Dating thread 223; Fresh starts and love hearts

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I had one who messaged saying he hoped I’d die alone when I didn't want to meet up again.
Dropping dead would definitely been nicer than seeing that particular specimen again!

Oh wow ladies
Mine wasn’t that bad 😂
Jesus alive 🙈

@Heartbeats0708 my problem is he embellishes things, which is probably why I don't believe him. He lied about his age when we first got together, he exaggerates stories, he even made up some story about how I got my cricket ball (I found it in a pub toilet in Leeds,after England played the West Indies at Headingly, not him. To think Kevin Pieterson and Freddie Flintoff may have touched it 🤩😆). I can imagine it's scary being told you have something on your lung, but until they do a biopsy, how do they know it's cancerous.

As for Mr Cricket, there are definitely boundaries now, but he needs to reply; otherwise, I might just be busy tomorrow and not ask again. I know we are still both struggling a little but unless we actually sit down and talk (i mean the messages are nice and all but he needs to stop hiding behind being busy with work) , we're never going to get past it properly.

It’s fascinating how there is something about attraction/compatibility that we can only understand with face to face contact, and even an exciting video call is sometimes no indicator of how things will go. What was missing this time do you think?

Pheromones, innit!

@VanGoghsDog

It’s fascinating how there is something about attraction/compatibility that we can only understand with face to face contact, and even an exciting video call is sometimes no indicator of how things will go. What was missing this time do you think?

Pheromones, innit!

Well… er yes 😆 But I don’t think it’s just that.. it’s the three dimensional physicality and not just about pheromones. I’ve had dates where there was something just a bit too “I iron my pants” about him that put me off and wasn’t discernible in the video call.

@WeWantTheFinestWines

The thing I would worry most about is him stipulating how to behave if you want a relationship.

Yes! That's exactly it! It seems controlling. Potentially.

@Eesha @BelladiMamma @Thisisworsethananticpated

Re not being excited about the video chat with this guy/in general: it would be like a miracle for me to be very impressed or excited by someone on date one. I've always been a very slow burn kind of person!

BUT I wasn't left smiling, either, which maybe would be possible. Sounds like a good test!

"I’ve had dates where there was something just a bit too “I iron my pants” about him that put me off and wasn’t discernible in the video call"

Love this description! The difference between video calls and real life clearly bears some consideration.

Sorry the date was a bust @Thisisworsethananticpated. Quite weird he wouldn't even make an effort to choose somewhere nice!

I don’t think i’ll ever leave. I’ll probably still be single 85 yrs old in a care home posting on the dating thread on mumsnet
This made me laugh out loud and brighten the start to horrible day 😀

Off to blockity blocksville
And this! 😀

@Thisisworsethananticpated - It's disappointing isn't it when you've had the flirty chat and chemistry through messages. I've been here far too many times so now avoid any real sexy chat until we can actually meet.

something just a bit too “I iron my pants” about him
Oh so you have meet me then…

Seriously, what does this mean?, and no I don’t iron my pants (I’m a boxer brief kinda guy, )

@Thisisworsethananticpated having been on this thread for ages, the biggest takeaway for me is to meet ASAP and avoid flirty chat till you do. I think meeting is the only way to see if there's a real spark.

@ButterflyOfShay @Thisisworsethananticpated I'm one who tends to joke around and break the ice. Mr Music just made a point that I do it in a bit of a defence way, ie to avoid serious chat about feelings. He's actually right and I've been more aware of when I do it now as not everyone is like this. Hes a funny guy but can be very intense with serious subjects. We are still doing daily 3hr chats and I'm very excited to see him next week (if I'm better). Interestingly it's slightly less flirting because real life has been a bit stressful for us both but still very deep chats about our pasts.

Covid symptoms seem to have been a 24hr thing for the children, I'm just a bit congested though. Hoping it doesn't get any worse.

I came home after bad date and ate
One tortilla
Two red wine
4 mince pies
And a toastie

I was the bad date version of the hungry caterpillar !!!

This thread has really helped me actually
I’ve been lurking since the summer and it’s good to see others experiences and fundamentally develop a very very thick skin

I like your style @Thisisworsethananticpated!

@curmudgeonly007

something just a bit too “I iron my pants” about him Oh so you have meet me then…

Seriously, what does this mean?, and no I don’t iron my pants (I’m a boxer brief kinda guy, )

Think it just means prissy, or up tight.

@ButterflyOfShay yo! Visitors and behind on work 😬🤓 so will check in later on.

I THINK there’s a spare opera ticket going Monday night though I’m not sure

so maybe we could aim to get @Isitreallyme12777 in @BelladiMamma

Yo yo @ReturnOfTheBunk! 😁

[quote Eesha]**@Thisisworsethananticpated having been on this thread for ages, the biggest takeaway for me is to meet ASAP and avoid flirty chat till you do. I think meeting is the only way to see if there's a real spark.

@ButterflyOfShay @Thisisworsethananticpated I'm one who tends to joke around and break the ice. Mr Music just made a point that I do it in a bit of a defence way, ie to avoid serious chat about feelings. He's actually right and I've been more aware of when I do it now as not everyone is like this. Hes a funny guy but can be very intense with serious subjects. We are still doing daily 3hr chats and I'm very excited to see him next week (if I'm better). Interestingly it's slightly less flirting because real life has been a bit stressful for us both but still very deep chats about our pasts.

Covid symptoms seem to have been a 24hr thing for the children, I'm just a bit congested though. Hoping it doesn't get any worse.[/quote]
Daily 3 hour chats!! World record holder for chatting @Eesha 😅

[quote Eesha]**@Thisisworsethananticpated having been on this thread for ages, the biggest takeaway for me is to meet ASAP and avoid flirty chat till you do. I think meeting is the only way to see if there's a real spark.

@ButterflyOfShay @Thisisworsethananticpated I'm one who tends to joke around and break the ice. Mr Music just made a point that I do it in a bit of a defence way, ie to avoid serious chat about feelings. He's actually right and I've been more aware of when I do it now as not everyone is like this. Hes a funny guy but can be very intense with serious subjects. We are still doing daily 3hr chats and I'm very excited to see him next week (if I'm better). Interestingly it's slightly less flirting because real life has been a bit stressful for us both but still very deep chats about our pasts.

Covid symptoms seem to have been a 24hr thing for the children, I'm just a bit congested though. Hoping it doesn't get any worse.[/quote]
Daily 3 hour chats!! World record holder for chatting @Eesha 😅

It’s fascinating how there is something about attraction/compatibility that we can only understand with face to face contact, and even an exciting video call is sometimes no indicator of how things will go.

I was chatting to someone last year, ( chatted too long tbh), similar ages, backgrounds, educational levels, outlooks on life, job levels, etc, all really positive, with 10 minutes of meeting we both knew there was just nothing, no attraction from either sides at all.
That was a real low point, as I’d really build it up in my head, very disappointed in that one (not her fault)

curmudgeonly007

Last year I got totally fixated on a guy overseas
Ina deeply unhealthy way
Anyway ….

As I left that shit date yesterday, my top thought was just imagine if I’d travelled to see him or vice versa and we didn’t click sexually
It’s Terrible !!!

So weird isn’t it, you just can’t predict it at all

@curmudgeonly007 i did similar. I think that the guy was still keen, but there was no way I could date him. Following that disappointment, I took another long hiatus from dating.

Why is it so hard!

I actually remember my very first Internet date, chatted way too long and on the morning, he said he had told his boss he might be meeting 'the one'. It suddenly dawned on me that there may not he an attraction and I panicked. Lo and behold, I didn't fancy him and I learnt a big lesson!

@ButterflyOfShay yes it's crazy isn't it, ius been 2 months and we have talked for 3hrs plus every day. Its mad.