i don`t think i can take this much longer

[mummyofaprincess]

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

so heres the text i just recieved

cant make it to the midwife tomorrow sorry but ill pick you up at 1.45 for the school, if i can make the appointment i`ll call you

Thats it

He is digging a hole for himself.

Save that text...and all of the other texts where he blows the kids off.

He wants to pretend he is dad of the year and that you are "stopping" him from seeing your dd and then you get texts like that? And he threatens to take you to court over visitation??

Was he always so thick?

Just sit back, put your feet up, grab some popcorn and watch dumbass screw up his life. It'll be better than an award winning movie.

He was never like this

He never ever missed any appointment that involved DD, he really doesnt want to knwo this baby at all.

If this one wasn`t planned then yeah i would understand but LO was!

He said on the phone before i found out that "maybe the baby was a mistake" so i take it when we found out he wasnt happy (he was very good at putting on a happy face ill tell you that much)

I`m now in 2 minds as to saying not to baother coming tomorrow to the school, i know if he does come then i wont speak to him as i am fuming right now with his behavior

I HATE this man!

the reason im in 2 minds is because i cant have another arguement with him, i feel to stressed as it is, this is all getting me down now

I don`t know what to do for the best now

I feel so bad, why do i feel like this, hes winning again isnt he

Why do i bother telling him when things are coming up e.g appointments and stuff, i wished i`d never bothered now, i am wasteing my time.

I need a good kick up the bum i think

I wish i had some one around to talk to right now, take the views on this

He is not winning hun. Am here here if you want to talk.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this a-hole, it must be so difficult watching him change almost overnight from the person you thought he was.

Thinking of you x

Thankyou janos x
I think i might be expecting to much, i don`t knwo

Its like he wants to punish me for something i haven`t done.

This isn`t goign to change

I think lowering your expectations might be a good idea...not for his sake, but for your sake to protect you and your DD from his behaviour. The less you expect from him the less he has the power to hurt you.

Sometimes, life is easier when we deal with people how they actually are rather than how we expect them to be.

If he wants to punish you its because deep down he knows he has been an arsehole and feels guilty (and so he damn well should.

tomorrow im not even going to talk about the appointment even if he asks, also im not going to tell him the appointments anymore, theres no point.

To be honest i`m not even going to talk to him at all, whats the point i talk for nothing.

I really dont want him to come tomorrow but i feel like i am punishing DD and not him, oh god i dont know right now

Janos is so right. He is taking his dysfunctional emotions out on you. He is as responsible for that baby as you are...whether or not baby was planned or a mistake doesn't matter.

Don't expect him to give a damn. If he wants to bothered he will get in touch. Leave it at that. Let him initiate it all. Just take DD to nursery tomorrow. He'll probably show up late making you all late for her first day anyway.

You've got us here on this thread and you can email me anytime. I don't mind.

Good luck for tomorrow.

thankyou AMR x

Is it your scan tomorrow MOAP? Best of luck with that.

Just take DD to nursery and plan something nice for yourself x

its a check up janos, heartbeat and measurements etc

The reason i thought he would come was he never missed a single one with DD but everythings different now

thankyou x

ive told him now im going on my own to both of them

I dont want him there, thers no point hes no father to my DCs

Oh right a check up..it's been a while so I can't quite remember.

Going on your own is probably for the best. Give yourself permission to feel sad about it though, that's normal.

i`m very very sad, i have had a cry
I think it is best aswell as i need to talk to the teachers about DDs behavior at the moment.

DDs still awake and wont go to bed, been trying since 7 to get her to sleep but shes having non of it

I'm sorry MOAP but it's fine to cry. Have some (((hugs))).. I don't normally do them but you deserve it.

Oh no, it's a nightmare when they won't go to bed isn't it. Exhausting.

Do you have any sort of routine? I always find that helps settle DS who can be a right handful at bedtime.

She does normally have a routine but just lately she has got out of this routine some how, we normally have the bath bed routine but this sin`t working, it might be because of everything thats going on

So how did he take it when you told him he wasn't welcome to come?

Let me guess he accused you of not letting him see the kids and threatened court action. It wouldn't surprise me really.

Ask him what the "court" will think when they see his texts stating that he really cannot be bothered to come to midwife appointments etc etc...too busy for this and that so can't see DD for more than 10 minutes....etc etc. He cannot pick and choose one child to care about (occasionally) while foresaking the other child and still be seen as a good dad.

The only people dumb enough to swallow that bullshit is him and OW.

Get mad. Get tough.

AMR he didn`t say anything to the text, but i have to confess i called him to say he can come as i think its in DDs best interests, but its like you say he probably wont turn up but i know i have done the right thing here for DD now.

I would love nothing more then to be there all on my own, if he turns up for DD then great if not his loss, he has the choice now, he cant say im stopping him see DD.

I was all over the place yesterday, really stressed out, but i had a good sleep and now i feel so much better, not heard from him today so i dont know if he will be there or not, i wont tell DD that hes coming just incase he doesn`t.

Thank you AMR and janos for all your support last night it really did mean alot x

Well I hope for DD's sake he comes. I hope you guys have a really good day. I think she will like nursery.

Thank you

I hope i`ve done the right thing here lol

If anything goes wrong it is entirely his fault and not yours. You are doing the best anyone could do in a totally crap situation.

Midwife went really well, told her parts of what had happend and she showed me alot of support and made sure i was ok.

XP asked about the appointment straight away which shocked me (but i have this suspision that he wasnt busy this morning he just didnt want to come, but didn`t want to tell me that!)

DDs first day also went really well she loved it
Xp came i asked if he wanted to come up after it finished so he could see DD he said no im busy so i said ok, he said i might be able to see DD friday after school, but im busy so i`ll let you know

I asked what his days off next week was he said mondays one off them but im busy so i said i give up your always busy dont forget your not letting me down your letting DD down and he said yeah i know

Well im not going to contact him ill let him contact me, if he wants to see DD then he`s welcome if not then his loss, just a bit for DD thats all

I am so glad the midwife was supportive.

As I said before in regards to the children and visitation.....he is digging his own grave.