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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DP Arrested - Trigger warning DV

827 replies

WeyAyeMan · 31/12/2021 22:19

My dp well ex dp has been arrested and now charged with 5 counts of assault and 1 count of false imprisonment against me on Christmas Day, now remanded in custody till court on Tuesday. I'm a wreck and have severe trauma bonding to him. I'm missing him so much.

I'm around 7 weeks pregnant, home alone with our 8 month old baby and shaking in shock. Has anybody been through similar? The fear of unknown is making it worse.

OP posts:
Bunce1 · 17/02/2022 09:51

How is your week going? Any news about new housing?

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 17/02/2022 11:07

Just the same @Bunce1 all quiet. Nothing about housing, women in need txt me to see how I am, I replied and still no response from her. Havent heard from anywhere else either

OP posts:
Chickmad · 17/02/2022 22:01

Just caught up on your thread.

@WeyAyeMan you sound so much stronger.

I am sorry that Ss, housing etc seem so lacklustre in their response. It shouldn't be the case but they are spread too thin. It is sometimes a case of he who shouts loudest.

I was wondering if ACAS could give you advice about the maternity/sick pay business? There is a fair idea "Gobshite" may not be wholly up on all the intricacies of such a situation and you need to make sure you know where you stand legally. Alternatively do you have access to legal cover and advice on your household/contents insurance? Or sometimes some bank accounts offer it too?

I hope you are battened down against the storm due tomorrow. We are on the edge of the red zone here.

As for wild swimming it can be sea, lakes or rivers. I can see the River Wye from my house...in fact it is edging ever closer at the moment! And while my dog loves swimming in there I don't think I could!

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 17/02/2022 23:18

Hi @Chickmad I am feeling so much stronger, thank you

Really appreciate your advice. Yes I'll contact Acas to see what they advise. I'm dreading having to deal with the HR Gobshite but hopefully it can all be done via email. I'll do it tomorrow as I've been on zero pay for over a month now. Luckily still have savings but it's not sustainable.

As prepared as I can be for the storm. I hope everything is ok there for you and you stay safe. Take care

OP posts:
Comtesse · 17/02/2022 23:27

Try Pregnant Then Screwed for employment advice - keep trucking OP Flowers

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 17/02/2022 23:31

Thank you @Comtesse x

OP posts:
loopycurtains · 01/03/2022 08:49

Morning @WeyAyeMan. Haven't heard from you in a while. How is everything? Thinking of you.

dane8 · 31/03/2022 23:51

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Queenie6655 · 20/06/2022 22:16

Op just checking in
Hope all ok

ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 20/06/2022 23:17

@WeyAyeMan hoping everything is going ok for you, how’s your little girl doing? Are you sleeping better? xx

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 23/06/2022 20:47

@ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner @Queenie6655 @dane8 @loopycurtains

Thank you all for checking in on me. I've got a new phone and only just logged in. Doing well thank you, moving on and currently in trauma focused therapy. I'm 33 weeks pregnant now with another girl ☺️

My daughters doing amazing thanks. Right little character. God. Reading back on this thread is emotive, feels like I'm reading someone else's story. But, time has helped ☺️

OP posts:
Sapphirensteel · 23/06/2022 20:53

So glad to hear you and your little girl are doing well. You’ve come a long way and should be proud of yourself. Stay safe 💐

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 23/06/2022 20:59

Thank you @Sapphirensteel appreciate it. It's not been easy but I am proof there is 100% light at the end of the tunnel on those darkest days.

I feel so much more settled than I have in a long time

OP posts:
Queenie6655 · 23/06/2022 21:52

WeyAyeMan · 23/06/2022 20:47

@ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner @Queenie6655 @dane8 @loopycurtains

Thank you all for checking in on me. I've got a new phone and only just logged in. Doing well thank you, moving on and currently in trauma focused therapy. I'm 33 weeks pregnant now with another girl ☺️

My daughters doing amazing thanks. Right little character. God. Reading back on this thread is emotive, feels like I'm reading someone else's story. But, time has helped ☺️

You are amazing

You sound so much happier

Wishing you all the very best xxxxxx

loopycurtains · 23/06/2022 22:55

@WeyAyeMan Awww, so lovely to hear from you. Glad all is going ok and you are feeling settled. Have wondered often about you. Good to hear the pregnancy is going well too. We are still here if you have any wobbles too!

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 24/06/2022 07:36

Thank you so much @loopycurtains & @Queenie6655 how is your lovely little baby doing? Xxxxx

OP posts:
Mindymomo · 24/06/2022 08:06

Glad to read your update.

BornBlonde · 30/06/2022 19:45

Glad to hear you are all well

Swiminanglesey · 08/01/2023 19:57

@WeyAyeMan i so hope you and your girls are
ok…

thisisasurvivor · 09/01/2023 20:23

Hello op checking in xxxx

WillTimeCome · 09/01/2023 20:43

Just started reading this and didn't realise it was over a year old. What a horrible situation you were in OP and what a courageous person you are. Sending love and hugs x

WillTimeCome · 09/01/2023 20:50

Just started reading this and didn't realise it was over a year old. What a horrible situation you were in OP and what a courageous person you are. Sending love and hugs x

WillTimeCome · 09/01/2023 20:53

Just started reading this and didn't realise it was over a year old. What a horrible situation you were in OP and what a courageous person you are. Sending love and hugs x

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 11/01/2023 15:25

Hello sorry it's taken me a while to reply I don't really check this thread very often now. Very lovely of you all to send such kind words to me 🙂

I've never been able to read this thread again as it still feels too painful. But we are doing well. Have a fantastic therapist and preparing to return to work, finding a nice nursery for the girls.

It's not easy and I have a lot of anxiety about leaving them in a nursery. It's just the fact they'll be away from me I think, but it will be nice to have some form of a routine

Sending big hugs xx

OP posts:
billy1966 · 11/01/2023 17:23

So pleased for you.

What a great woman you are.

Your girls are very lucky to have you.

Stay well and every good wish for the future.

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