i don`t think i can take this much longer

[mummyofaprincess]

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

I really think he is thick as well. Or possibly just batshit crazy...... I'm not sure which.

How could he not understand why your family are angry at him? How could he think that he could be seen as a good person or a loving father after the stunt he had pulled? If you were my daughter I would have beaten him within an inch of his life by now. He would need an expensive plastic surgeon to sort out what was left of his face. (My Italian - American New York upbringing language coming out a bit there )

Most people would feel that way towards someone who abandoned their pregnant daughter.

His rotten attitude would not go down well in my family at all. Not at all. He would have to crawl under a rock and hide.

By the way Moap if I am ever in your situation (my dh is a tosser so it wouldn't surprise me) I hope I could be as poised and dignified as you! .

My ex was the same. He didn't like being challenged (still doesn't!). He didn't like it when I picked myself up and got on with my life, he preferred it when I was crying all the time and begging him to come back.
I'm OK thanks for asking. XP collected all his stuff today. He's sorry, tried to talk me round but I wouldn't have it. He said he's going to work away again in 2 weeks and if there's no future for us he'll stay away.
Emotional blackmail - bring it on!!!

Im glad your ok ive also had the emotional blackmail, i just try and ignore it now.

He said that his mom and dad also wanted to see DD today and im also stopping them not just him, so i said i called her the other day and she said she was going to pop down but never called back. i also said im not stopping them they know where i live i`m also just a call away...

They did call earlier and am coming tomorrow to see Dd!

"My ex was the same. He didn't like being challenged (still doesn't!). He didn't like it when I picked myself up and got on with my life, he preferred it when I was crying all the time and begging him to come back."

Gosh, this sounds ever so familiar.....do you think they breed groups of these obnoxious men somewhere specially?

Yes - they are mass produced in the wanker factory!!!

i have only asked him back twice that was in the first week, i will never ask him back again.

I felt i was wasting my breath as he looked me in the eyes and said no twice and said he loved her etc etc so i knew where i stood

at ginnedupudding

How can a (supposedly) grown man be in love with a 17 year old girl? I suspect what he means is 'infatuated'. And believe you me, that wears off pretty damn quick.

Again i do feel really sorry for you and in no way should this girl be defended for what she has done but i don't think it is helpful for people to say omg how can he be in love with someone that is only 17 and give someone what could be false hope that it is definitely not going to last. you don't know that! i know loads of 16-19 year old girls who have gone out with older men with kids and everythings going great. admittedly none of them were married at the time though.

Sorry but any guy over the age of 20 who hooks up with a 17 year old is just nasty. That's not love it's some sick lolita fantasy.

When I was 26 there was no way I would have even looked at someone age 20 or younger.

really? i disagree. what's 4 years? nothing!

But this isn't 4 years in this case its 9 years. A 17 year old girl is barely out of school whereas a 26 year old man with a 3 year old and a baby on the way should show more maturity.
My ex is 8 years older than me, but I'm 37. If he'd known me at 17 he wouldn't have looked twice at me as we were poles apart then in every way (I was gorgeous back then and would have considered him far too old)

well i went out with a 26 yo when i was 16, my friend went out with a 21 yo and my 9 yo friend is with a 30 something yo. i agree it's unusual but not completely out of the ordinary.

oops 19 not 9.

Well hes going to have to tell his dcs when there old enough to understand what really happend!!

He should know better, he put people down who did this to there familys yet he`s no better!!

I dont care if they stay together, thats not my concern, my dcs are...

sorry if that sounded bitchy but i dont want him back, he and her can stay together forever... yes i miss him and yes i still love him but i know we could never get back together now as i know he could do this again and again and im worth much more then that

I am so sorry for you. Im 22 now and My ex threw me and our son out of our home 3 years ago coz he wanted a bit of blonde. I thought i couldnt cope with the heartbreak! though im still single now im much happier than my ex: i have our beautifull little boy with me witch gives me so much joy and all that my ex has is a dozen failed relationships inder hid belt. the 17 year old bint wont last, they never do love! hope ur ok xx

tbh your dc's will probably just accept it. your dd is old enough to resent him for it cos she doesn't understand. she will only resent him if when she is older he doesn't see her etc. i know i didn't resent my dad for leaving my mum for the same thing when i was a baby. it was just what happened to me. what i did resent was the broken promises. so as long as he doesn't start breaking promises i don't think you need to worry about your dd and new baby when it comes along. chin up love

mummyloulou i`m so glad that you got through it and your happy.

I know its still early days for me but i know i`m a stronger person now.

I dont know what hes going to be like in the future i really wish i did, i hope he never lets the dcs down and i hope he doesnt promise anything he can`t keep

Im off to bed now ill be on tomorrow, night everyone x

ADDICTED this is probably not the thread to be flying the flag for younger lasses getting together with older men relationships really, is it? Have a wee bit of sensitivity eh.

Hope you slept well MOAP. DS is going through a phase of night waking atm....soo tiring!

Message withdrawn

Good post mellowma.

Why don't these selfish men think of the pain they cause?

All of you dealing with this have my utmost admiration, really and truly.

i did say i wasn't defending the girl. earlier on she said she would probably take him back and i didn't think it was very helpful to give her false hope of him coming back to her when he may well not finish with this other girl.

hi everyone

Well my door went at 9.15 this morning i had only just woken up and it was xp.
He came because he needed his documents for his car to tax it, i was so [fshocked] as he can turn up for something for him but he couldn`t be bothered to come and sort out DD yesterday!!!

Well his mom and dad was coming at 10 so he stayed till about 1015 and then left saying that he will call me tomorrow.

I did get to talk to him in private as my sister was here and she sat with DD while i spoke to him, i told him my concerns.
He told me he was so upset yesterday when i wouldnt let him have DD, hes trying to blame me when its his own fault he couldn`t be bothered to turn up to talk!

He also dropped the hint again that i wanted him to come yesterday for some other reason i put him straight but some how i don`t think he believes me. He must have a huge ego!

Janos i bet that must be so hard to deal with, my DD wakes up in the night every night now since he left, she sometimes just crys out and i go in and put her music on to settle her (shes had it since she was a baby )

mellowma how have you been, hope everythings been ok and you had a nice xmas

He does have a ego!! Oh yeah, men who abandon their kids and responsibilities are just soooooo attractive. [hmmm] Sounds like his little ho is a little insecure ho as well.

Here you are trying to talk to him about the fact that your DD is an emotional wreck thanks to him and he acts like you are trying to seduce him. LOL. Freaking dumbass. LOL.

I'd tell him that you find him repulsive and don't want to interact with him except to talk about DD. I'd love to have a freaking reality check chat with guys like him.