Neighbour - should I report anything? Am I overreacting?

[Axolottie]

Our neighbour lives alone and is in her eighties. Her husband died just over a year ago. I would say both of them have/had dementia.

We used to hear the arguing through the wall every day. Always the husband shouting at her, and her pleading for him to stop.
She spoke to me once about protecting herself from him.
He died suddenly. I’ve always kept an eye out for details if a funeral - but there hasn’t been one, and she said to me a couple of months ago that she was having a lot of problems with the coroner.

My initial thought (and perhaps irrational thought) when he suddenly died was that - perhaps she did something??
Should I say anything to anyone or just butt out?
Another concern I have is that she told my partner she has a gun. She showed it to him, and it’s only an air pistol. She said she was going to shoot foxes with it - the issue is that she thinks there are foxes under a small bush in our front garden (there aren’t!). I have 2 children and - again maybe irrational - but what if she decided to shoot at an imaginary fox when we are out the front??
Partner thinks I’m overreacting??

If you are so bothered you could contact the Coroner and go to the inquest.

Good Lord, don’t feed it!

Where exactly do you think his body is? At home or in the mortuary?
Surely if the body has been removed and it's with the coroner then a post mortem will have been conducted to discover the cause of death in which case your theory of her bumping him off is disproved or she is clever & strong enough to get rid of a body.

So let me get this straight. You think a elderly woman with dementia killed her elderly husband who also had dementia and criminal genius that she is managed to hide the fact from the authorises who you know took away the body based on the fact that you can't find the details on line..

Honestly op , I think you're the one who needs help.

OP what is the outcome you want if you reported this 'suspicious' death?

This is the second bonkers air pistol thread in just a few days. Is someone having fun here?

OP what is the outcome you want if you reported this 'suspicious' death?

It sounds like OP is very paranoid (I think her partner would agree) and she doesn’t want the neighbour living there anymore so she’s hoping she’ll go to jail I assume.

Thinking someone has killed their husband, lied to the police/coroner and now are worried they’re going to shoot and potentially kill their children is extremely worrying behaviour.

Depending on where you looked for death registration it might not show up yet, depends where you look.
Anyone can phone the coroners office and enquire about a death.
( friend of mine lost a relative very suddenly and out of the blue, she’s still confused about death certificates, inquests etc.. I’ve put it down to shock)
The air rifle/ gun whatever it is I would be concerned about. She might have forgotten all about it now but might decide she’s got to rid the neighbourhood of foxes. A neighbour of mine had dementia and suddenly decided he was driving to work —- he’d retired at least 20 years earlier and had been stopped from driving for a few years.

I would be concerned about the gun
Is it legally held?.do you need a licence for an air gun.?

You have 2 children, listen to your gut and don't hesitate about reporting the gun/her mental state to the police.
Sorry you're getting such a tough time with some of the ridiculous 'pack' mentality on this thread.

@ListeningButNotHearing

You have 2 children, listen to your gut and don't hesitate about reporting the gun/her mental state to the police. Sorry you're getting such a tough time with some of the ridiculous 'pack' mentality on this thread.

Anybody who ignores actual domestic abuse that she can hear through the walls and yet wants to ring the police because she thinks the abused woman has murdered her husband, frankly, is getting off lightly.

I thought I’d just come back to this as I had such spiteful and ignorant replies.

Fortunately - I had a couple of great messages here by informed people, and a lovely private message.

I did contact the coroners office and they just got back to me. It is in the public’s interest and she gave me details of their findings which was reassuring.

They advised me to contact the police.

My concern could very easily have been that she was acting in self defence, and I could have had information to support that.

Also - her confusion over the coroner, her showing my DP a pistol are not ‘none of my business’ - she needs support.

Thank you for the supportive messages I had here.

Thanks for the update, OP.

You were right to trust your gut then OP. I think we really lose sight of that nowadays.

Ps I'm guessing you can't be more specific with what the coroner said?

You got details of the findings which is really what you were after from the get-go, as it was a case of being curious and needing to know. Glad your mind is now at rest but more so that you have the gossip you needed to be content.

The bigger and more relevant issue, that trumps your curiosity, is she needs support and it is good the police knows someone potentially unwell in this regard has an air rifle. The Coroner was not a place to flag that you believed there was a vulnerable person requiring support though. If this really was your ideal, you could have even done this while the DH was alive, or indeed anytime after he was gone being seperate and distinct from you needing to know details of his death.

@HoppingPavlova

Have to say - out of the spiteful responses I’ve had on here, your particularly struck me as you seem intent, at not only - hammering in the nail, but hitting it in a few more times to ensure that it hurt.

I hadn’t lived at the property for long, before she informed me that she was scared. I suspected dementia when I first met them. I’ve had one poster here saying ‘everyone argues’ and to mind my own business- and another saying I was ‘more than happy’ to allow abuse to happen.
I offered her support and told her to come to my house if she was scared. Had she done this, I think at that point I would have called the police.
It was probably about a month after she told me she was scared - that he died.
I actually think your accusations of gossip and god knows what else reveal more about YOUR thought processes than mine.

And to a certain extent, that did help because it made me question whether I was wanting to cause harm or support her.
If your interpretation of the situation is that my motivation is likely to be for negative reasons - to cause harm, for gossip, to ‘get rid’ of my neighbour - then I think you need to give your head a wobble. You appeared to get some kind of enjoyment from those repeated accusations too.
Again - thank you to the very kind and well informed responses I had here. It is very clear to see who wants to help/give good advice - and those who get some kind of pleasure in having a good kick.

They got back to you very quickly.

@fernyflax
8.38 this morning.
Satisfied?

You are far too invested in this.

I don't think you know what 'trolling' people is then clearly. If the coroner suspects foul play they will contact the police themselves. They are most likely telling you that as you have concerns. Not because its necessarily a reality.

You emailed the Coroner's Office on Saturday and they emailed you their "findings" straightaway this morning.

Presumably it's a standard "if you have any concerns then you should contact the police" rather than them giving you chapter and verse about the man's death?

@PAFMO

You emailed the Coroner's Office on Saturday and they emailed you their "findings" straightaway this morning.

Presumably it's a standard "if you have any concerns then you should contact the police" rather than them giving you chapter and verse about the man's death?

All their findings in that tiny email as well.

Wow that's a short email for detail of someone's death. Especially, since it includes the line 'if you have any concerns, you should contact the police.'

Which is a standard line. They aren't encouraging you to do so. They simply aren't allowed to put you off reporting if that's what you want to do.

Like mumsnet say 'if you have concerns about a post, please report', that doesn't mean there's a problem with the post. Or they are telling you to report a post to them.

Its very very odd, job proud you seem of yourself.

We used to hear the arguing through the wall every day. Always the husband shouting at her, and her pleading for him to stop.

So what did you do, did you call the police, worried that an elderly woman in her eighties was being abused. Or , did you wait until his death and try and get her into trouble or at least bring her to the attention of the authorities. Even if she had done something, which I very highly doubt, don’t you think she has suffered enough.
You sound obsessive, like really.