i don`t think i can take this much longer

[mummyofaprincess]

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

I think it best to retain anonymity on here. I don't think you should try to find out who her ex partner is, nor should you try to sabotage him at work. It's just wrong.

I keep up with the threads of MOAP and I don't recall any abuse. Thoughtless, yes. Immature, yes. Irresponsible, yes.

MOAP has been doing a great job of being the sensible, responsible parent. Very dignified and can hold her head high.

hansie you say you keep up with treads. Did you actually read my last one? And i just wondered what you think calling someone a slapper and a tart. And leaving the mother of your children twenty quid a week when you earn over twice that in half a day? I respect her privacy and just wanted to let her know that this guy is pulling the wool out of her eyes. Dont need to get at him through his work at a very personal level. The figures she need to go to csa are nationwide. He is abusing his position at work and it is completly frowned upon.yes she is a very brave dignified lady but when she needs food on her table and he is not helping. Or if he gets more abusive the help is there. That is all i am saying

Morning MOAP - how are you this horrible wet morning. My email address is [email protected]. Hope you are feeling more positive - keep your head high and smile!

Mehdismummy - revenge is all very well, but don't the CSA decide how much he is to pay? They can't after all rely on the xwife knowing dh's finances. I bet it's more than £20 a week tho. Especially when the gf is self-sufficient with no dependants.
Personnally, re revenge, I would report the howling dog to the RSPCA, (it's cruel to keep a dog in the house all day alone, let alone in a shed) and I would def. write down any verbal abuse I got from dp. Name-calling is not on. Turning up late for contact is not on.
At the end of the day the twat is nothing to MoaP any more, but he is a father, and therefore has responsiblities. He doesn't have a leg to stand on, MoaP, calling you names and questioning what you are doing. He has no responsibility to you anymore and whether the relationship with gf breaks down or not, is not important to you.

I am feeling much better today thank you

I don`t want revenge at all, i think what ever happens from now on will happen for a reason and not because i have caused it.

mehdismummy thank you for the offer but i think i am doing o.k, i`m sure the csa will sort it out for me

I just want xp to see what hes missing out on with DD and LO but im not going to call him or text him to see when he will see DD next, theres no point.

I do think things happen for a reason, i haven`t got a clue why this has happend to me though maybe theres something good about to happen in my life, might be waiting for a while yet though lol

hi glad you feeling more positive. I think i may have given the wrong impression. Just wanted to let you know that if you need help to give info to csa just ask. They did ask ex partner of my friend and she told them more than he was on. It took him ages to sort out. My sister has recently got married to a wonderful man who adores her. But before that her first dd dad left her under the same circumstances as you. She was the same age as you. Her ds dad knocked her self confidence so badly she became bullimic. She left him and met her now dh. So beautiful lady. There is a man out there who will love you. Cherish you and dc and who will mend your broken heart. You will look back and think omg what was i doing? Yes hes your babys father. But he is not the one. He will come sweetheart and you will be knocked off your feet. Be strong.you are a wonderful mummy. You can do better

thank you mehdismummy

Well ive just spoken to xps mom and she told me that he had brought her round to there home without asking they just both walked in, his excuse was that she was missing the dog

His mom said she looks like a child

I don`t know why she told me, and he is still telling his mom that she has never stopped at theres, and i have told them that she has!

She said she can see through his lies anyway.

Well xp has moved in now and didn`t go back to his mom and dads last night, he took the dog aswell yesterday.

I dont think i will see xp much at all now, which for me is a good thing but for DD it isnt

I need to stop hearing things about xp now, they dont suprise me much anymore to be honest, he is an idiot and always will be in my eyes, my children will have to learn that there daddy isnt going to be there for them, and its me who will have to pick up the pieces when he lets them down

Hi MOAP, i posted yesterday, but not sure if you saw? You are doing so well, as everyone has said you seem to be getting stronger everyday. I think you're doing all the right things.

Hi gardenshrub i did see it thank you so much, i hope my DCs grow up to see how much i went through to see them happy like you

they will just know that they have a wonderful special mummy who did everything for them. Anybody can be a dad but it takes a real man to be a father. Until that man comes along you deserve. You are strong enough to be both. Good luck babe

thank you it does mean alot to me

Well after that conversation with his mom earlier it has made me feel a bit low, i really hate xp for all he has done to us

Maybe i need to just block all thoughts of him out my mind, but it is hard as DD has mentioned daddy staying at home with mummy again before school, and also that daddy is so much fun.

I really feel for DD yet theres nothing i can do is there?

that is exactly what you need to do hun. Of course its gonna hurt babe especially as you have constant reminders around you. It will get easier i promise you. He is not worth it. At all. You will survive this. You will come out of this stronger and he when he finally starts to think with his brain and not his penis will kick himself everyday for losing a wonderful woman and mother of his children for a ego boost. As i said before she is not interested in him. Just what she can get because of his job. Come on how many seventeen year old do you know that wanna settle down with a man who already has kids. But surely in her tiny little mind she must realise that if he is prepared to walk out on the mother of his kids. What thought we have for he. He will be a sad balding twat sat in a pub on his own when he is 40. You however my darling will be a happily married lady with a husband and children who adore you. Thank your lucky stars you found out now what a twat he is. Instead of finding out when its too late. Please keep in contact.

when DD came out from school she looked upset again she didnt even want to say hello to me, she said wheres daddy is he at home mommy, i said hes not at our home he lives in his own home now and she looked at the floor.

I said to her come on now its time to go home, she said can i see daddy when i get home, i said not today i`m sorry another day, DD said ok in a quite voice.

I really wished now that i had said no to him seeing her yesterday, she is so upset now and theres nothing i can do, i tell her all the time that mommy and daddy both love her very very much.

I feel so sad for her, i just wanted to cry when she asked for him.

I think i will stop contact before school from now on as this is affecting DD very badly.

I will have to set times with him (when he does want to see DD) after school so that he doesn`t drop DD to school, or pick her up as this is confusing her so much.

I think she misses us all together
How could he have done this to DD, he walked out on me fair enough but why put DD through all this hurt?

because he is a prick. Sorry babe but he is. Yes stop the morning contact. Set up visits at the same time same day every week. Go and see solicitor. Arrange proper access dates so he has to stick to them. And before you hear him say about his work. He can talk to his manager and get the same time off each week. you are not to blame for this. He is. Of course she is gonna ask questions its normal. Just sit down with her and say that mummy doesnt live with daddy anymore but that does not mean you dont love her. Explain what days she will see him. Be brave. Do you need my number or email so if you need to chat you can. Do i live near you? I live north london

I am so sorry for your little girl. Don't walk to the solicitor......RUN there!!

He doesn't have a leg to stand on. Everything is his fault.

I have no doubt that you are a lovely sweet girl with a good head on her shoulders. But even if you weren't...he still had no right to do this to DD. He had no right to end things in this way.

It is okay to end a relationship but there are less dysfuntional ways to end a relationship. Way less dysfunctional.

It is all his fault and Lolita Skankwhore the puppy abusing bitch helped him do it.

well i hope them two can live with themselves, but i`m 100% sure they think they did no wrong!

If they don't think they did anything wrong then they are:

1. Delusional
2. Stupid

There are people in this world who murder people, young children even...and they say "it wasn't my fault...I had a tough life ..it was the victims fault because he cried all the time and wouldn't take his bottle".

The best thing to do with toxic people who cannot be objective nor take responsibility for their own actions is to laugh at them.

They are cowards and it takes a brave person to admit wrong doing.

AMR i know i`m just going over past things that have been answered by you, so thank you

I`m just finding all this so hard to take in.

I wished i never had to see him ever again but i know i have to, LO will be here before i know it and i`m so worried about bring 2 very young DCs up on my own

he`s just making this so hard for me, i wished he would just stick to his days off like agreed or just not see DD at all.

I am not happy at all with him and his parents, they are making me feel like she is going into there hom and IS welcome even though he has done this to me and THERE grandchildren, how could they??

Just be truthful with me if she is going there ffs!

If they want to play happy familys with her then fine, but they better not expect me to go visiting them as i wont.

I wished his family would just leave me alone so i get on with my life now

I don't blame you one bit MoaP. I would be livid too. I don't like their behaviour one bit.

In the future things will really settle down with all this and you will be able to watch your little ones thrive. Believe me, it will settle down, and you and they will thrive.

I don't blame you for being upset though. It has all happened suddenly and only over the last couple of months...you are probably still in a bit of shock.

i am still in shock i think, some days i feel like its all a dream and things haven`t changed then i wake up and its just as awful.

There coming to see DD saturday, don`t know how thats going to go as i hate them right now, they say loads of stuff and then do the complete opposite

Thank you for all the support

I`m sure this will get better

Maybe you could tell MIL that you really want her to see the children and have a relationship with them but if she continues with the insensitive remarks and

A. Mentions Ex-P

B. Mentions Skankwhore

C. Mentions new puppy, new house, or anything that is going on in their rotten lives one more time then she is DONE because it is hurtful and heartbreaking and you are already going through hell without her comments.

Tell her she will not get a second chance.

She is allowed to talk about DD,national and local politics, the weather and that is it. Insert your subject of choice anyway.

I would put it in written form and hand it too her as soon as she walks in the door.

She needs to knock it off. You don't need any crap right now.

If you want I will draft a letter for you. People just piss me off sometimes.

i will tell her in a letter thanks

DD has just cried her eyes out because she wants to see daddy

Poor DD. Give her a hug from me! I feel so bad for her.

When she gets like that will he talk to her on the phone and try to soothe her?

i did think of that but i thought it might make it worse for DD as i know she would ask him to come and see her and i know the answer to that

I really don`t know what to do for the best, she is so hurt