Utterly, utterly, heartbroken

[colouringindoors]

I know I'm not the first and won't be the last. It's nothing new.

But I honestly don't know how I can bear this

This morning my relationship ended. We'd only been "together" for six months, friends for 3 years, I've "liked" him for over 3 years. It has been wonderful. I could talk about anything and everything with him. He made me laugh, he's kind, we had lots in common and omg the chemistry was incredible. I really thought he was the person I'd spend the rest of my life with.

This came after separating from my husband of 20+ years 4 years ago and a huge amount of trauma due to ex's severe mental illness, ds severely ill, dd diagnosed ASD. The last 10 years have been horrendous apart from meeting new man, getting to know him and becoming involved with him.

I feel worse than I did when I separated from my husband. I've been unable to stop crying all day. I literally don't know what to do with myself.

How do I bear this?!

Morning all. I had a fair few dri ks last night and did something stupid, I sent him a friend request on Facebook twice and then cancelled them. Argh. I'm not counting it as breaking NC though. 14 days today.

Morning. Ah the dreaded drink... Well you cancelled them. Onwards and upwards. 14 days is really, really good. I'm on day 5. Bit more manageable, still have urges to contact but elastic band helping! Could do without dcs this pm and eve though. Just toooooooo tired.

@scorpiogirly

Morning all. I had a fair few dri ks last night and did something stupid, I sent him a friend request on Facebook twice and then cancelled them. Argh. I'm not counting it as breaking NC though. 14 days today.

Block him. Don't be tempted.

email from school re ds. he's not attending as much as he should. which i know. his father (my ex) is crap and thinks he knows best. I've told him, my son's specialist has. nothings changed. I can't take over his school stuff, not least cos i work 3 days/week. but it's tipped me over the edge

Sorry you're having a bad day @colouringindoors 💐

@Sandypanda thank you. Kinda don't want him to think I'm bothered enough to block him.

@colouringindoors that sounds really tough. Hope you're doing okay tonight. Hoe is everyone else? Had a really tough day/night. I really thought I would get some sort of explanation. It's pissed me off.

I haven't cried today - that's the first time. I could have done but I was too busy doing stuff and I couldn't.

@scorpiogirly oh I'm really sorry you've had such a shit day. It is really hard coping without an explanation, lots of unanswered questions. Can You decide on an explanation?

I ended up walking into GP practice this eve as started feeling like I couldn't take any more. I am lucky with my practice. Had a sit down with a GP for 30 mins. Now have my brother staying over. Feeling calmer now though.

@WhisperingJesse That is definitely progress!

@colouringindoors it's good that you can just walk in. Sorry you felt like that. There are brighter days ahead.

for all

whisperingjesse that is definitely progress

[quote colouringindoors]@scorpiogirly oh I'm really sorry you've had such a shit day. It is really hard coping without an explanation, lots of unanswered questions. Can You decide on an explanation?

I ended up walking into GP practice this eve as started feeling like I couldn't take any more. I am lucky with my practice. Had a sit down with a GP for 30 mins. Now have my brother staying over. Feeling calmer now though.[/quote]
I'm glad you've got a safe place to go to, there will always be someone on here to talk too, if things get too much.

You're doing great and you'll be okay x

@colouringindoors I'm sorry things are so hard. It's good that your brother could stay.

I’m sorry 😞 ladies
I also had a shitty day
Had a bad date which left me low and sad

I think the lack of closure is always a really hard one

Op I’m in a fantastic peer group for parents of mentally ill kids on Facebook
It’s a total lifesaver
We all post in bad days and get Support
Pm me
I would not have survived without it

Thanks. Was really nice having my brother here. So nice to have some lovely adult conpany and support.

Two weeks today since it ended. It has to get easier now.

@Thisisworsethananticpated maybe dating right now is a bad idea? I remember years ago when I was going through a bad break up and going on dates just made things much worse.

@colouringindoors glad you had a nice evening. Today is shaping up to be a bit crappy too. I have a night out planned tonight with the mutual friend and another mate. I'm kinda dreading it but also looking forward to it. It will be weird because the last time we went my ex was there.

No it’s ok
My gut feel was I lost a lot of time on this online thing
I’ve only had two dates , one was lovely and one is more a friend now
Il stop when it’s bad I promise !!!!

sending hugs scorpiogirly can you find something nice for this morning? piece of cake, crappy tv prog? I've started watching Gilmore girls after neighbour recommended it. It's fluff, but gentle and cheerful. It's good you've got plans for tonight. First time doing things you've done with him have to be hardest but then it'll get better. If nothing else can you have a therapeutic rant about him?

Thisisworsethananticpated respect! glad they've been positive experiences.

Well it's been cancelled for tonight
Other friend cant make it so will do it next week. I'm glad really as I have a weird stuffy head cold and it's freezing outside at the moment.

@Thisisworsethananticpated

No it’s ok My gut feel was I lost a lot of time on this online thing I’ve only had two dates , one was lovely and one is more a friend now Il stop when it’s bad I promise !!!!

Wow, good that you can face dating already. I don't know if I'll ever be able to face the possibility of this pain again, though I accept that I probably will eventually.

I've made up for yesterday's lack of crying by being in tears about 6 times already today. Not just about him - also about relief from work stress, reading stuff to heal from my past etc.

Off to get a long overdue haircut now so I hope that gives me a boost!

I’m not as heartbroken you as you lovelies
I had limerence for a chap online and as sad as I was it wasn’t real and physical (unfortunately )

But , I’ve applied the under one to get over one philosophy
With often disastrous results

WhisperingJesse hope the haircut helped and the crying has eased a bit (though better out than in)

thisisworsethananticipated your philosophy made me smile thanks!

meeting with ds specialist and exh got the desired results in the end though so so stressful. Ex got told to get ds into school more. i got asked by specialust and crisis team this morning why ex has responsibility for ds school attendance (ie why not me) tried to say i had a job and recovering from severe back injury... plus asd dd and other shit. There is only one of me and I'm totally burnt out already. but friends say it might be less stressful if i at least do the days im not working. not sure. i find getting ds to school stressful too. But his dad is useless. Very exhausted tonight and splitting headache. dd has friend round so can't just go to bed

don't know if I'll ever be able to face the possibility of this pain again, though I accept that I probably will eventually

ditto

How is the evening going for everyone? The day passed, didn't drag in too much. I'm feeling a bit numb. I run a small design business so I'm trying to keep busy with that at the moment. It's helping.

colouringindoors
I’m
Sorry about your som and school
My son hasn’t been really attending for a scarily long time
I’ve learnt that for many kids school , especially secondary , is a scary and stressful environment
Rightly or wrongly I’m not stressing too much and focussing in his Mental health
Education can and will follow

I’ve been low this week , my not so great date meant I’ve been totally obsessing about limerence guy again
I havnt and won’t message but it’s annoying
I want memm

Ignore last sentence !!!