i don`t think i can take this much longer

[mummyofaprincess]

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

Sorry that should be I am surprised..

Bad typing!

i really don`t think i can take anymore of it.

I feel that no matter what he does from now on he will come up smelling of roses and its just not fair.

I feel like i`m paying for his mistake.

No one has fallen out with him over this and he still has everything, while i have lost more or less everything, i am lucky that i still have my DCs.

I just want the days and nights to go so fast till i have LO and then i wont have to feel so alone on a night as LO will keep me on my toes when DD is in bed.

XP doesn`t even want to know DD anymore and i have this feeling this wont change, i also think when LO is born he wont even want to see him/her

He is not smelling like Roses! You are! You are doing great.

To be honest I would tell your MIl to piss off until she can show you some respect. I can see why your DP is like he is...mum and dad let him get away with whatever. He obviously wants to act like a teenager again so they should treat him like one.

Seriously don't worry about the court/custody shit. They will laugh at him.

When you talk to your solicitor remember to tell them that you DO want him to see the babies but you are scared of his behaviour and don't think it is safe for him to have them at his house..he is unstable..unreliable...prone to violent outburts and is scaring you and DD. I am in total agreement with you. I do not think he is safe to go off with the kids overnight. Not children as little as yours.

Didn't you say on here at one point that he is drinking and supplying alcohol to minors (other woman). That really really concerns me.

Don't remind him about the maintainence. He knows he is supposed to bring it every week. If he doesn't then document that and keep a copy of your bank records and financial stuff.

Let dumbass dig his own hole.

Just as an aside. I was watching FOX news the other night and the lawyer/journalists on the show were talking about Britney and K-fed. Which one should get their kids? K-Fed and Britney got together after K-Fed walked out on his 8 months pregnant girlfriend and young toddler to be with her.

They were saying that Britney is very unstable but that she must be forced to get help so she can have her kids back. They went on to say that everyone is uneasy about K-Fed having the little boys since he left is 8 month pregnant girlfriend in the past to be with Britney and that shows him to be an UNFIT FATHER.

Talk about an unfit father..those kids are better off with a Britney once she pulls herself together than they are with some creep who walked out on his pregnant girlfriend and kid. He is obviously a selfish man who doesn't put kids first.

Seriously that is what they were saying! This is after Brit got taken away on a stretcher in wrist and ankle restraints.

AnneayesR talks a lot of sense MoaP, (except the bit about the crack-head white trash and her selfish creep husband - IMHO neither ofthem are fit to be responsible for the adorable tiny toddlers they have together) - men like your dp think all they need do is turn up at court, strutting about their LO's and everyone will turn and fall on you and rip you to shreds! I think the reality is more like he is going to ripped up, and not before time.

He is only smelling of roses because he is lying to everyone about why he left and who is with.

It will all come out and bite them on the bum (so to speak) and i bet freinds will suddenly be busy ect and so his life will be what it is a 26 year old hanging around with 16 - 18 year olds with them using him to get what they want and then laughing at him/them behind his back.

As to his parents although they don't agree with what is happening but he is their son. Are they afraid that you will stop them from seeing your dc IYSWIM.

have just got the jist of the story...be proud of yourself for walking away with your dignity and pride x he doesnt deserve you or the children....i just hope that his teeny bopper gives him crabs and leaves him with fuck all

In total agreement with AnneMayesR post at 11.20.

Just ignore his parents and concentrate of you and your DCs.

He really isn't coming up smelling of Roses.

He is a selfish, immature excuse for a father. Look at it for minute.

Look at it from an outsiders POV for a moment....he is carrying on with a 17 year old girl, giving her alcohol, his is moody, violent, unpredictable...and on top of that he isn't paying maintenance!!!!

Meanwhile there you are, 6 months pregnant coping with all this, looking after your DD..

I know who looks like the responsible, loving, mature parent in all this and it's NOT HIM!

Sorry repeating myself...trying to do 3 things at once LOL. Summary = he's a twat and won't get custody!

Okay let's agree to agree that neither k-fed or Britney would be good parents. But a healed and well Britney would be ten times better than K-fed any day.

Hope you are having a better day Moap!

Don't let 'em grind you down!!

Hi everyone

Well i did go to his mom and dads for dinner as i wanted to talk to them about xp.

When i got there guess what, he`s only brought a puppy for her i looked at how much it was and it was £200

I cant believe it, i am so mad right now, not only has he brought that, he hasn`t even bothered to buy the clothes for DD he said he would when it was her birthday

Back to his parents, they are scared i will take the kids away so they cant see them, they have been to court twice before over grandkids, first time they didnt get access they gave up as the mother went missing with the children and the second time they only got access for twice a month.

He does take her out and buys her drinks, he also serves her when he`s working when he thinks no ones looking...

He moves out a week monday so i know i wont see him when he does thank god.

Hes popping the maintenance down later along with the telly money but guess what, he said i can only stop 10 mins as ive got THINGS to do!!!

I dont want him in here so he will be stopping on the door step, DD will be in bed when he drops it off so she doesnt get upset.

I really need to talk to him about DD but i know he will end up arguing with me so i am going to leave it till i`ve been to the CAB, so i know where i stand if i get anything chucked in my face about DD.

Well hes got wednesday off as DD starts school but hasnt mentioned it that he wants to come or anything, i don`t want him there as i need to speak to the teachers about DD and whats been happening etc..

Thank you everyone for your support x

Oh. My. God.

He bought her a £200 puppy?

Oh. My. God.

What a dumbass.

I am so sorry this is happening to you MoaP.

He...bought a puppy....? That cost £200...?

And he forgets to pay maintenance. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Fucking pathetic, immature, spoilt brat.

Im beginning to wonder whether he gets mummy dearest to wipe his arse for him.

Grrr...sorry MOAP, I know this isn't helping you but I'm almost speechless with anger. he needs to fucking grow up. He's a father for fucks sake. A FATHER!!

He wasnt there so haven`t spoken to him about this puppy, but i have researched it all and yep he sure has!!

He will try and feed me some bullshit like she has brought it (so if its hers then why is it at his moms he thinks i`m stupid you see)

Also i forgot to put in my last post that yes he was spoilt all his life and he has always got away with things, and he is the youngest and the only son they see now, as they don`t talk to the others!!

Says it all really doesn`t it.

Are you OK MOAP? Thinking of you right now x

Tell you what, right now if I had 5 minutes alone in a room with him he wouldn't stop shaking for days.

Sorry hun.

Janos i feel the same right now, i was gob smacked!!

I made my feelings very clear to his parents about they way he has been, and to be honest now i feel like i`m wasteing my breath.

I really and truely think i`ve done all i can to keep the peace i think its about time he got the taste of his own medicine now

I am actually ok, thankyou. i am angry and very upset that he hasn`t even bothered with DD, she needs things but does he care NO!!

Well when he comes later im not holding back on what i say this time, Im not going to shout im calmly going to speak my mind, if he shouts at me then hes the twat not me.

Nothing can be worse then what he has said to me already

Gobsmacked doesn't even cover it MOAP.

I think you're right MOAP and I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this when you should be excited and happy, looking forward to the birth of your new DC.

You are probably right not to deal with his parents as their spineless acceptance of his behavior will probably make you feel worse. I know what they say but actions speak louder than words.

It may help if you write down what you want to say to him, just to clarify things in your own mind.

You are doing amazingly well.

"Im beginning to wonder whether he gets mummy dearest to wipe his arse for him".

You hit the nail on the head Janos.

Yes, what a wankstain on the face of humanity this 'man' is.

She will always take him back, this just proves it really doesn`t it.

I would never stop them seeing DD nor would i stop that usless (bleep) but i know DD does love him even if she wont give him a kiss or coudle.

DDs not to fussed when he is around, but mind you he only stops for an hour or so and thats probably why!

He doesnt know what hes missing out on, and if he does he doesnt care.

I try not to let his selfishness get me down as there isn`t any point.

He will carry on like this now for the rest of his life (i think anyway)

He hasnt got a clue what hes doing to DD all he cares about is her himself and money!!

MoaP. I hope you can get yourself away from that trailer trash family.

If MIL gives you any shit about visitation tell her you don't want your babies to turn out like the losers her sons have become..

I would have a fucking field day with these people.

They are so lucky to be dealing with a sweetheart like yourself.

Stay calm and explain your concerns to him but if he starts acting like a dick and you get scared call the police. We are here for you as well.

You have a good head on your shoulders and a good heart..you are an amazing mum. You may be surrounded by assholes at the minute but that will pass.

Be strong.

thank you so much i am trying my best, i always will.

I will never let my DCs go without, and i will never let them down.

Thats a promise i can keep forever!

Your ex sounds exactly like my wankstain BIL who I threw out of my house this time last year.

When his mother was dying of cancer he was living with her...just the two of them in that house.

He was 20 years old..no job...just played football and play station all day with his mates. She couldn't feed herself or manage the house once her cancer spread. She deteriorated fast. BIL did not contribute to the household financially.

My husband was going over there 4 or 5 times a day to help out and feed her and clean up after his brother. My MIL was embarrassed at the state of her house and didn't want the macmillian nurses to come.

My husband works fulltime in a stressful job..had a sick wife who had just given birth and was in and out of hospital (me) and three babies under the age of 5. BIL refused to lift a finger..he was too busy with the football and the playstation.

My BIL complained about his mum not doing his ironing and him not having any clothes. BIL wanted to know why I couldnt get off my fat arse and come around to sort it out for him. I have no family around to help and had mega post natal health issues and 3 babies to care for myself. I did get over there as often as I could to feed her and make her comfortable, dragging the 3 babies with me. MIL died shortly after.

When I pointed out to my DH that his brother is a twit...I got called a bitch and we nearly divorced over it. At that time MIL had passed and BIL was freeloading off of us and living in my house.

I am rambling but the whole point is that these wankstains have to have enablers in their lives that help them act like twits. They never had anyone who had the guts to put them in their place. My MIL and my DH spoiled BIL very much. DH still thinks that I was too hard on BIL when I kicked him out shouting "fucker" at him.

I can imagine that your ex-p had the same sort of upbringing.

Mums let's not make these mistakes with our own boys.

I had a whole thread on this last year when DH nearly through me out of the house and divorced me because I demanded his brother go and or treat me and my house with respect.