i don`t think i can take this much longer

[mummyofaprincess]

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

his behavior was disgusting and his mom was so sick aswell.

Why do these men have no hearts??

I hope your DH can see why you chucked him out now.

Thats so sad to read as you had 3 small children and
"BIL wanted to know why I couldnt get off my fat arse and come around to sort it out for him"

Im sure that must have been the hardest time in your life, im so glad you and your DH are still together

Men must not be able to see things from our point of view!!!

So at your BIL!! how dare he!!!

at these horrible selfish men.

AnneMayesR, I remember your thread. Am I glad you chucked out your BIL.

And you are SO right about enablers.

Hope you are recovering well from your post-natal health issues too.

Third post here, but just wanted to add MOAP what a great mum you are. You have proved it every day by coping after your shit of an ex walked out and making sure your DD knows mum is there for here.

You should be very proud of yourself.

Thanks MoaP and Janos I am fine now. Still shocked at DH putting BIL over me and the kid for so long..and giving him money. I don't understand it and he shuts down and doesnt talk about it. We aren't back to normal yet but are trying and have no contact with BIL who isn't the least bit remorseful.

I think men in general have huge problems with empathy and seeing things from other people's perspective. But spoiled ones are worse.

MoaP your ex says the exact same stuff as my BIL i.e. "not my problem" "why should I" "I can do what I want" etc. etc. If you try and stop them from hurting someone they get all defensive and accuse you of "standing in their way" and "cramping their style".

I`m glad you have got through it AnneMayesR
I think you will always be shocked at your DH putting BIL first, and to be honest so would i!

I think i will find it so hard to trust a man again, i know in time all these feelings of non trust and hate will go but i know i will have this barrier up

It will be so hard to open my heart again, i NEVER want to be this hurt ever again.

Maybe i will be single for the rest of my life lol

I just want to be happy again one day

I don't really trust him and if we split then I am done with men until my kids are grown. Men cannot even be honest with themselves let alone their DP's.

I hope you are having a good day everyone.

MOAP you will be happy again. I really think he has done you a favour by letting you go. He would have always held you back and stopped you from reaching your potential. You are very young and your life is only beginning.

You sound like you have a really good head on your shoulders and could go really far if you stay focused.

I am sorry for your heartbreak and so bloody angry on your behalf but I really think that you will achieve more without him. He is useless and he doesn't want to be a grown up.

My prediction is that years from now you will have a great life a good income and better job than he could ever get. You will have gorgeous kids who adore you and a new partner who knows how to act like an adult.

Ex-P will still be renting a house and partying with 17 year olds and they will all be laughing behind his back at the creepy old man who thinks he is young and hip.

OMG AnneMayersR - I cannot believe anyone would be so thick! How could your BIL (and DH) behave like that? Anyway, glad you are OK now - and I can see where your posts come from!
And MoaP - get some financial advise quick, your xp needs to know that money for dd's essentials should be paid for 1st, then he can go buy a puppy or what ever (hasn't he ever heard of the RSPCA or local dogs home? They take in unwanted animals that need rehoming for next to nothing?)

I have sorted the maintenance out now, he will be hearing from the CSA very soon, I didnt want to go through them but it is for the best as i know he cant say hes forgot or hasnt got the money

DD saw him today and he only spent about half an hour with DD His excuse was i`m hungry, and i have got to go in work early (yeah right) So i never even got chance to get him to take DD out on her bike.

He came down to tell me that he will be able to make DDs first day at nursery (parents are welcome to stay on this) but he dont know if he can make the midwife appointment (well if he isnt coming to the midwife then he wont be coming to the school, simple as that! He has two DCs, i know LO isnt born yet but the appointment is to see if LO is doing ok!) So angry at him right now, didnt show it infront of DD.

I let him in my home on the conditions and he stuck to them!

He had the cheek to say well over the next few weeks i will be very busy so i will only be able to see DD on the set days but only for a short while
How short does he want to make the visits 10 mins?????
He only see`s her for 30mins at the best of times

To be honest DD is also better off without him aswell, you couldn`t even call him a part time dad could you?

Well apart from this i am actually having a good day

He has done me a favour He`s also shown me his true colours.

Sparkybabe he wouldnt do that as he likes showing off you see, he has brought this dog for her, shes spoilt so wouldn`t want one from the RSPCA she would want an expensive one (from what i can make out from what xp has said in the past)

Moap - it sounds like he treats just about everything as a status symbol - expensive dog,17year-old mistress,beautiful dd (when he wants her). Sad,sad,sad. One day he will grow up but it doesn't sound like that'll be soon.

sparky i should have known better really.

He has always been the same, whenever anyone wanted anything he would go out his way to get it first.

My dad wanted a big telly for ages, so my xp goes ahead and gets one before him (only 2 weeks before he left!!)

He has always done this, he has run himslef up some debts in the past that he is now paying.

When i look at it that way, i am better off without him as he will never change.

He is just one big show off!!

He said to me the other day i am going to get myself straight then i will buy the clothes i said i would for DD, he said ill go to next (i love there clothes but i only really go when they have sales on as i find some of the suits expensive) I said you dont have to go there you could go and i said a few clothes shops that are cheap and last, he said no i want to go to next!

I give up i was only trying to help, i think its also because his now GF wont shop in any cheap shops at all as she has always had money, so he wants to impress her aswell wih look at me i`m buying all this for my DD!!!

Either that or shes buying them with him

I hate the way he is now, he`s a waste of space, i hope he lands on his face not his feet!!!

AnneMayesR, I want to shake your husband and get some answers out of him! Would he go to counseling with you so he can explain himselfon the assumption he'd have to talk there? Although I suppose he could sit there and say nothing! What a waste of space that BIL is! Unbelievable. I couldn't find the old threadhas it been deleted?

MOAP, I've been following your threads all along and I have to say your ex is way higher on the evolutionary scale than the BIL above! But he has been dismal. He keeps surprising me. He sells the family car to buy something cheaper so he can pay his and their shares of rent? He tells you what gifts he is buying for her? He is late paying maintenance but he buys a 200L puppy? He's a winner, he is! He is not thinking with his head. It's very sad what he is doing with his life.

Hansie hi, well i just don`t know him anymore.

He made me look into his eyes yesterday and tell him that i dont love him anymore and i dont want him back as he didnt believe me, I havent got a clue whats going on in his head.

He has sole tenancy on the house, so if she and the friend leave he will have to pay up!
I haven`t got a clue whats changed him.

Maybe he wasnt ready for another child and this just tipped him over the edge, or it could be that hes turned into this love sick teenager that only cares about himself and her.

I did ask him yesterday if he loved me when he left and his answer was i don`t know (i had to ask, should have known the answer)
I said to him you have done me a favour and i have my life back, he was so shocked he just said oh thanks!
What does he want me to say to him now, that i love him and will always want him back?? Is he stupid??

My dad said to me today i know whats going to happen now, he will move find out he has made a mistake then come crawling back to you, and then thats the time when you will have the strengh to tell him to get lost and never come back.

Between you and me, i know this will never happen, maybe she will take him for a ride but i really cant comment on that as i dont know her.

Xp takes pleasure in telling me how lovely this new place is and that her nan has spent loads on getting new things for it.

I dont know why they want to move in so fast, maybe they are so in love, ill never know lol

oh i forgot something else he said yesterday

He said that in the future he wants us all to be firends, me him and her i was a bit shocked, i told my dad and he just laughed and said dream on!

Hey good for you MOAP! Sounds like you are really getting sorted.

"He said that in the future he wants us all to be firends, me him and her"

Aye right! I agree with your Dad there, sounds like he has his head screwed on.

Maybe he has done you a favour MOAP in that you are not stuck with catering to this pathetic man child when you will soon have a new baby to look after. You'll onlyt have one baby instead of two .

"Xp takes pleasure in telling me how lovely this new place is and that her nan has spent loads on getting new things for it."

Christ, she IS a spoilt brat isn't she? Surprised 'Nan' approves of her moving in with your XP.

Or doesn't she know...?

He said she knows but i know he`s lieing!!!

I think thats why they chose to have a 3 bedroom place instead of 2!

She is a spoilt brat, she gets EVERYTHING she wants and more.... (so xp says)

Well xp wont have the money to splash out on her all the time, but knowing him she WILL come first and DD and LO will go without (i`ll make up for what he doesnt do!)

Shes 18 at the end of this month so i think she may tell them after that, maybe lie saying we have got so close as we live together etc etc

She is a bare faced lier like him, as they denied they was together at work for a long time, she even lied to her own mother when my brother had told everyone what happend! So her mom doesn`t know still either

Her nan is even buying herself a new suite so she can have her old one (which i bet isn`t that old at all!)

Oh please please ask him why you want would to be friends with the people who tried to ruin your babies' lives and cause DD so much pain and suffering? Even LO will be feeling the stress you are feeling in a way as all of the stress hormones going through your system will go through his/her little baby system.

What a dickhead. The word child abuser comes to mind. Anyone who causes a child emotional pain, hurt and feelings of abandonment is a child abuser. Especially if the person doing this is the one who is supposed to nurture and care for the child as a parent does.

I want to kick his ass. (said in an Arnold Schwarzenagger accent).

Just laugh hysterically when he brings up the "friends" shit.

By the way Hansiemum....the day after I kicked BIL out I got a call from social services and my health visitor...the little bastard reported me as an unfit abusive mother.

What the dumbass didn't realise was that I worked near the same social workers and had tea and smoke breaks with them often. And that they had listened to me complain about him for years and they knew he was calling them the day after I kicked him out because we had a party in the break room at work when I finally got rid of him.
I had tried to kick him out for 10 months but he refused to go unless my husband told him to go which he wouldn't.

Little shit got himself in a little bit o'trouble for making false reports.

Oh shit I didn't mean to stress you out about the stress hormone thing. It's just not nice to stress out pregnant women and that was the point I was making.

I have seen pregnant women go through the death of a spouse, of an older child, bankrupcy, cancer diagnosis etc with no long effects to the baby whatsoever so don't worry about it.

i can`t believe he did that!! I am so shocked right now, how could he do that

I`m so glad you knew the people he reportedyou to, that must have helped so much

Its a wonder you dh didnt kick him up the ass for that, i wouldnt know what to do if that happend to me.

I was thinking earlier though, i wonder if xp will throw this one at me next if he can`t get his own way!

I feel really crap tonight and i dont know why, im sure it will pass

I think i just need a good old lie in in the morning lol

annemayesr don`t worry about, i know LO is ok, he/she is very active

Whenever xp starts with his crap (and DD isn't looking) just roll your eyes and give him the finger and say nothing.

I am still plotting my revenge against BIL a year later. I want it to be really really good but the 2 rules are 1.it has to be legal and 2. No one gets seriously hurt.

I found these postcards...was going to send them to his work (yeah he actually got a job!!),and /or neighbours (but addressed to him):

www.prankplace.com/envelopes.htm

and these next ones are kind of funny if you read the back.

www.prankplace.com/postcards.htm

Its cheap. It's childish. It's lame. But I think it is funny.

you have just made my night, that would be so good!!!

Just think of his face when he recieves it lmao!

All his work mates would be like

I could do loads of stuff to get my own back on xp, think one day i might have to lol

XP hasnt got a clue what he will be missing out on, its so sad to see that hed thrown this away.

In some ways i hope they last so that this wasn`t chucked away for nothing, and in another way i hope she breaks his heart so he knows just how it feels!

I haven`t got a clue which way it will go, i really wish i did

xp is yet to call/text about coming to the midwife and school tomorrow.

Well hes told me he will come to the school but he said ill let you know about the midwife as im busy, ive got to meet up with the new landlord.

I said to him you knew for ages about the midwife can`t you go before, or even after?

His answer was i dunno i`ll let you know (so that a NO)

I am so pissed off about this, he really doesnt care about this baby does he?

Well i will say to him if you cant make the midwife then dont bother with the school either!

I cant let him have his own way, the chikdren come first, not his stupid needs, im sure if he explained to the landlord what he had on tomorrow he would understand and move times, part of me thinks hes lieing to me and he hasnt got to meet up with him at all, either that or he can meet up with him anytime tomorrow and he just doesn`t want to come

So with him!

He's a moron.

I dont know why he is doing this, he still hasnt texted or called.

I feel like i am wasting my time, and that i need to face up to the fact that he doesn`t want to know LO