Dating thread 223; Fresh starts and love hearts

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@curmudgeonly007

Another saying don’t quit ! im 49 and also looking for own age range !

We all wrinkle together 😀

Eesha
@teesguy does she know you might be seeing others whilst sleeping with her?

No, we haven't talked about it. I have no idea if she is talking to / seeing other people either.

I'm 52, my search range is currently 45-55. No luck so far but it's only been just over a week.

Had a couple of live ones in the week, one who I found attractive from his photos and easy to message just disappeared after a few evenings messaging, but I'll not take it personally as I did the same to another as found the conversation very boring/stilted.

I had success at 49 and 50 so hoping it and I haven't deteriorated too much in a year 🤣

Hello - I was last on just before Christmas, when the charmer I'd been seeing for a year decided he couldn't live without Tinder. Got some amazing advice from everyone, and I've been trying to catch up with the thread so I can offer support rather than just receiving it.

Got back on Tinder a week or so ago - this is hard going... Finding it difficult as the previous guy ticked all the practical boxes, although clearly not the emotional ones if he was still swiping.

Met a guy today, Mr Crown, who was a little awkward initially but we got on well and I texted when I got home to say I'd be up for another meet if he was. He replied 'let's keep talking' and since then radio silence. So that's looking positive

Can't really find many others that interest me, but need to go back to the swiping, can'[t put all my eggs in Mr Crown's leaky basket.

Back to tryng to catch up with you all now!

@gelatodipistacchio
Don’t worry about, absolutely no offence taken, it’s just something that dawned on me recently.

Last couple I was chatting to looking in the 45 to 49 range ( and 1 lady was 51 ! ),

@curmudgeonly007 i find it quite distasteful when someone of either sex wants to go younger. It's surely not the norm for women!

@VivaVegas
I’m exactly the same, 52 and was looking 45-55, just almost nothing, may age was on my profile, (maybe I look a bit younger? ), but once they actually checked my age it was, “oh was looking for someone younger “, and poof, gone.

@gelatodipistacchio
I think you would be surprised at some the things women ask !

maybe it’s because 50 is seen a real landmark age, like 40 used to be 🤔

@gelatodipistacchio I'm 52 and looking 45-55. I don't see anything wrong with that and wouldn't say it unusual for a man or woman.

My last 2 relationships from OLD (6 months the first and a year the second) have been with guys in their late 40s. My EXH was a bit younger than me.

I met a few older guys on first dates last time round but just didn't find any of them attractive/have much in common.

I have a lot of friends younger than me, still play competitive sport and am fitter and more active than a lot of my peers. I think that's why I tend to find younger men more attractive and really want to meet someone who is still very active and sporty. Not proving easy so far!

I wouldn't go any younger I don't think. Although a good friend is 52 and her partner of about 6 years is 32 and they seem really happy. Each to their own I guess!

Great to hear about Mr Dublin @BelladiMamma! He sounds wonderful.

@InABetterPlaceNow sending you love ❤️

😘😘😘 to you all 🙂

Hi there I’ve dipped my toe back into online dating
Has anyone else noticed there are a lot of scammers using Icelandic profiles

Well, I caved and sent a touch base message. Which has been ignored.

Starting to feel very much like a dealbreaker to me. Time to start the grieving process and detach.

@InABetterPlaceNow Has he read it? 🤗

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards Nope, but has been online since.

And yes, I know he could be online for a number of other reasons... no point reading into it etc. I'm probably just being snippy because I'm hurting.

It just feels unfair to have been put in limbo like this and it's leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I don't think I was that awful to him.

I'm sure he'll reply at some point. We'll see.

He replied. Very polite. I'm rapidly noping out of the situation 😞

@InABetterPlaceNow, I’m glad to hear that he’s replied. I would try to step away from your phone now and do something to help you get to sleep. I’m sure it’s felt like a very long day today. You can regroup your thoughts tomorrow.

@Stepcount I was planning to soon. Just waiting on the tumble dryer to end. Has ended up with him offering to video call as I admitted to not being in a good place about us. Should at least give more clarity.

@InABetterPlaceNow that's shit! I've been there before and it's horrible. I'm so sorry.

Don't feel bad for hurting. I'm sure anyone would be in the same situation.

I know it's difficult, but I would take some time out for yourself tonight. Try and switch off for a bit and have a rest. Thinking of you 😘😘❤️

@InABetterPlaceNow

And I agree with @Stepcount. You need to give yourself space to think. ❤️😘😘

Oh @InABetterPlaceNow I'm so sorry, that sucks. Sending you hugs

Bleh. We're fine now 🙄 What a bloody waste of a day!!

He has fully admitted that he's been absolutely fine with doing the "let's be grown ups and work as a team together" when it's MY stuff coming up, and has utterly failed the first time his stuff has come up. He's apologised. Said he also phrased the texts badly, was only ever planning on taking one or two days and it wasn't ever really a "will we continue or not".

He said he went into shut down mode and he won't do it again - he'll talk to me like a grown up. He also said I very nearly got a text earlier today to ask if I wanted to come and talk face to face this evening then shut down again.

He said that he absolutely wants this to work, and sees what we have as something special.

What a numpty. I'm glad we managed to sort it out - was very easily done once we could actually talk it through.

Late night for me tonight, but will actually be able to sleep properly now 🙄

@InABetterPlaceNow

Bleh. We're fine now 🙄 What a bloody waste of a day!!

He has fully admitted that he's been absolutely fine with doing the "let's be grown ups and work as a team together" when it's MY stuff coming up, and has utterly failed the first time his stuff has come up. He's apologised. Said he also phrased the texts badly, was only ever planning on taking one or two days and it wasn't ever really a "will we continue or not".

He said he went into shut down mode and he won't do it again - he'll talk to me like a grown up. He also said I very nearly got a text earlier today to ask if I wanted to come and talk face to face this evening then shut down again.

He said that he absolutely wants this to work, and sees what we have as something special.

What a numpty. I'm glad we managed to sort it out - was very easily done once we could actually talk it through.

Late night for me tonight, but will actually be able to sleep properly now 🙄

Oh I'm glad things are better. But I do think this is a bit weird and worrying - I wouldn't want you to go through this again

@InABetterPlaceNow that's great that it all got sorted. Just keep in mind you were all set to throw in the towel during the day. I keep saying you both seem like heavy overthinkers so be careful that doesn't suck the fun out of your relationship.

@InABetterPlaceNow I’d be wary of giving him too much power. He knows now that when he cuts you off you’ll cave and contact him. I’d be really careful with that.
But glad you’re feeling better anyway x

@PurpleStripyScarf glad you have some peace of mind now, hope you got some restorative sleep.