DP Arrested - Trigger warning DV

[WeyAyeMan]

My dp well ex dp has been arrested and now charged with 5 counts of assault and 1 count of false imprisonment against me on Christmas Day, now remanded in custody till court on Tuesday. I'm a wreck and have severe trauma bonding to him. I'm missing him so much.

I'm around 7 weeks pregnant, home alone with our 8 month old baby and shaking in shock. Has anybody been through similar? The fear of unknown is making it worse.

Trial sorry *

Is he going to be remanded in custody all that time?

That’s good.

I think that’s a good outcome.

6months- long enough for you to get some stuff sorted. New house. New nursery.

How are you @WeyAyeMan

I'm ok thank you

Just been feeling a little overwhelmed with everything. He's remanded still. My maternity runs out next month and I don't feel able to return, I can't even think about work and don't know what to do.

I feel sick at the thought that I'm going to be heavily pregnant and going to a trial. I just want it over and done with so I can concentrate on the children

Thanks for checking on me. It all just feels too much at the moment

Thank you @dane8

I'm really confused with work. They don't know I'm pregnant. I don't know if I have to go back to end this maternity, so that I'd be entitled to maternity pay for this new baby. Or if I can just put a sick note in. I just haven't got a clue what I'm doing. Just feel like breaking down. Really trying to pull myself together today and keep my head above water x

It is overwhelming. I think the above points are good ones about returning to work and how to do that.

You can also speak to your social worker about what your options are. Maybe try and get yourself a plan together and a timeline. Would that help
You?

But as hard as it is, staying with today and being here today is the best thing you can do.

We are here.

Thank you @Bunce1 I appreciate it.

The social worker is visiting this week so I'll ask her about it. I can't even think about going in to work it's just another worry on top of everything else. I've had a cry and now I'm ok.

We were out all day yesterday so just going to stay home today and play with toys and maybe watch a movie. I just keep telling myself I can get through it but some days are definitely harder than others.

Yes some days will be tough. I’m sorry that it’s today. And crying is therapeutic, although I also find it draining too.

Movie sounds good- i meant to reply earlier, but I had to take the kids out to footy. Joy! What’s the film? The fundamentals of caring with Paul Rudd is very good!

You don’t need to go back to work.

@Bunce1 ah it was just life of pi but had to be something I didn't really need to concentrate on.

I don't know about work and where I stand with regards to the maternity pay I've had, and then how I'd get maternity leave for this baby. It's just all a mess but I can't think about it at the moment it just hurts my head. I know I'm not ready to return but don't want to lose my job.

Hope you've had a nice weekend. It's freezing here

Knowledge is power, maybe if you found out your entitlements re work it would actually be one less thing to worry about. If you don't feel up to talking to your manager or HR about pregnancy is there an employee handbook you can access?

@ChristmasPlanning yeah that's a good plan, I'm going to try and look into the policies.
I don't feel comfortable discussing anything with HR yet (HR is actually just one woman who is intact a total bitchy gobshite!)

Just found this thread. I’m an in awe at your strength, you’ve done amazing for your babies. Well done!

*I am in awe

How you doing?

I'm ok thanks

Just been shopping and going to my friends for tea @Bunce1

@GracieLouFreeebush thank you for your kind words 😊

That sounds a nice day. A good day.

Just checking in

Everything's quiet here @Bunce1
I've never heard anything from women in need or anything like that. Seems like everything's just come to a stand still.

I've been proactive today. Went and got a sick note. Wrote a letter to my work ending my maternity and putting the sick note in. It's not going to go down well but at the end of the day I need to put myself first at the moment not work.

I keep having waves of anxiety, where I feel overwhelming need to cry but then it passes quickly. I went to visit my grandparents for dinner which was nice. Hope you had a nice day?

Thanks for the motivation @dane8
I managed to get some thing ticked off the list today!

Oh and tidied the house too so everything is nice and clean and tidy. All laundry put away. Having a clean tidy house always makes me feel better. Although it doesn't stay tidy very long

You've done a lot today, that's great

Thanks. @ChristmasPlanning
It really helped the day go faster. January dragged like crazy but we're over a week into feb already. That's a good thing it's going fast 😊

I'm exhausted now but ended up lying in bed wide awake. Same happened last night I lay awake from 2-5!! 😴