i don`t think i can take this much longer

[mummyofaprincess]

People might know my story from my other thread on here,

I found out my partner was cheating on me via a message on his phone form OW.

He left me, DD (3) and my 6 month bump.

Well i wanted to try he never even gave us chance he looked me in my eyes and said he loved her and wanted her, hes 26 shes 17.

He had brought her back to our place, he admitted this about 2 weeks ago now.

Well now ive found pictures of them together and its really cut me up, i cant believe it.

He looks so happy

How could he do this to me, we was together 7 years.

If it wasnt for my dcs then i dont know what i would do, i really hate myself, i keep asking myself why me?, it doesnt help that she`s younger and much better looking, thinner got a job with my xp etc

Why would she want my xp when she can have the pick of the croud?

Will this get any easier, its only been just over 5 weeks but i`ve come along way since then, but this has made me step back like 10 thousand steps

thank you janos, well his mom has rang me and said that he is leaving theres this weekend and they are so angry with him as they have lent him there car this past 2 days and they asked him if they could borrow theres as they have a flat tyre to get another tyre for replacement, he said no im busy all day and then ive got work.

He is all for himself and he is digging himself a hole with them aswell, when his mom called his dad was having a go at her about it, it was horrible to hear them argueing over a waste of space

Well im not having the money off him now and the csa will be notified so they can set up a standing order etc, im not having him treat me this way when i don`t deserve it.

He can see his daughter but i will make sure he takes her out on her bike and thats it i dont want him in my home anymore, he cant talk to me like shit infront of my DD, thats final, if he wants to take me to court then so be it, but i will fight touth and nail to stop him taking DD to see her, if i loose on that then i will have to deal with it somehow

Thank you for your reply it does mean alot how is your DS? x

borrow his sorry

Document that you feel he is bullying and scaring you and tell CAB, your solicitor and whomever. Gosh Moap. I am actually speechless.

Hi well he hasnt called just yet, he will probably leav it till tonight when hes at work as he doesn`t like using his credit!!

Im going to his moms for dinner tomorrow and i hope hes not there at any point tomorrow, if he does pop in for some reason then i will take him to one side and say to him about the money that i wont be taking it and that he can still see DD but out my home, i will also say that if for any reason he has to step into my home then that phone goes off straight away or he will be leaving that very minute.
I will also say i dont want to hear anything about his life, car, her, his new home, work or anything else that doesnt concern our DD or LO.

Last night i had a very long think when i was in bed about the way he has treated me and yes i know its partly my fault really, he will be so angry with me when this is all said.

I dont want anything from him anymore, not that hes given me anything anyway.

I feel that he has lost all of his family now, he only had his parents left really and now they can`t stand him, All his own doing!!!

My DS is great thank you MOAP. Staying with his Dad at the moment so I enjoyed a lie in this morning until 9.30!

I agree with AnneMayesR that you should document everything he does and says. Even if you are just writing it down.

You are dealing with so much and keeping it all together when many people would have collapsed. Wow, that is something to really be proud of. You are GREAT!

"I feel that he has lost all of his family now, he only had his parents left really and now they can`t stand him, All his own doing!!!"

Absolutely. That says a lot about what sort of a person he is.

Im so glad you got a lie in, mind you DD was in bed last night at 8 and she didnt get up till 9 this morning

We are at my dads and step moms and my step mom has just made me a lovely bacon sandwich so i`m off for a short while

I`m sure i will have something to put soon when xp calls

Enjoy your Saturday MOAP. Hope it all goes OK. Finger crossed for you x

He hasnt called just texted so not to bad, but i have still got to talk to him but this can wait till tomorrow

his mom just called and now i`m fuming...

Well he isnt moving out this weekend now hes not moving in till the 14th of this month, after he has treated his mom and dad like shit this week they are still putting up with it!!!

I know they are his parents but they say to me things like im not putting up with this and hes defenatly moving out this weekend and that they want him out etc etc

Well they also have just told me that xp asked if she could stay some weeks ago snd they said no but he brought her back to his moms anyway and this has happend a few times without him admitting that to them, but they know about it and guess what they haven`t done anything about it!

I feel like telling them now that i don`t want to know any more...

I have had enough of the lot of them its feels like they are are laughing at me behind my back and that i`m this stupid idiot who will just put up with it.

I am ment to me going to theres for dinner tomorrow xp wont be there but i really can`t face them right now, they make me sick saying they wont put up with this yet they do fuck all about it!!

I know he`s there son, but who in there right mind would put up with his shit and still let he live there happily!!!

I really hate this right now and to be honest i wished i never had to see anyone of them ever again!!!!

Tell them that you don't want to know about him unless it to with your children.

Can you ask them (not including xp) to yours for dinner tomorrow.

Hi lizziemun i could do this yes but i am really fuming with them right now, i really don`t need this.

They say they are on my side (i never asked them to be) yet they have done nothing to stop him doing this.

I think it might be best if i make an excuse later and just not go tomorrow, as i feel like i`m going there and they are talking about me to xp behind my back (sort of trying to find out whats going on in my life iyswim?)

I hate xp right now and his parents are not helping by lieing to me!

They should have just said look he`s my son and i will stand by him, instead of trying to keep me sweet.

They say they don`t talk about OW yet they seem to know an awful lot about her and "him and her" also what happening about her rent when she gets her new place

I am actually thinking right now that they have met her, as they know she has stayed more then once....

They arnt going to tell me the truth are they

Oh moap, so sorry you are having a bad time. I have noticed from your posts you are getting stronger by the day. Don't forget that.

Unfortunately, his parents may well have backed down, especially if he's spun them some tale about how/why he can't move out. From what I gather he can can't lie straight in bed, never mind tell the truth.

It might not be that they are talking about you behind your back (although obviously I don't know that for certain) but it could be that they know a bit about OW as he probably witters on about her all the time (as he has done to you) and he probably asks his parents how you and dd are getting on when you've visted/spoken in some odd way of trying to be 'involved' - though he would know better if he was bloody invovlved properly.....

Understandbly you are miffed with them, it might be better to re-arrange the dinner to another night.

sorry about spelling, annoyed at your ex and i don't even know him!

muthahubbard his mom had said to him about me and DD going to dinner tomorrow and his reaction was "she will be moving in next" the same thing was said when he said where are you on the phone to me in the week and i said whats it to you anyway??

I really dont know what goes on in there home and i guess im just guessing but its all hurting me right now.

They know how i feel about him and OW all the lies etc and it just seems like they are letting him get away with it to keep the peace, yet they moan about it

I will have to tell them i dont want to know anything about xps life with her, as he had told his mom and she told me this house they have got is s lovely inside etc etc and it does hurt knowing he`s ahving this bloody happy life while i have to deal with all this shit

Please write down all these violent episodes and your daughters reaction to them..they may be useful

Don't listen to your mil anymore - you have enough to concentrate on

You need to try and concentrate on you and the baby and dd.

have you plans? who will be with you at the birth?

I really would only engage with him in writing.

I was going to ask xp to be at the birth as it will be a planned c/s but now i hav made plans for a family member to be there instead.

I have been writeing all this down, as i know xp is getting to the point of saying forget this i`ll just take you to court, thats his answer to everything...

Its sad to think once he was a good man, weird how things change so fast

My best mate has been to court over the same stuff and it is not plain sailing - I would try for relate/mediation.

But also don't be scared of his threats - tell him to do as he wishes

My brother has a hateful line which I am sure you could use...'If that's what you want to believe'

Your x gave up the right to be at the birth of your lo when he left you

i really don`t know what would happen to his rights if he took me to court over DD and LO.

He works shifts made up onto a rota, so no 2 weeks are the same, so i havent got a clue what access he would want

He does want DD over night in this new house, with "her" DD has never met her and this is my choice so far, they are also house sharing with "her" best mate so it wont be like its just them two looking after DD, also anyone could be dropping round iyswim.

I haven`t got a clue what would happen at court, but i wont show him this when i see him i will act like if he takes me to court then i will know my rights.

CAB will let me know my rights and his i`m sure

how old is he?

Hes 26

It is probably best that you try not to spend as much time with his parents at the mo. Like you say they've moaned to you about what an arse he is but then allow him to get away with it.

They are probably trying to keep the peace and keep everyone happy but RL doesn't always work like that.

If he is threatening the court thing then you are totally right to act like you know your stuff and that you don't care if he does. He may well end up with having a lot of hassle, cost and less access then he is wanting (or pretending to others he wants in an attempt to show that he's not a crap dad.....arse)

I hope it doesnt come to court in one way as i dont want to put DD through that, but i know if this was set up then he has to stick by the rules etc

He hasn`t even mentioned seeing DD and he has only seen her once this week.

He doesn`t care anymore all he cares about now is himself and her.

DD and LO come last and its not fair, but theres nothing i can do to change this

Have to say I am not surprised at his parents. Maybe they just feel caught in the middle.

Probably the best thing you can do for you MOAP is just concentrate on yourself and DD and getting through each day as it comes.

Tell you what I would advise seeing a solicitor. I'm sure you would qualify for legal aid and you should be able to dfind someone who will give the 1st half hour consultation free.

No doubt CAB can help you with that.

What an arse..sigh...