i don`t think i can take this much longer

[mummyofaprincess]

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

he moves to his house on monday so i dont think he will ever ask to come back to be honest critterjitter, he tells me all the time about how gd his new life is and what hes up to, pitty i have to hear it

How long did your relationships last for when you were 17? I can remember ditching a bloke for having the wrong colour hair! Believe me, once she gets a hint of the baggage he comes with, she'll be off like a shot.

Is the house rented? Is she moving in?

its rented and she`s moving in paying rent and so is her best friend they all work together.

Pitty i`ve only every had one bf, my XP

hi pom - im sorry your still going through this. It will get easier x

thankyou sugar34plum i think i will look back at this in november and think what an idiot i was making myself and

15 months ago my ex of 8 yrs dumped me over the phone "because it wasn't working" & I have since found out that he had been seeing his new girlfriend for god knows how long by that point, maybe even months.

Ex had cheated before & I forgave him but I wished I'd just gotten rid of the first time.

I felt exactly like you do now, but believe me it does get easier even though that may seem impossible now. I found it helped to concentrate on the positives ... they do increase with time. & also even if you can't go out out do something fun with your friends & try to see them often - I found this helps.

You are better off without him, honestly. I speak to my ex now but I think he's an idiot!

First of all your not an idiot he is. I know you love him and forgive me but is he worth it?

He leaves you pregnant with a toddler to cope on your own while he flits off and then comes and tells you how happy he is with his gf

I know its hard i have been to hell and back with dh. So i also know that things can change around and it can be forgiven and the trust can be gained back.

But he needs to stop being a jerk and start acting more responsible for his family.

I cant remeber does dd go to stay with him?

So, they're not exactly getting a place together. If they need someone else to rent with them, then money is an issue. And it'll be even more of an issue once all the Child Maintenance gets sorted out (if it hasn't). All the arguments will start about money: "Why do you have to pay for your kids, when I need a new moisturiser/ pair of Uggs etc etc. What do kids need money for anyway?" You can hear it now. Then it'll be arguments about why he has to spend time with his kids, and so on and so on.

Believe me, it won't last. Enjoy the break from him. Let them get on with it.

i think if he had of stayed then he would have carried on with her behind my back.

I do think she wanted me to know, what did she have to loose?

Im so glad i found out, i know now looking back that all the signs was there i just didnt click on.

Maybe i was to trusting but i never thought in a million years he would do that, but i can see his reasons for thinking the grass is greener... (they might be who knows!)

Hi mummyofaprincess. read your post and like many others am totally feeling for you. you may feel like you arent coping but your really are doing great. I am 26 now and went through a really bad break up at the same age as you (no kids at that point) but i can say it made me such a stronger person and you will come through this. Do anything you can to get that guy out of your mind, change your number get a good support around you, do u have family close by. Where do you live? Just concentrate on yourself you deserve to be happy and he will not make you feel happy. Dont stress about this other girl or if it will last (it wont though) every relationship is good at the begginning but they all have their problems. Just because you have kids doesnt mean you are alone in this for the rest of your life trust me. I am 8 months preg right now and have a son 2 yr old ds and I know it is soooo hard but beleive me you will come out on top of this. Just keep your head up and dont let himget to you. Why do you have tolisten to his crap cant he just pick up your dd and leave then bring her back. He doesnt need to comein your house and invade your space.

Sugar he has tried to have DD over night but she wouldnt sleep and wanted mummy so he had to bring her back, this was at his parents house as DD hasnt met "her" yet as i dont want my DD meeting her yet (i know i should just let her go but for now i cant)

If they stay together for a while then yes DD will have to meet her and stay at this house of theres, but for now DD doesnt bother to much with daddy and he hasnt proved himself to be reliable (he turns up late and only stops and hour because hes busy) bit like tomorrow hes busy so can only see DD for a bit!!

He is totaly useless!!

Thing is, she probably isn't mature enough to realise the impact she has had on so many lives. She probably hasn't even taken in the fact that you are pregnant with his child, or that there is a second child.

The best way of ending their relationship is letting them get on with it. They'll do it themselves in record time. Smile sweetly and fill out those Child Maintenance forms.

He takes pleasure in telling me these things char, he even called earlier to talk about DD but couldnt help himself by saying i cant see her in the afternoon only morning as i`m shopping with "her" to get some new stuff for "our" house

I have said i dont want to know, as i really dont, but he says them anyway, god knows why

By the way, were you married? And have you seen a solicitor/ CAB? You don't have to let your kids stay over with him. And its very unlikely that a court would grant him overnight stays for quite a whlle anyway, particularly given the age of your child and that your second will be a baby.

I havent done or said anything to make them split up, and there is alot i could say and do but i have chose to not say a thing, im not like that.

Its like you say if they are going to end it will be down to the two of them not the interfering ex (me)!

When he took me to asda the other day her clothes were all over the car like it was a statement this is mine!! Well i know xp he hates stuff all over the place so its a wonder he didnt say something, but then again he wants me to see it doesnt he so he thinks it will get me down and you know what, it didn`t

So many ways to look at him only seeing dd for a bit

1. He is genuinely busy?

2)His a twat

3)He feels so much guilt he cant be around either of you?

I do completely understand not wanting dd to meet ow as its a newish " relationship"

But as for seeing dd he is taking the piss seeing her when it suits him but being the great mum you are he knows you will allow him. imo his playing on the fact that you want him back so badly that you are in fact letting him do as he wishes. Im not saying stop him seeing dd just make it more of a fixed time/day access. If he doesnt come back then at least its more of a structual setting for dd. He cant indefinately come and go out of her life as he pleases.

You are doing so well dont ever doubt yourself when in comes to his appalling behaviour.

I have made an appointment as he was going on at me only last week about court (not that he could afford it!) no we wasn`t married so thats one less stress out the way

To be honest i dont think he will want DD and LO over night as he would have to give up his weekends when hes off as he does rota shifts, hes off tomorrow and hasnt asked to have DD over night, he nicely said to me "i`m going out tomorrow night" and a smile, should i care?? no!!

He does it as he thinks i can`t go out, but i can, and i am!

I can`t make any set days and times as he does rota shifts, no two weeks are the same

Thats why i think he wouldnt get anywhere in court anyway as he would have to have set days off at work aswell, and i cant see him changing his shifts as he works with her

Maybe things will change and he will hit me with the court papers

This hurt you feel right now will soon turn to anger. raging anger. Can yous work out fixed days or times for him to see dd. "our house" wat a wanker. She isnt even legal age to go clubbing or drink. get a list of points like fixed arrangements for dd and stick to it, Just tell him if he doesnt only discuss your kids youll hang up. Fuck him. Jumping from 1 relationship to another is never a good thing. You are your no.1 priority and dont forget it.

He sounds VERY immature (as does she).

Really, you have no worries. Once all the monies, baggage, custody/ visitation rights, children, guilt etc issues roar up, she'll be off.

Concentrate on your pregnancy and child.

Hmm sorry posted that msg after the rota thing was mentioned. In that case maybe say every time he gets a day off he can take lo off your hands for a wee while.

All day i don`t think about him, but when DDs in bed asleep thats when i get thinking.

I am so much better off without him, i have done alot more now then i have done in years.

I never used to step foot out the door unless i had to but now i enjoy nothing more then getting out there even if its to go to the shops to get a magazine for MYSELF lol as i never ever brought myself anything before. Its sad but true.

That was our plan but guess what?? He cant see DD monday his day off as hes moving!

This is what i get.

He had wednesday off and he came to the nursey spent half an hour if that with DD then he was off and thats it.

I really don`t know why i bother honestly

Its funny because you start remembering who u are, what music and films you like etc. Get your hair done pamper yourself,stick ur feet in a bowl of hot water,anything to destress. You have the chance to find out who you are, dont waste your life thinking about him. There are better men out there.

Does he call you to see dd?