Dating thread 223; Fresh starts and love hearts

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@BelladiMamma looks like that glam underwear worked a treat!

I’m 5’5 and there’s not much of me in general 😅 so most guys are bigger than me! Not keen on skinny guys though even if I’m skinny 😄

@WeWantTheFinestWines being stalked by chickens sounds fabulous!!

Im currently at war with squirrels!! 😠 I love putting food for the birds down and I’ve got 4 pesky squirrels now that come and just take everything! Driving me mad. Anyone know a good method to keep the buggers at bay?? I’ve got an ultrasound thing out there but it doesn’t seem to faze them. 😒

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Morning all. Having been dragged out of bed at 5.30 and then again at 7 by the dogs I'm looking after, I'm reminded of having small children and how I don't miss being dragged out of bed by excited and attention seeking beings. My weekend will consist of dog walks, dog cuddles and being stalked by chickens.

My house sit has been a period of solitude, which has made me miss human company at times. Which has made me think about Mr Favourite Place. I'm at risk of forgetting that I don't fancy him and we had said we'd chat after a few days. Which is round about now. So I have to be careful not to feel lonely and needy and suggest a date, but remember that I actually only want to be friends at this point.

Can't really go back on the apps until I'm in a position to meet up with someone, which I won't be able to do until March. I'm back in my house Tuesday night and looking forward to seeing the DC who I miss. And they're teenage boys so only get in touch when they can't find something so I'm feeling very separated from them.

I'm definitely the Gina Ford of the dog world. They get crated overnight and have the same routine. One of them is sick at the moment though so he's getting extra nighttime checks and cuddles. It's one of the reasons I don't enjoy having them on holiday as not everywhere has crates and they just constantly bother you in a new place the little/large minxes

Oh yes I totally hear you about MrFP. Maybe if you have a chat and he says he's up for a a lighter style of thing that could work? So hard if you really don't fancy him though. As you'll be duty bound to stop looking I suppose? I really hoped it would work for you!! Damn!!

And I hear you re the sons. I have very sporadic contact with my DS and this has reminded me that I need to put my regular Sunday call back in place with him

[quote Eesha]@BelladiMamma looks like that glam underwear worked a treat![/quote]
He he I also sent him the more x rated version of those pics I sent you 🤪

To be fair if I'm on a date date or even just a night I'm hoping to get lucky I always wear some x rated lingerie even if I'm just in jeans. There's some really good quality comfortable stuff out there that's advertised by diverse body shapes and I'm all for that

[quote Eesha]@BelladiMamma I really don't understand the rules so one of my children tested positive on Monday morning, so I'm guessing today and Sunday are testing dates. I tested positive on Wed though could have had it earlier but didn't test. Other child tested positive Wed too. So can I just test them both this weekend in the hope they can both get back to school Monday. Or do I test according to this 5/6 day rule and send them at different times. Arghhhhhhhh![/quote]
Ask the school? They must need to know the rules even if we don't 🤷🏻‍♀️

always wear some x rated lingerie even if I'm just in jeans. There's some really good quality comfortable stuff out there that's advertised by diverse body shapes and I'm all for that

Your’re such a sex kitten ! What website ?

I went to hinge and my heart fluttered at 5 likes
Go me I said ! Some new irons !

Then I saw they were 23 , 24, 21, 28 and 26
🙈🙈🙈

@Thisisworsethananticpated

always wear some x rated lingerie even if I'm just in jeans. There's some really good quality comfortable stuff out there that's advertised by diverse body shapes and I'm all for that

Your’re such a sex kitten ! What website ?

I went to hinge and my heart fluttered at 5 likes
Go me I said ! Some new irons !

Then I saw they were 23 , 24, 21, 28 and 26
🙈🙈🙈

I'm more of a sex cat these days but my lovely MrD told me I looked like Vesper Lynd last night and I'm not one to argue 🤪 with my date. I mean why wouldn't I be smitten with someone who thinks I look like that 💘

I get things from a brand called obsessive on boux Avenue or things from Mayfair stockings ... all generously proportioned and you can move around quite happily. I'm also a big fan of Wolford which is more expensive but amazing quality

I put it down to being half French. The Scottish side of me is all about anoraks and sensible shoes, all of which I also own 🤪🤷🏻‍♀️

@Thisisworsethananticpated

always wear some x rated lingerie even if I'm just in jeans. There's some really good quality comfortable stuff out there that's advertised by diverse body shapes and I'm all for that

Your’re such a sex kitten ! What website ?

I went to hinge and my heart fluttered at 5 likes
Go me I said ! Some new irons !

Then I saw they were 23 , 24, 21, 28 and 26
🙈🙈🙈

Hinge and Feeld are really bad for that

I did end up having a couple of flings with guys in their 30's cos they had good chat and were nice guys but they're not always in the same place financially or emotionally

Having said that within our family there are some very happy marriages with big age gaps, my Mum's husband is 10 years younger than her and my uncle's wife is 25 years younger than him! Both marriages are of long standing and very happy. Go figure 🤷🏻‍♀️

[quote ButterflyOfShay]@WeWantTheFinestWines being stalked by chickens sounds fabulous!!

Im currently at war with squirrels!! 😠 I love putting food for the birds down and I’ve got 4 pesky squirrels now that come and just take everything! Driving me mad. Anyone know a good method to keep the buggers at bay?? I’ve got an ultrasound thing out there but it doesn’t seem to faze them. 😒[/quote]
I'll send my dogs over. This is their full time job at home 🤣

@Yellowhighheels @ibelieveinmirrorballs I think there is a definite things with academics and their phds, junior research colleagues. I've seen it happen loads and I think it's almost regarded as a perk of the job. You get to be around young people who want to impress you! It must be a power trip / turn on for a lot of them.

@BelladiMamma I love Wolford! Sooo nice.

I managed to wake the cat up and she half arsedly chased one. The squirrel was obviously very put out and was making those funny angry chipmunk noises at us from 30 feet up 🤣🤣

I really like Gossard Glossies for my everyday underwear but occasionally splurge at Agent P/Myla/Coco de Mer.

@BelladiMamma yes it’s a whole other world and interesting to observe. I work closely with academics in an “I’m the client, deliver me a project” way and quite enjoy that side of it rather than the “I’m in a relationship with one, now I have to sit here and listen to him talk about his latest published paper for 40 minutes” kind of way 😝

I did ask MrM at our last dinner if he’d ever ‘gone there’ with a student and was relieved, although not surprised, to hear the answer was no.

@BelladiMamma that's really interesting about the age gaps in your family! Do you have any idea how those relationships came about (if you don't mind sharing)? It's really surprising to hear about a younger man and older woman together.

I'm a 5'6 and a 12-14 so not hugely tall but definitely broad and big boned.

You're my size twin. I have broad shoulders but not sure I'm otherwise big boned. I'm sort of solid. I put on weight in my middle and lose my waist, so I try to keep my weight in check.

People do tend to describe me as "slim" though. Or, in my mum's case, "slimish"!

I don't ever feel "delicate" like women are supposed to be. I'm very independent which men think they like, but then don't.

I'm also fairly plain looking, round face, glasses (no, I can't get laser eye surgery ex, fuck off. Nor can I wear contacts), straight brown hair in a chin (ish) length bob that goes flat on top and bushy at the back if I let it grow too long but looks ridiculous short so really no way to change my hair other than my parting and the colour a bit (but I don't want things that make me high maintenance).

Having said that, I currently have twenty two matches on Tinder. Of whom three have exchanged messages with me. Maybe I'll message all the others this afternoon "hi, how are you" and delete them if they don't respond by the end of tomorrow.

I've got a guy on Feeld asking me for no strings sex.

One of my bestie’s husband is 15 years younger than her. They’ve been married over 10 years and met on a train!!

Although I’m about as tiny as they come, I still do prefer a more ‘filled out’ guy - more to grab on to. But not into a huge beer gut. With height anything above about 5”6 is fine for me. I think that’s an advantage as I’m happy to date just about every height most guys come in.

Although Mr Beard is an academic, he’s more of a manager/teaching focused one, so he’s never talked about his latest research paper! And doesn’t talk about any phd students. I seem to have got off lightly.

I’ve discovered this week that he is quite into underwear so I’m thinking about buying some more of it for the first time in years! It’s been a lovely Saturday of seaside walks, cake, coffee and lots of snuggling in bed.

I feel skinny shamed @ButterflyOfShay

You can get rid of your squirrels by going to the zoo and asking for some giant squirrel poo and scattering that around your garden ... maybe 🤔

I've got a guy on Feeld asking me for no strings sex

May I ask , how to do that and feel safe ?
How do people safety risk assess for this , the ones that do it ?
I’m tempted but - chicken shit ! as safety and mental health risks
Is there any way to minimise that ?

@Thisisworsethananticpated the more experienced fabbers and feeld'ers will have better ideas than me but when I've done the casual thing I've taken a little time to get to know the guy a bit and met up on neutral ground for a "social"/ date zero first, to establish chemistry and get a feel of them (not like that 😂).

@Thisisworsethananticpated
Can I be really rude and ask why you are looking for NSA sex ?

The reason I ask is that ms W is asking me for a meet-up and I’d like to know what she is thinking?

Is the actual physical act you miss or more the “togetherness”, you get with someone when together?
Or some other thing?

curmudgeonly007
Fuck knows mate ! I suppose I’m horny , have intimacy issues and the thought of a relationship is overwhelming . Especially with my kids who don’t get enough attention as it is

The reason I ask is that ms W is asking me for a meet-up and I’d like to know what she is thinking

You could be direct and ask , but when we do this we open ourself to an answer we might not like? But you have to ask surely at some stage