i don`t think i can take this much longer

[mummyofaprincess]

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

Hi MOAP. You are doing so well. It made me smile too to hear you are making plans and starting to enjoy life without him.
Good for you. There's a lot to be said for independence, and not having to rely on anyone for anything.
Your dc are lucky to have such a good role model to look up to.
x

critter i`ve tried to set times and days but he never sticks to them, or he turns up late

He never calls me anymore to get his days off off him so i can never set the times for them days

ginnedup how are you now? I hope your ok x

I have had a lovely day today i`ve brought DD some new clothes and i also brought LO a lovely suit.

I also treated myself to having my nails done something i have always wanted done but xp wouldn`t let me before as he saw them as a waste of money, i love them they look great

I even got a few smiles today off some very nice men, which made my day

I'd set times (even if he ignores them) and only wait for say 10 minutes after the set time before going out (if he doesn't turn up.) Do this a few times, so that he has a few wasted journeys if he is prone to turning up late. If he phones and says: "Where are you?", tell him you waited for 10 minutes, and have now gone out, but will agree to a set time for the following week. And do it again the following week until the ground rules sink in.

In terms of the actual day, tell him you will only agree to a set day (and time!). If he chooses to ignore this and just turns up, then remember to put your coat on before you answer the door, smile and say: "Oh, we're just on our way out. You really will need to stick to our set day of (sunday) if you want to see DD."

Remember that if he went to court for contact, they would stipulate the date and times that he would have access for e.g. Sunday 10-2. So really, you're being quite flexible with him!

critter i haven`t got a clue about his hours or days off for this week coming.

Hes moving in his house tomorrow and its his day off and he said i cant come tomorrow as im moving and you know how stressfull it is (erm i dont care!!!! what about your daughter???)

And he also mentioned that hes going to be very busy now that hes moving, so i cant even arrainge anything if he dont tell me his hours/days off

I think her and this house come first then he will think about DD!

Thank you for the advice, it does help alot, pitty XP cant put his DD first, im not asking for him to see her all day!!!

Was just thinking about you MOAP. And very sorry to hear your XP is still being a selfish twat although not suprised, sadly.

I think critterjitter has made a very good suggestion about going out. If nothing else it will help you feel better!

I think that is also a very good idea, i will get the "so your not letting me see DD then!!" but i know that he will be in the wrong then and so will he

I think i`m going to have a very hard night tomight and all day tomorrow

I don`t want him back but the thought of him being all loved up and moving in with her is very upsetting for me.

I know this will pass and it will get better, i`ll put this down as one of "the bad days" which i know will come and go for a while yet

I hope that in time i can be as happy as he is

Is there any way you cam get some time to do something nice for yourself tomorrow MOAP? To take your mind off things?

And every time you feel that way, I;d maybe go back and read critterjitters post on Friday 11th at 8.21am.

Maybe eveb print it out and put it on your fridge

I'm feeling a little annoyed with XP today as he has once again dropped DS round with a missing toy and minus clothes I sent him with. Just a wee bit though

I`m having my hair cut tomorrow so i hope this takes my mind off the idiot XP.

I try not to let things he tells me get me down, but this is a big thing to me, as we planned on moving out and getting us a big 3 bedroomed house with a big garden for the DCs

Its like he is doing this to hurt me more, who knows, i`m not going to show him that it hurts like hell

How is your DS, my DD is loving nursey at the moment

I will go to that post now

I`ve been looking for some baby items aswell to take my mind of things, DD is happy watching the beebies while i have some time to sit here and look

My mom watched DD for most of yesterday and when i called to say i was on my way to pick DD up my mom said DD had started to ask when mommy was coming back and i spoke to DD on the phone and she sounded so upset (DD is like this now since xp left, DD thinks that im not going to be coming back for her )

When i picked her up she had the biggest smile on her face and she gave me a big love and a kiss

Awww that sounds lovely MOAP. Toddlers give the best hugs and kisses don't they? My DS likes to say he has kissy lips.

Your DD is probably just feeling a little insecure, that's completely natural but she will be OK as she still has you.

DS is great thanks for asking, very happy and full of beans. Currently watching Shrek2. I feel a tad guilty tbh as I wanted to take him out today but the weather here is really grotty and I don't have a car..and I'm being lazy, LOL ...but he seems happy enough.

the weather here isnt very nice either, i did want to pop to the shop but its just to cold and windy to take DD out so ill do it tomorrow instead

i really feel down and upset tonight wished i didn`t know what was going on tomorrow

(((MOAP)))

How do they think they are gonna keep things secret when they are living together?

And they work together as well?

OMG, recipe for disaster.

Does anyone at work know what is going on? Cos I can't imagine they would be too impressed.

Hawd, your XP really is a prize nob-end.

everyone at work knows now, and they seem happy for him, except my two friends, which were his friends aswell untill all this happend.

He can`t even be bothered to sort out days with DD and i feel so upset and hurt today, i hate him so much

I can't say I blame you MOAP. Have you got anyone who can be there with you tonight? Sometimes having someone there who cares can really help.

If not we are all here for you. I know its tough. Rant away as mcuh as you like.

What job does your XP do, MOAP, if you don't mind me asking.

i haven`t got anyone i could call to here to be honest

He`s a manager at a wetherspoons, i wished he never got a job there, i knew it was a bad idea, at the time i was more worried about the long hours

I know its easy to say "don't worry", but please don't. I have yet to hear of a relationship with so little going for it, as the one you describe that he now has.

I can't really believe that all of his workmates are really happy to him. I'd hazard a guess that they're talking behind his back about the pregnant wife/partner and young child that he's messed about.

I would concentrate on ensuring that you are getting the right money from him (maintenance) and establishing ground rules. Leave him to mess up his life. He'll soon be back with his tail between his legs and egg on his face.

thanks

I hope he doesnt prove us wrong and last years with her i really dont want here near my DCs but if they stay together i have no choice.

I wished he had just left me and then moved on to another women, but they way he has done it has left me so upset and angry sometimes, days like today it hurts like hell

just spoke to my friends that work with xp and "her" and they said he brought her the dog for her birthday, and guess what he brought DD for her birthday a suit that cost no more ten £10

Its not the amounts i`m bothered about its the lack of thought for DD

Well you know what wetherspoons are shite anyway MOAP!

critterjitter is absolutely right, you know.

Workmates may be nice to his face cos they have to work with him but I bet they'll be talking about him behind his back and it WON'T be nice things they are saying.

That doesn't help you really I know but it might make you feel a bit better!

"they way he has done it has left me so upset and angry sometimes, days like today it hurts like hell"

Of course it does MOAP cos they have behaved appallingly. TBH she sounds like a real selfish spoiled brat which is maybe how they get on.

"Its not the amounts i`m bothered about its the lack of thought for DD"

Yeah, nice guy there putting his spoilt brat girlfriend above his own daughter. Thats says it all really.

Your DD will be fine though MOAP cos she knows how much you love her x

janos you have got that right

"she sounds like a real selfish spoiled brat which is maybe how they get on"

All this is making me sick, he is bragging at work, because my mates wouldn`t know things like the dog, and them moving tomorrow, i can see it now to be honest, when i saw them pair at work they looked like love sick teenagers, and i hate him for this

I don't blame you hun, In your position I'd feel the same way too. How can you not? You are only human and you've been horribly hurt.

I;ve been there and I know whatthe pain is like. But I promise you it will get better.

One day you will get to a point where you just don't care that much about your XP. I promise!

i think i`m hurting because of the rejection, and also how fast he has moved on with his life

It is horrible being rejected...even if the person doing it is an arsehole. I really do feel for you.