Utterly, utterly, heartbroken

[colouringindoors]

I know I'm not the first and won't be the last. It's nothing new.

But I honestly don't know how I can bear this

This morning my relationship ended. We'd only been "together" for six months, friends for 3 years, I've "liked" him for over 3 years. It has been wonderful. I could talk about anything and everything with him. He made me laugh, he's kind, we had lots in common and omg the chemistry was incredible. I really thought he was the person I'd spend the rest of my life with.

This came after separating from my husband of 20+ years 4 years ago and a huge amount of trauma due to ex's severe mental illness, ds severely ill, dd diagnosed ASD. The last 10 years have been horrendous apart from meeting new man, getting to know him and becoming involved with him.

I feel worse than I did when I separated from my husband. I've been unable to stop crying all day. I literally don't know what to do with myself.

How do I bear this?!

How are you feeling and how is everyone? I'm looking forward to Corrie in a bit. Simple things.

Not so good this eve. Had enough. Exhausted by work. Fell asleep at 4.30 which doesn't bode well for aleeping tonight.

Sorry you're not feeling too good. I feel the whole day has been slightly depressing here. It was really sunny which made it worse. I also fell asleep this afternoon as did my daughter so she's going to be a nightmare to get to bed tonight for nursery tomorrow

It was something about the fact it was still light at 5 that upset me today. I usually love the lighter evenings but for some reason it just made me sad! Binging home improvement programs on Netflix at the minute, hoping to try an early night. It's the first day I've been tempted to text him. I didn't.

oh well done starylight that's seriously good going. Hope the Netflix binge is helping!

scorpiogirly grrr that's hard with a little one. Warm milky drink, bath etc worth a try?

@starylight I know what you mean. I'd much prefer it to be dark and rainy. Good on you for not texting him. He doesn't deserve anything from you. I've been watching true crime documentaries. Can't focus on films or series at the moment.

@colouringindoors definitely. Despite the nap I am still shattered.

Evening all. Day 6 here of no contact. Went to Zumba and then watched an episode of stay close on Netflix. Am now going to bed with a hot chocolate. Feeling surprisingly emotionless 😐 probably cos I'm knackered. Please god don't let me wake up at 4 again.

It's been a tough day for me. Anyone else still sobbing their hearts out a few times a day? It's exhausting.

I'm not tempted to contact him but every time I'm out I'm scared I will accidentally see him, and also everything reminds me of him.

@boiledcabbages well done. Day 11 for me and it definitely helps. Starting to feel a bit numb to it at times. Mutual friend seems to think he will be sending a message soon. I just had a text and I jumped. Before I looked at it I hoped it wasn't him. It wasn't. Part of me wants a conversation as I have unanswered questions but part of me really doesn't as it will set me back massively. I tried to talk to him about it last week when I broke NC but he wouldn't really talk about it so I don't know what has changed now.

@WhisperingJesse Sorry you have had a tough day. I've barely cried, only a few times here and there. I don't know why. I'm usually a crier. Maybe I've just had enough of being treated like shit by men I have no tears left for them. It will get better. How many days NC for you?

WhisperingJesse yes. Still sobbing here too. So sorry you're in this hellhole. So much reminds me of him too. I can't listen to any music which is usually a big part of my wellbeing. I see him in my house, I have vivid memories of our times together. Today I've especially been missing the physical affection. He always gave me a massive hug when we met. Never had to ask. Kissing him was amazing. As was everything else. I do miss the physical affection. I'm a very tactile person and had been starved if that for over a decade. Feeling very low tonight.

10 days since we split. 2 days since last contact. Not contacting him ever again. Hate him tonight.

Good. That's progress.

do. not. message. him.

Don’t message him. You know that in the end it will only make you feel worse. Set a 30 day challenge if it helps and tell yourself that you will allow yourself to message him after this time. I guarantee that you won’t want to by that point.

I won't. Thanks. My dd (ASD) is freaking out as she's worried about me. My ds (ptsd, fnd) is being bullied again. it never ends.

How old are they both?

dd17 but v young for age. ds13

i couldn't get to speak to gp due to boss being off at work. will try again tomorrow. not that she can do anything really but dont know what else to do.

Maybe they could adjust your medication or you could try a different kind? Maybe they could also give you something for anxiety alongside it. My GP did before.

Don’t message him. You know that in the end it will only make you feel worse. Set a 30 day challenge if it helps and tell yourself that you will allow yourself to message him after this time. I guarantee that you won’t want to by that point.

I think this is really good advice and I am going to use this suggestion myself.

yeah i switched to sertraline last year following serious and excruciating back injury. Has been good til this...

Keep trucking ladies
I had a horrible few days but more son related
He’s in a deep pit mentally right now

Op just call her , I agree that SSRI are wonderful but can’t prevent heartbreak like this

Just explain you’ve had a major set back , very worried about your mental state

Sometimes doing something to address it , it just helps x

Hi, I'm in a similar way. I'm 52 and the man I was see ing for 3 months ended it before Xmas. I was devastated. I'd not met anyone I felt so good eith in 6 years of being in a 25 year relationship. Ten years of that was difficult and loveless. This relationship was wonderful. He took me out on dates, we launched and talked so much.
He was the best person I'd met and if started to see that he was the person I wanted to send the rest if my life with. I as gong slowly, enjoying the dating and sex was wonderful. He ended it because things wee moving too slowly. I said things would change but he doesn't want anything to do with me. I'm devastated that my future has gone. He wanted more but I wasn't ready at the time. I just needed to take things slowly. I just don't understand it. It was a shock just before Xmas. I'm still reeling now.

Laughed, not launched!