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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DP Arrested - Trigger warning DV

827 replies

WeyAyeMan · 31/12/2021 22:19

My dp well ex dp has been arrested and now charged with 5 counts of assault and 1 count of false imprisonment against me on Christmas Day, now remanded in custody till court on Tuesday. I'm a wreck and have severe trauma bonding to him. I'm missing him so much.

I'm around 7 weeks pregnant, home alone with our 8 month old baby and shaking in shock. Has anybody been through similar? The fear of unknown is making it worse.

OP posts:
Bunce1 · 09/02/2022 09:22

You’ve done loads!

I need to go shopping- story of my life.

Shame about not being able to sleep. That’s a killer. I wonder if you can take anything natural to help you?

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 09/02/2022 09:45

@Bunce1 I feel like I'm always shopping!
I've got a visit from the social worker today. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable but I haven't been that impressed with them or women in need. I kind of feel like I'm left to my own devices a bit. Which is fine, I'm feeling stronger. But still.

I've found moving my phone out of reach so that when I do wake up I don't pick it up is helping, I had a nightmare last night but managed to get back to sleep pretty quickly.

It's quite sunny and fresh here today. Might go for a nice walk, have a nice day x

OP posts:
loopycurtains · 09/02/2022 16:53

[quote WeyAyeMan]@Bunce1 I feel like I'm always shopping!
I've got a visit from the social worker today. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable but I haven't been that impressed with them or women in need. I kind of feel like I'm left to my own devices a bit. Which is fine, I'm feeling stronger. But still.

I've found moving my phone out of reach so that when I do wake up I don't pick it up is helping, I had a nightmare last night but managed to get back to sleep pretty quickly.

It's quite sunny and fresh here today. Might go for a nice walk, have a nice day x [/quote]
Hi @WeyAyeMan, I've been reading and following. How was the social worker today? Thinking of you

Bunce1 · 09/02/2022 17:21

Phones can be toxic! I put mine in a different room of an evening.

I did go shopping and it was annoying! They didn’t have the cereal my DS likes so he was annoyed. The supermarket near me is rubbish.

All grey and rainy here too!

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 09/02/2022 17:39

Hi @loopycurtains

The social worker visit went ok thank you. They never have any information for me, other than they will be asking the safety planning team to update me themselves if there are to be any hearings or updates etc. other than that there was no information. I think it's a box ticking exercise to be honest.

It was sunny here @Bunce1 but cold. Managed to get out for a little walk.
To be fair it is the worst when the supermarkets don't have what you want. I'm really craving foxes double chocolate crunch cream biscuits. They're top tier biscuits and I can't find them anywhere!! 😩

OP posts:
loopycurtains · 09/02/2022 19:30

@WeyAyeMan

Hi *@loopycurtains*

The social worker visit went ok thank you. They never have any information for me, other than they will be asking the safety planning team to update me themselves if there are to be any hearings or updates etc. other than that there was no information. I think it's a box ticking exercise to be honest.

It was sunny here @Bunce1 but cold. Managed to get out for a little walk.
To be fair it is the worst when the supermarkets don't have what you want. I'm really craving foxes double chocolate crunch cream biscuits. They're top tier biscuits and I can't find them anywhere!! 😩

Oh my goodness, my kids are obsessed with the foxes triple chocolate biscuits but I haven't been able to get them for months. Desperate times!
Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 09/02/2022 19:34

@loopycurtains dipped in coffee they are just amazing. I need some! What's going on !!

OP posts:
loopycurtains · 09/02/2022 19:37

[quote WeyAyeMan]@loopycurtains dipped in coffee they are just amazing. I need some! What's going on !![/quote]
Lols, I know! Toilet rolls have nothing on this! Ps sorry I have to keep quoting you. It's the only way I can reply from the app on a phone. Unless there's a way I don't know about!

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 09/02/2022 19:42

@loopycurtains
I know damn it, neverMind having 56 toilet rolls in the cupboard I wish I'd hoarded a load of biscuits!!

I'm on the app too, when you click reply on the bottom right and go to type put @ and it brings up names to tag!
😊

OP posts:
Bunce1 · 09/02/2022 21:42

We are addicted to ginger snaps. But there is a place in my heart for a Viennese Swirl!

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 09/02/2022 22:16

@Bunce1 ringtons ginger snaps are beautiful. My granny always used to have them bless her

Clearly I eat too many biscuits ☺️

OP posts:
Bunce1 · 09/02/2022 22:20

Ooooh I’m gonna find them

loopycurtains · 10/02/2022 00:00

@WeyAyeMan Holy shit, how did I never know how to do this before (notice no quoting). See? Even in the midst of your despair, you are putting middle aged mumsnetters out of their posting-incompetence misery. OP, you are a legend.

dane8 · 10/02/2022 00:24

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mathanxiety · 10/02/2022 02:24

I am a big ginger nut fan. I love them dipped in tea, though you have to be careful not to dip too long.

I think it will look worse for him at the trial if you are heavily pg or have just given birth. It will be noted that he attacked you early in your pregnancy.

ChristmasPlanning · 10/02/2022 16:47

Have you tried mindfulness? Can be helpful to switch off and get to sleep. Lots of free trials of Calm and Headspace plus You Tube to get you started

Bunce1 · 12/02/2022 09:14

How is your weekend looking?

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 12/02/2022 10:30

Eeeh @loopycurtains that made me laugh!

@dane8 thank you so much for the kind words

@Bunce1 did you get hold of some ginger biscuits?
I went out for dinner yesterday with my dad and for a walk around a country park, was nice but it's really windy here. We're just having a day in the house I think. We've been playing with the paints this morning, what a stupid idea. Trying to take her hand prints is not fun 😂 what are your plans ?

OP posts:
Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 12/02/2022 10:32

Haven't heard anything back from work yet. Haven't heard much at all from anywhere to be honest.

I had a text from my key worker at women in need asking how I am. Replied but she hasn't responded, seems as if there's nothing they can do for me at the moment so the contact is just reducing and reducing.

OP posts:
Bunce1 · 12/02/2022 13:21

I have just been for a wild swim which was freezing and amazing!

Today is various kids activities and then I am going to play tennis later on.

I am going to a larger supermarket today In my gingernut mission

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 12/02/2022 14:26

@Bunce1 a wild swim in this weather?!!! Wow 🥶

OP posts:
dane8 · 12/02/2022 16:14

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 12/02/2022 16:46

@dane8 ah I didn't realise they were only based in Newcastle! My granny used to have the ringtons man at her door and he'd have a great big wicker basket full of goodies..

No my lovely granny would let me have as many as I wanted 😊 she'd buy me packs and hampers at Christmas, bless her, lovely memories 😊

I'm desperate for an afternoon nap. My daughters having none of it 😂

OP posts:
Bunce1 · 13/02/2022 22:12

Did you get a nap?

I am not a young mum. My kids are in double digits but the wild swim is keeping me young….maybe

Very quiet Sunday. Still no ginger nuts though 😭

Original poster
WeyAyeMan · 13/02/2022 22:31

No @Bunce1 no naps for me 😂 I don't even know what sleep is these days.

I laugh but it's actually really frustrating the fact that she's never been a good sleeper, I'd give anything for just one night without having my face and hair pulled at and to be able to sleep for more than a 2-3 hour stint 😩😩😴

Is wild swimming in the sea? I'd love to do that but I'd be worried my nips would drop off 🥶😂

OP posts: