i don`t think i can take this much longer

[mummyofaprincess]

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

thank you both

I will right some points down as i know ill forget what im saying if he`s shouting at me down the phone.

He will throw in that im stopping him seeing DD and that isnt true, i want him to see DD as much as he can for DD not me!

He doesn`t get this, she is only 3 years old ffs! DD has had him in her life for 3 years and all this has come as a shock to her and she has picked up on all this, the other day i went out to the cinema and my step mom and dad was looking after DD and when they put her to bed she was crying for me asking wheres mummy, they told me straight away.

DD does know whats going on in her own way, and she is very confused

its ok AnneMayesR don`t worry about it your not being nasty at all

You bet she is upset, Poor little thing. That is not your fault at all.

I'm probably sounding very ranty as well, it's that I'm so very at this "man's" callous behaviour towards you and your DD.

You really do sound like a great mum who is trying to do your very best. I for one am amazed at your strength.

i am trying so hard to try and get whats best for DD.

I know that this isn`t the best time for him to be having DD over night.

She is so very confused about all this.

All he cares about now is himself, i`m sure if this was the other way round he would also be the same!

He can`t see that i am doing the right thing for our DD.

DD stats nursery in 2 weeks time so he cant just text and say im coming to see DD is that ok?

He needs to start thing who comes first here!

He may have plans for tomorrow but i`m sure he could spare half an hour to talk about whats going to happen from now on.

If he doesn`t want to see DD in my home then he can take her out to the park down the road with her new bike.

Theres plenty of things that he could do to make this situation better but he hasn`t

Hes well and truely turned his back on his family and he is only out for himself now and it shows only to well

You are absolutely right MOAP. You are doing the right thing, looking after your DD and yourself (And your new baby of course).

I have to go to bed now as DS will be up bright and early, raring to go, so I need to get some sleep.

Thinking of you.

im off to bed aswell otherwise ill be ranting on all night.

Have a nice sleep janos x

I am hoping you are having a good day MoaP. Sending you positive vibes in hopes that it helps!!

Hi MOAP.
Hope you have a better day today.
(((((hugs)))))

Thinking of you MOAP. Hope things are going ok x

MOAP.. i've been following your threads and i just wanted to tell you how sorry i am that he's being such an ass towards you.

you're coping wonderfully and should be proud of yourself.

Hi everyone

Well he didn`t turn up at 11 like i had asked and he called at 11.40 to ask if he could still have DD.

I tried to explain to him that he should have come at 11 like i asked to talk about DD and what was going to happen.

He said to me that we agreed and that i was going back on my word and that i`m stopping him seeing DD etc etc

He couldnt understand that he cant just see her on tuesday for a few hours then not call or text till the night before to say is it still ok to have DD over night!

If he would have come at 11 then we could have talked about the way he`s being.

Well he did shout down the phone at me and its nothing more then i expected to be honest.

He ran out of credit so i called him back to say yes im going out shopping but when i get back hesd more then welcome to come and see DD, he said no!! i wanted her over night i`ll call you tomorrow as i want DD over night on wednesday my day off.

My day hasn`t been to bad i do feel really bad and think this is all my fault!!

Wow, well done you MOAP for standing your ground!

If he stopped to think for a minute (prob not as he doesn't sound capable )he'd realise that his behaviour is unreasonable.

Sorry you're feeling bad though. You've got no reason to feel bad on his account.

What a total dickweed for shouting down the phone at a pregnant woman!!

Good for you for standing your ground.

He left. Not You.

He abandoned the family. Not You.

He got obsessed with a worthless cow who is not safe to be around your kid. Not You.

He is causing your child to cry and feel abandoned. Not You.

Then he wants to bitch and moan because he can't see DD whenever he wants to waltz in? What. A. Moron.

He created this situation!! Let him deal with it. Too bad he obviously cannot deal with it like a man.

Well i asked him why he didn`t come at 11 he said he was asleep and he had only just got up i said to him so sleeps more important them your DD he said well some of us do work!!!
I said so you leave me with a 3 year old DD and a 6 month bump and you expect me to get a job straight away!!!! all he said to that was no.

I did say to him stop shouting at me i am the mother to your children!

He even started saying that my family was turning me against him

I also had him asking me why i wanted him to come around with DD here, i said to talk and incase we got nasty DD wouldn`t be around to see it!

He was trying to make out that i wanted to see him on his own for some other reason

He doesnt understand what he is doing is wrong and until he does this isnt going to get any better.

"He created this situation!! Let him deal with it"

Exactly. It's HIS fault.

"Well i asked him why he didn`t come at 11 he said he was asleep and he had only just got up i said to him so sleeps more important them your DD he said well some of us do work!!!"

LOL. I work full time and I'm a single mum, I don't lie in bed til past 11 even when my DS is with XP.

I reckon he's panicking and scared because:-

a) he's realised he's not going to get everything his own way and you hold the cards here/

b) the reality of his situation is kicking in.

So your family are turning you againt him? Thought he'd managed that all by his daft wee self.

I totally agree with AnneMayesR.
I thought yesterday he said he had things to do this morning
He's a twat. He can't accept responsibility for his own actions and is even blaming your family now. Unbelievable.
And as if you would want to get him on his own for any other reason than to talk about dd. Maybe he thought you would pounce on him and try to seduce him
Good girl for sticking up for yourself - I'm proud of you!

I've just had a thought - is it possible that OW is feeling insecure and wouldn't let him come to see you on your own without dd?
Maybe the garden is not quite so rosy in adultery-land!!!

It was an excuse he didnt want to come here as i think he felt that he would be giving in to me (which isnt the case this isn`t about point scoring)

When he calls tomorrow i will ask him to pop down for two reasons

a) to sort this out, before i hand my DD over for an over night stay, as i know if he took me to court he can have DD once every 2 weeks over night

b) to get the money off him that we agreed (which i shouldn`t have to ask for

If he doesn`t then i will take the next steps which involve him not having her over night at all.

He needs to prove to me that he can be reliable, and i need to know i can trust him 100%

IMO if he's not prepared to pay for his dd's upkeep then he doesn't have any rights to see her, especially not overnight. It works both ways, why should he get all the enjoyable parts of being a parent yet not put his hands in his pocket for her.
What a selfish git.

ginnedupudding, he did say he was busy so i didn`t get that myself!

He wishes! i would never pounce on him now LOL

How are you today, are things getting better?

He does want everything his way

On the phone he said i thought we was friends now he must leave in a world were everything is rosy and that what he has done hasn`t hurted or affected his family in any way.

He needs to stop dreaming and wake up!!

He must indeed if he thinks you can be friends after the way he has behaved. Honestly, is he COMPLETELY thick or what?

I'm beginning to think so...

I begginning to think when he walked out the door he also forgot to take his brain with him!!

I think he wants me to be a complete mess and bow down to his every word.

I think he does as well. I also think the fact you aren't behaving like that must be very unsettling for him.

Don't go mistaking that for sympathy towards him btw