i don`t think i can take this much longer

[mummyofaprincess]

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

LOL. We could smack him around like the little biatch he is..and let OW watch her boyfriend get smacked down by a couple of women and whilst begging for mercy and crying. She wouldn't be seen with him after that.

Ah it's a pleasant thought anyway.

I'm not these nasty in real life I swear. I certainly don't go around fist fighting and wouldn't.

I am going to have to stay off these boards I think. I am starting to develop a real dislike for men in general. I used to just dislike my DH...but the feeling is growing to include all of them. Some of these threads are so

I have seen some horrible women do some really bad things to the nicest men...I'll just focus on that.

I think he fails to realise that i wont be a SAHM forever!

I have already had the "i work will you sit at home getting paid to do nothing"

I do love being a SAHM but there is so many things i also want to do, which includes college, learning to drive, part time or full time teaching assitant.

I have a totally different life now, i can see what i want from my future, i know non of this is going to be easy for me, but i will try so hard to achive them

My life before was so different:

i never used to go out on my own.

I would have hated to be in a situation where i had to talk to new people.

I used to HATE using the phone.

I never paid a single bill, as xp had full control of the money we had.

I never went shopping for anything for me, it was always for DD or him.

I look at all the above and think how sad my life really was before!

Ginnedup i have been reading what you have been going through these past few days and i really do feel for you, i do think you are doing the right thing for yourself and your DCs it is so hard though

Am I missing something here?
YOU were his partner, the MOTHER of his childern, HE has gone off with some child (yes 17 is NOT a grown woman) SHE had broken up someone's family because her legs open fasted then a six pack at a wino convention and HE calls YOU a slapper!!!!

Your a better woman then me I would have decked the tosser by now.

You are worth so much more.

gup and amr you have both made me laugh thanks

I`m having a better day today, and you two have made it much better with the above posts

Kimi i would love to smack him one, but just can`t bring myself to do it.

Mind you if i did i`m sure he would be down to the police station faster then he has ever moved before!

MOAP I think (although it may not seem like it now) in a year or two you will be someone else,I bet you meet someone lovely and have a great life while he will wake up one day to find his bint has gone and got a younger man, she will tire of him I can assure you, its all loved up big adventure now but when real life kicks in, bills rows, not having money to go/do as they please she will go get her grubby little claws in to some other weak little man.

He will see what he had and what he lost, and he will have to watch you be a family without him.
Yes you will always miss the man he was but I think you can see the person (not man) he is now and you know he is not worth your love of any pain.

You will be fine, he on the other hand well...What goes around comes around.

Kimi thank you, i think you got it all in one there

Dark night, alleyway, posse of mumsnetters..................

"legs opened faster than a six pack at a wino convention"

OMG laughing my ass off that is so funny.

If that OW was my daughter she would be in boarding school in alaska right now.

"If that OW was my daughter she would be in boarding school in alaska right now."

AnneMayesr and Kimi I just LOVE your straight talking style!

hi janos

I also love there style

Good to see you MOAP. How are you doing today?

Honestly, your ex will get his...what goes aroumd comes around, I really believe that.

Which means YOU are in for a whole heap of good stuff

i`m good thank you, you?

DD is still awake though, and refusing to go to sleep, she`s very tired though

Im glad shes on afternoons otherwise i wouldn`t get up lol

I know this is because of everything that has happend, i`m sure she will grow out of it soon (fingers crossed)

I bet she will MOAP - 3 is a great age for phases, or so I'm finding!

Am good - just been asked for a drink by a stunningly atrractive man on POF! What an ego boost, LOL.

sorry to sound thick now but what is POF? I have my thick moments lol it might just be because i`m tired

Oh sorry MOAP its a dating site...Plenty of Fish.

I severely doubt anything will come of it but still very flattering!

One trick I use with DS when he doesn't want to go to sleep...I tell him that if he lies under the duvet and cuddles his toys really tight then he will have an exciting adventure.

I guess it's kind of true

sounds like ur doing well

ur DCs will love u for always being there for them and providing them with love & stability

my DS (5.5) knows I am going to buy exH out of the house and knows that we will not have lots of money left over for luxuries BUT he knows it will be our house and he is happy & secure with this.
children are very adaptable and my best advice to you is always be nice about ur ex and even his GF - this way the children dont feel threatened or feel they have to lie and more importantly, are free to see the truth in the end

you are doing so well!

janos dd`s asleep YAY! I told her to cuddle her teddy to get him to sleep and she fell asleep straight away thank you

mistressmiggins i haven`t spoken about daddy bad at all, i must be doing well lol

I havent spoken about his GF yet as i do think its a bit soon even though they have moved in together, i will have to soon enough though as i know he will want DD at his house with him and her, I dont know how this will work with LO though

Im so glad you are buying him out, i bet he knows what hes missing out on now though doesnt he, Hes still with OW isn`t he? I wonder if the grass was greener

I`m glad your happy now though, and i hope i also get myself a lovely DP in the future

hi everyone

XP came today he said yesterday that he would come today for a couple of hours, and guess what he stopped for a couple of hours dead on!!

He said he only knows of one day off next week and thats monday he said he will come and see DD for a few hours.

I`m finding this so hard right now

He never ever mentions the bump at all, even though im so big now, he doesnt even look at my bump, and i know most men ain`t interested in bumps/babies but he was so thrilled with everything when i was carrying DD, this change in him is so hard to take

I am having an ok day but i am finding things a bit hard at the moment, i`ve only got 12 weeks to go now, and i am feeling a bit worried about having two small chilren on my own.

Me and xp didnt talk much at all, he did say that he wanted to have DD over night at his new house soon, and i know if we went to court i wouldnt have a leg to stand on, i said and what about the baby he said lets see how things are with the baby, the baby might not take to me

Why do you think you wouldn't have a leg to stand on in court? I think you might.

You wouldn't have a leg to stand on if your were trying to stop him from seeing DD altogether and he was paying child support.

But stopping him from having her overnight at his house is not the same as stopping him from seeing her. If he really wants to see her he will do it even if he has to do it supervised.

Is their house toddler-proof? Is it safe? Do you know anything about the strangers (who are very young) that he is living with? All it takes is one dumb 17 year old leaving their ectasy tablets lying out and about. Non-parents do not see the dangers that we see. Non-humans like your ex just don't see. 17 year olds are children themselves who cannot differentiate between a child and a doll.

You have said in the past that he has not had your daughter on his own before for very long and wasn't very good at it when he did have her.

He has shown a lot of impatience and had verbally abusive rages towards you and others. He has ? supplied alcohol to minors. He has not been a great father since he left and has neglected to pay regular decent maintenance.

I would emphasize the fact that you do want DD to see her father and that you do want him to see her.

We know you understand that it is best for your little girl to see her dad.

But I would also emphasize the safety issues to your solicitor regarding ex having DD in his new home overnight.

Emphasize the fact that the brats he is living with are complete strangers to you and that you have no idea whether or not they are safe around a young child. You do know that they are definitely NOT shining examples of purity, grace, maturity, patience and ethical living.

The courts do not want to risk a child's safety and do anything that will come back to bite them in the ass later, especially concerning young children. I don't think anyone would be comfortable with a 3 year old spending time overnight in the Slutface Central /Fucktwits 'R' Us Party House.

As always put all of your concerns in writing. If you fail in all this at least you made your concerns known. It shows that you are the one thinking of your child's safety.

Skank and Wank can try to tell people that they have done nothing wrong and are respectable people until they are blue in the face.

No one with a brain will buy it. Just being with one woman while you have another woman pregnant is a BIG no no if you want decent people to take you seriously. No well educated professional person would see the two of them as anything but a fucking disgrace.

The family courts can read guys like your ex partner like the back of their hands. My dad is a judge. They can see through the bullshit. Unfortunately his kind of behaviour and the denial of any wrongdoing are all too common. They see it all the time.

As always you have my permission to print this message out and post it and/or nail it to his forehead.

AMR thank you, i`m so glad you put all that down, it all makes so much sense.

I just wasn`t looking at it that way.

I havent seen there home and he hasnt told me his address yet (need it for some bills and school things)

I haven`t got a clue if its safe.

I dont know anything about the girls hes living with, never spoken to any of them not even a hello

I don`t think i will ever trust him to have DD over night, and its really sad to be honest as he is her daddy

Theres a few things that has got to be today:

Her xp has been calling her and xp has said to block his calls via there network and the police she hasn`t and its winding him up so much.

He`s been calling xp so he did blocked the calls etc

Her xp wants her back i think, he`s 17 aswell

Well the point i`m trying to get across here is that xp is saying he will batter him etc if he ever went to hit him etc, well xp has always said things like that but this chap is only 17 a child!!!

He was also saying that she is so happy and that she`s found the one (is she blind???)

I just don`t know what he is turning into.

He was pale, hes lost loads of weight and he wasnt fat at all before anyway.

He doesnt know when he is going to buy anything for this baby, even though he said he would (so ill do it all myself i don`t need him anyway)

I have really given up on him now, i thought he might be a little bit sorry but he isn`t and all i wanted to do when he was here was cry my eyes out.

How can someone change so much like that, he did look happy today and when he called yesterday he was so happy on the phone aswell.

Thank god he didn`t try and hug me on the way out!!

"How can someone change so much like that, he did look happy today and when he called yesterday he was so happy on the phone aswell"

Nervous breakdown. I think the stress of having and supporting a family caused a nervous breakdown and he is reverting to a child like state. I think he needs counselling or something to be honest. Not to excuse his behaviour but all is not well upstairs with him.

Add the fact that he is threatening to batter a 17 year old to you list as to why that house is unsafe.

I would sarcastically say (or text) "oh yeah I know how if feels to want to batter someone when they move in on the love of your life...believe me it is way worse if you are pregnant and have a 6 year history together. Its way worse when they hurt your babies to feel hurt. But if I can control myself so can you. Grow Up"

He really is reverting to be a teenager again and he does need to grow up.

I was thinking along the same lines to be honest.

"all is not well upstairs with him" definitely not!!!

I also think she likes winding him up about her xp otherwise she would have blocked his number from calling her, bit weird i think!!

Maybe she`s just an attention seeker, who knows

Well DD slept all the way through last night so i also had a good nights sleep