@Spinstermum
I don't like how some people assume things about me based on their 'imagination'. No, I never wanted to meet a man to marry so I can sit home not work and let him to do everything to take care of me. I have always worked full time my entire life! Never been on any benefits in my life. I was independent women doing everything myself! No man ever has been supporting me financially ever. It was always 50/50 partnership.
I know as much as I need to know about the legality of buying a house.
At this moment I'm torn between
- Stay in this house. Kids will have a nice place to live nice neighbourhood, good school, good friends to hang about, his family close by to help ect . In terms of protecting myself and kids I will sign all the documents needed to be sign. In terms of my feelings I'm gonna be living ad we were housemates single with no relationship knowing I will be single till the rest of my life not be able to create s new relationship with anyone .
- Sell the house. It will take ages. Split the money. The hole process will take bloody forever. It will cost money and time.
Start full time job. Send both kids to nursery. Including my little one who doesn't even walk yet and who always need his mummy but cries with any other perdon5 holding him. Get the nursery costs split between us me and him. Apply for a government place. It will take an ages. Then depends of the state of the flat or house get it refurbish. It will take ages . And money. Then move in to my own place with kids.
I will only move to the nice area with good school. No other option. But as far as I see there's no good schools with nice kids who are not bullies if u take a flat or house from the government unfortunately my friends have that! That's a fact in my town . Unless I will move out to another place far far away. I'm not being offensive or against single parents. Maybe in your areas are nice places to live. But not mine sorry!
I don't think anyone said you aren't providing.
You but haven't planned for your own long term financial stability. You bet it all on his promise of marriage and needing him to have a good financial future. Don't recall anyone saying you don't want to work either.
But you have taken no responsibility into securing yourself. You have assumed and expected him to do that.
They aren't your options and I can't even be arsed with the 'schools with bullies' and connection to single parents.
Dd went to one of the best schools in the county. Bullying happened. It happens in all schools.
You have written off single parents, low income families etc with no actual experience of it at all.
As I said before, those single parent families that look down on you......alot have more security than you do. Especially if in council houses. Plenty are in much better positions than you. You aren't any better or better off than they are. Just remember that when you judge them.
In the meantime he could leave you and you would still be in the same position.
How on earth do you work part rime if your child can't be separated from you or held by anyone else? That's surely an exaggeration?
If you worked full time in your job you wouldn't need to wait and refurbish a 'government place'.
Its clear, you want your life to remain the same. But married. That's not wrong.
But by doing that you are (again) deciding that marriage isn't a deal breaker. So don't pretend it is.
You believe he has lied to you and strung you along. Yet you will trust him even more and continue to bet your financial future on him. That's fine too. But it is a choice you are making. However it works out, it's been your choice.
It makes no sense to moan about it and then keep making the same choices.