Utterly, utterly, heartbroken

[colouringindoors]

I know I'm not the first and won't be the last. It's nothing new.

But I honestly don't know how I can bear this

This morning my relationship ended. We'd only been "together" for six months, friends for 3 years, I've "liked" him for over 3 years. It has been wonderful. I could talk about anything and everything with him. He made me laugh, he's kind, we had lots in common and omg the chemistry was incredible. I really thought he was the person I'd spend the rest of my life with.

This came after separating from my husband of 20+ years 4 years ago and a huge amount of trauma due to ex's severe mental illness, ds severely ill, dd diagnosed ASD. The last 10 years have been horrendous apart from meeting new man, getting to know him and becoming involved with him.

I feel worse than I did when I separated from my husband. I've been unable to stop crying all day. I literally don't know what to do with myself.

How do I bear this?!

colouringindoors both my daughters have had substantial time out of school as well. They're both finding their way nevertheless. I hope you manage to sort things out for your son.

This morning (2 weeks since the breakup) I'm wondering if it's ever going to be possible to get over the sexual attraction and longing for him. I've never had such amazing sex before, and when images of us together flash into my brain it just makes me gasp with longing and I don't know if that's ever going to switch off. It scares me.

oh whisperingjesse massive sympathy. i am exactly the same. best sex of my life by fkn miles. Makes me ache thinking about it. I do think though that we can have that again with someone else. A wise person upthread talked about thse people being "the opener" and i think there's a lot in that.

It's really hard to cope with at the moment though.

thanks for comments re ds and school. had a good chat with him this morning, brain now melted again. I feel like i can only do a little bit of adulting at a time. brain fried, massive headache, start feeling overwhelmed. will reply properly to others later.

You are all wonderful.This thread is helping me immeasurably. Thank you.

Hi all. Just checking in. I feel crap today. Have a weird cold where my head feels like cotton wool and my ears feel blocked with ringing. Other than that, feel like a bag of crap. I feel I've slipped into a slump. I can't be bothered with anything at all.

oh scorpiogirly that sounds rubbish. Pretty hard to feel inspired with a horrible head cold. Can you get cosy with blanket, candle, hot choc, tv and just not move for a bit?

You need a sick day Scorpio
Sign off , rest and be an invalid x

Thisisworsethananticpated sorry to hear about your ds. I agree, massive state secondary schools do not suit many kids. I think you're spot on to focus on mental health and as you say, education does not Have to follow the standard yr7-11+ annual format.

Sympathies re the limerence issue. It is a really difficult thing to break free from. Is there anything you've found that helps? Do you have any other dates planned?

both my daughters have had substantial time out of school as well. They're both finding their way nevertheless

thank you. that's really helpful to hear.

Something about Saturday nights makes me Really want to message him. I still f**king miss him so much. But I won't 💪

How's everyone doing this morning?

I thought I was doing a bit better, but then I took the dog for a walk and went through the park where in the past I have walked holding hands with him. Got home and had a huge cry. I wonder how long it's going to take before it doesn't hurt so damn much.

Hang on in there
January isn’t exactly helping either
I’ve been weirdly thinking loads about limerence
And the fact I’m going to text him on his birthday
And how he’ll react
All
Day

It’s very hard to not think about people

When is his birthday Thisisworse? My ex's is coming up too in 2-3 weeks. I'm thinking I won't text him but I might feel differently by then.

February 19!

I’m not sure if my dating loads of guys technique is working !!

@Thisisworsethananticpated where are all the guys to date? I'm happy to go with the theory get under one to get over one but am having trouble finding them.

So I think we can only text for birthday if we agree that
No reply is possible
A bland reply is possible
The chance of the birthday text resuscitating anything (depending on what you want !) is ranging from 0 to 0.00000000001%

Boiledcabbages
Tinder and hinge , prefer hinge
But , my profile is clear I’m after more casual
And this weekend only 23-33 messaged me
The type I want (late 40s single dad ) are there but scarce

Age range

It’s very hard to not think about people

It Really is. Is anything any good for distraction?

WhisperingJesse seriously. Hope you're doing a bit better now x can only trust in the crying helping and time helping but so wish there was a shortcut.

The situation with ds and school.has been a distraction, albeit one that has really impacted badly on my mental health. Today Ive been back to missing him and feeling angry with him (which i guess is progress). I daydream about turning up on his doorstep, his wife answering and me handing her sonething as I say oh * left this at mine. I never would, I'm not that person (or brave enough!) Also another fantasy telling him to f**k off when in a couple of months time he gets in contact saying he's made a terrible mistake. All a bit bonkers but there we are. I haven't contacted him in 8 days so I'm not giving myself a hard time about silly fantasies!

urgh this 10.30 slot really is my worst time of day for missing him

@colouringindoors I have been reading through your post and hope you don't mind me jumping in here.

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. It is absolutely shit.

I've very stupidly recently got involved with a man I shouldn't have (I am married, he has a partner, both have kids). I know how wrong it is and so have blocked him. I feel so, so sick to my stomach with sadness. I took my DD out today and ended up crying in the car. I can't eat or sleep and found some comfort in your posts as it is utterly isolating.

I know our stories aren't alike but I guess we are feeling a similar sadness. I don't know how to go forward as he fills my head every moment of the day 😞

the only distractions that work for me are social interactions with adults
I come away mostly laughing and happy
Even work , office chat when I attend

Problem is often socialising involves alcohol

And online dating but I don’t think either of
You are ready for that yet !

Hope you get some face to face distraction today. Are you at work today?

My alarm went off when i was mid dream about having turned up at his house. Before that dream I'd had others with him in. Urgh really tough start to the day

I’m ok today lovely
Mondays and the busy help
I’m however very sorry that this fucker is now in your dreams
Mother fucker that’s annoying
Have as good a day as possible 💝