! Something about the sun being out to make one feel a bit flirty and frisky 😂

ButterflyOfShay · 31/01/2022 19:52

@WeWantTheFinestWines

And well done to the dry Januaryers!!! 🎉🥳🎊👯‍♂️
Thanks @WeWantTheFinestWines did you do it too? 🥛🥰🥰 congrats if so! X
ButterflyOfShay · 31/01/2022 19:53

@Bangheadhere40 most excellent update! 💘💘 very pleased for you lady 😻😻

ButterflyOfShay · 31/01/2022 19:54

[quote SortingItOut]@ButterflyOfShay Sorry missed your post in amongst the flurry of other ones.

I'm feeling great about Mr K 🙄 (rolling eye emoji because I'm fed up of my up and down😂).
Not sure if it was the fact I voiced my concerns to him and he's just lovely and rational, says he feels the same but we couldn't help not meeting much in January or because this week I should be seeing him twice - one of those being from about 5.30pm so lots of quality time or its because TOTM has arrived and I'm more rational (too be fair the negativity about Mr K usually arrives 10 days before and not a few days).

I also saw him yesterday doing his hobby, it was lovely to sit and chat for a few hours and see where he goes and what he does. It was great to see him so passionate and even though its not my thing I was a good girlfriend and showed interest and asked lots of questions 😇😂

What I have realised (again) is that I definitely need quality time with him if our relationship is to keep going.
I have counselling today so I'll chat to her about it all.[/quote]
That’s really cool, glad you feel so much better.. I really hate the PMT headfucking feelings I wish we could just switch them off or delete them 😭

WeWantTheFinestWines · 31/01/2022 19:55

Noooo shay I'd rather eat my own eyeballs!!!! 🤣🤣🤣 But well done to you lot 😊

OP posts:
ButterflyOfShay · 31/01/2022 19:57

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Noooo shay I'd rather eat my own eyeballs!!!! 🤣🤣🤣 But well done to you lot 😊
😬😬 fair dos, drinking is pretty yummy 🤣🤣
Eesha · 31/01/2022 20:31

@Bangheadhere40 really quite thrilled for you....

Bangheadhere40 · 31/01/2022 21:02

Thank you all 😊

gelatodipistacchio · 31/01/2022 21:39

I'm also super impressed by the Dry January success stories! Really amazing willpower and self care.

gelatodipistacchio · 31/01/2022 21:43

Mr Italy has texted "missing already your lips"

Ahhh I find anything remotely romantic so cringey. I honestly think I may be slightly ASD. This becomes more pronounced when I try to date.

ibelieveinmirrorballs · 31/01/2022 21:45

@gelatodipistacchio

Mr Italy has texted "missing already your lips"

Ahhh I find anything remotely romantic so cringey. I honestly think I may be slightly ASD. This becomes more pronounced when I try to date.

Hmm I don’t know about ASD… I think that IS a bit cringey. It’s too much! Or too obvious… or something.. Confused
gelatodipistacchio · 31/01/2022 21:54

@ibelieveinmirrorballs haha, maybe I should have separated those two ideas. It definitely is cringe. But I also struggle with all of this.

But also...it seems like it's fairly normal to sext and stuff, and I can't begin to imagine doing that

Thisisworsethananticpated · 31/01/2022 21:58

gelatodipistacchio

Hahahahajaj !
Say ‘which lips’
Or
Quello labri

That’s bad Italian sorry