Utterly, utterly, heartbroken

[colouringindoors]

I know I'm not the first and won't be the last. It's nothing new.

But I honestly don't know how I can bear this

This morning my relationship ended. We'd only been "together" for six months, friends for 3 years, I've "liked" him for over 3 years. It has been wonderful. I could talk about anything and everything with him. He made me laugh, he's kind, we had lots in common and omg the chemistry was incredible. I really thought he was the person I'd spend the rest of my life with.

This came after separating from my husband of 20+ years 4 years ago and a huge amount of trauma due to ex's severe mental illness, ds severely ill, dd diagnosed ASD. The last 10 years have been horrendous apart from meeting new man, getting to know him and becoming involved with him.

I feel worse than I did when I separated from my husband. I've been unable to stop crying all day. I literally don't know what to do with myself.

How do I bear this?!

yeah x

all book recs welcome esp if they're on audible as I'm to focus on reading

But owl op has a major backstory of trauma
So it’s all a mess and it’s bringing up other shit

Please be kind to someone is severe mental distress , it’s easy to type a post but you
Risk making someone more distressed

Please be mindful of that

I think we all deal with it differently. Some people are able to just brush it off and move on like nothing happened. Others take it really hard. The fact @colouringindoors is getting out and about, making plans and spending time with people is really positive. I am the complete opposite. I don't want to see anyone, do anything. I just want to be left alone, and I'm not sobbing day after day. We all deal differently. It hasn't been that long since the break up.

owlsanctuarydate

Wow.

[quote owlsanctuarydate]@over2021 I agree with you. OP this level of obsessive attachment is really unhealthy. I'm actually agog at some of what I've seen here. Constant sobbing is really OTT.[/quote]
Same. This whole thread is a bit worrying.

You guys don't have to comment!

Ignore the posts OP - everyone deals with grief differently, and it's completely understandable how upset you are when someone has been a big part of your life then gone x

To talk*

reporting to the Police FFS. Just maybe, stop posting.

Have spent pm at garden centre, bought plants, came home, planted plants. Walked 2 miles to pub with dd, had alcohol free beer. walked home. Set a fire. Shortly will call brother for chat.

Thanks to helpful posters and hope others struggling have survived the day.

@colouringindoors That sounds like you've had a fairly productive day! I hope your evening is the same. I've been finding once it gets to about 8pm that I start to struggle.

@scorpiogirly I actually haven't text him once. It's been so hard but I just can't let myself after the way he ended it. I'm not sure I'll ever know why he did it.

How dare you Children op?

Any chance of booking a wonderful holiday? Researching an then excitement.. nice distraction

Old

bollocks just lost my post.

@starylight that's incredibly strong. Evenings can be really hard. I'm around all eve if you want to chat. Planning to watch Pottery throwdown and Sue Perkins travelling round USA too.

Toanewstart22 thank you. I have a hol in Cumbria booked at Easter with my siblings and families which will be good. Planning a couple of days away walking with dd at half term.

That’s a good day op
I did a short exercise and loads of yoga which really helped

Ah yoga is good.

Hi Colouringindoors, I've only just found this and I haven't RTFT yet but I'm in exactly the same boat. The man I was dating broke up with me on Sat 8th Jan after 5.5 months of dating, and this was after I'd left my husband of 30 years.

I relate to everything you've said - the endless sobbing, the loss of the hope that this was going to be the happy ending etc. I'll catch up now with the rest of the thread but I've found it so helpful and encouraging so far, even to know I'm not alone in having such an apparently excessive reaction.

@starylight Thats amazing that you haven't contacted him. So strong. I don't think I could have done that.

@scorpiogirly It's been so incredibly hard but after 4.5 years all I get is a one line text to break up with me, I just think to myself what kind of man must he be? It's appalling behaviour. Maybe that's why I've managed to stick to the no contact (so far).

@WhisperingJesse aaaaahh I'm so sorry you're in the same boat. Tbh f**k those who think it's an excessive reaction. It is what it is. Keep posting if it helps, it certainly helps me and also knowing I'm not alone though I wouldn't wish this on anyone

@starylight what an utter shit. You are awesome 💪💪💪

@starylight it's absolutely despicable behaviour. No decent human would be able to behave that way.

I spoke to our mutual friend earlier. He went to exes house on Friday night, it's a weekly thing. He told me that my ex wants to talk to me, that he thinks of this every day and it's torturing him and that he does have feelings for me. Mutual friend asked him if he wanted him to pass this info onto me and he said yes. But funnily enough, I am still blocked on whatsapp. It's set me back today hearing this.