Dating Thread 224: Keeping it casual or searching for The One

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

I'll cut and paste the rules in a minute

HR is one of the jobs I'd say was MOST likely to go back to the office. But in some ways it can be done remotely, it just probably won't be. It is, after all, people focused.

As I work on a government project for hybrid remote working and its future post pandemic, I've seen plenty of analysis and discussion on this.

On the plus side, senior HR roles are one that is most widely tipped not to be replaced by AI!

There are thousands of jobs that are remote, especially now. And, as I'm sure you know, you can ask for remote working as a reasonable adjustment. Not that an employer has to give it if it's not reasonable, just that it could be possible in numerous jobs for that reason on top of the fact many other jobs already are.

I didn't know you were already qualified, but that's not the point.

You said you literally could do no other job than HR. That is simply untrue. You're now bringing in other reasons - I want to; it's remote; I'm qualified. These are all valid reasons. But they don't make "it's literally the only thing I can do" true.

@VanGoghsDog if I wasn't qualified I wouldn't be able to say I'm an associate.

I remember Mr HR telling me that you can do HR remotely.

And employers do have to give you a reasonable adjustment if they know or have reason to know that you have a disability.

I have cerebral palsy, so that's visible. An employer would know I'm disabled when I walk in the room, as I walk with a limp.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards moat men on dating apps ask about work or studies because ots something easy to talk about when you know very little about the person. Its just an easy topic of conversation and they aren't looking to make fun of you or think any less of you because of a job or because of studies.

I had a massive career change because of an invisible disability and multiple surgeries which meant I couldn't do my old career and can never go back to it at the level I was. So many people have but you just seem really defensive when people comment that you aren't the only person these things have happened to

@Dancerinthemoonlight I'm sorry that happened to you ❤️

I never said that I was the only person that this had ever happened to, so I don't see how you jumped to that conclusion. People seem to pick up things I haven't said on these threads and it's unfair on me.

I just hate taking about it. It's just something I'm really embarrassed by. I know it's a discussion point on dating apps, but I just hate talking about my non attempts at a career.

The only person who understood is my ex, and as I've said, he's got his faults.

It's one of the reasons I'm anxious to date again. I just hate it.

I can't do my old career again. I know that.

Of course, because of my age, I think people expect me to have done more. It's depressing.

And I'm not defensive. I stand up for myself on here because I'm acutely aware of my capabilities and what I can do. It's just not the case that I can do anything. I wish it was, but it isn't.

Every day it's the same thing. I wake up, I ache a lot, I sleep.

I wish I could do the apps and say 'oh yes, I've got a really interesting job etc.' but I haven't. I can't. Not yet.

It's why I putting off dating. I just don't feel well enough.

My mum told me that if I do have fibromyalgia, that I'm fucked. I'm really scared.

And here we go again...

What do you hope to gain from this forum as you do not date, only get defensive @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

@Burnttoastagain2

What do you hope to gain from this forum as you do not date, only get defensive *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards*

I don't date because I'm unwell. I also had a bad time with my ex, but I do want someone to love me eventually.

I won't be a good date for anybody at the moment. I just want people to understand me, that's all I want.

And I'm not defensive, I stand up for myself. That's the difference.

But no one is responding. Start a thread about it.

Can anyone tell me how Hinge is? And good experiences?

I used to do old, but I don't feel able to at the moment.

@Burnttoastagain2

But no one is responding. Start a thread about it.

Can anyone tell me how Hinge is? And good experiences?

I have done, actually.

Hinge wasn't great for me, but that's probably due to my location.

@onwardseverstridingonwards you aren't fucked if you have fibromyalgia.
I am the same age as you and had a career
hnage so had to start at the bottom. There are plenty of people who go through their 20s not knowing what they want to do and then deciding what they want to do. There are plenty of people in their 30s and 40s going through career chmages for one reason or another. Its just soemthing that happens.
It's just another one of lifes curveball.
Try and focus on the things you can do and not the things you can't. Yes it sucks being in pain and it's very easy to get depressed/down because of it. There are so many things you can do.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards i meant it kindly, you only talk about yourself and your problems. Then get angry if the rare few reply.

@burnttoastagain2 I have used hinge before (not currently dating because of work but going to when I change companies)
I have found it more selective that bumble and tinder as you only get 6 likes a day. I have had 1 date from there. Some men don't fill out their profiles completely or just but blank pictures up to complete the profile. I think it all depends on location and age range (like most of the apps) as to the success of it.
The range/distance feature isn't that reliable as I would set it to 20 miles as a deal breaker and it would still show people 50+ miles away

@Dancerinthemoonlight it was my mum who said that. I told her not to say things like that.

Life just isn't fun at at the moment, and of course I'm still waiting to go to the doctor and see what's what. I just want answers.

That's why I'd be lousy company as a date at the moment. I just ache and feel tired all the time.

[quote Burnttoastagain2]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards i meant it kindly, you only talk about yourself and your problems. Then get angry if the rare few reply.[/quote]
Because I find Mumsnet a safe space where I can release I all my anxiety. And I don't have much going on. I'm waiting for a fibromyalgia diagnosis, so that's taking up all my headspace.

And I can't exactly talk about my invisible boyfriend, can I? 😂😂🤣

Yes, that's the thing with Hinge. Some people can have empty profiles,

The monthly subscription is quite reasonable, as I recall. Though it's been a while since I was on there, so it may have changed.

It's all up to you @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards but personally I think there's no shame in retraining- it's interesting to talk about and you're clearly passionate about HR. Like dancer said, it's just a talking point, not everyone is out to judge.
I was at the beginning of a scary health thing when I started dating and met Mr D. I was open in a 'btw this is happening' but didn't go on about it and to be honest, he was and is a lovely escape/distraction/positive influence on me and makes me feel "normal" for lack of a better word.
Course I have off days/weeks but it's important to me not to get consumed by them and in that vicious loop of negativity.

But you just argue here @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards or moan.