How do I get out of this mess.

[KeeG8181]

Name changed.

I have been with my son's dad for 3 years. My son is 2. I am so unbelievably miserable in this relationship it is untrue but for some reason I can't get out of it.

He is financially controlling, he doesn't take all of my money anymore but I pay for absolutely everything, rent, bills, food etc etc and he contributes nothing. He is so verbally unkind to me and calls me ugly fat scruffy etc every name under the sun. He has been violent to me in the past and punched my hand yesterday.

He walks round the house constantly shouting swearing and on top note. Everything has to be his way or no way at all and he takes over everything like decorating my house the way he chooses and taking over rooms with his stuff. He's punched holes in doors etc and broken my things in temper

His family are enablers, they are coming round shortly and I have to sit and listen to them be all nicey nicey to him, they're love bombers as well which is just weird. He threatened to punch me Infront of his dad and his dad did nothing. I hate them and wish I didn't have to see them.

My relationship with my own family is extremely strained because I'm with him and I have no friends anymore.

Why can't I leave. What the fuck is wrong with me.

Thank you for listening.

Oh here's my reply to how I had a child.

I got pregnant very quickly whilst on progesterone. I didn't find out I was pregnant until quite late on and I couldn't have brought myself to abort a 23 week old foetus.

Just incase. Probably not my smartest move but if it weren't for DS I'd have been swinging from a rope by now.

Well done for getting out. I wish you all the best for the court case

So great to hear you've got a refuge place. Stay strong, do not go back to him under any circumstances. Good luck with the restraining order.

Wow, what incredible courage, @KeeG8181!! You are a wonderful mum and a brilliant person for being so brave. I am sure you and your son will have a brilliant future

Well done. You have shown so much courage.

Oh here's my reply to how I had a child.

You have no need to justify that. Posing that question on its own made it clear it wasn't asked in a supportive way. What mattered was the horrible situation you and your son were both in and your request for suggestions on how to change it for the future.

All good news so far op, I hope the restraining orders come through. Great re bars on windows etc, so you can keep your house and feel safe.

Congratulations on moving forward with this. I'm not familiar with your type of housing ownership, but is it possible with WR help, you can apply for a transfer?

Just touching base on the your family side of stuff. My Uncle, several times, has had trailers, trucks and whatever at the ready to move his granddaughter and her children out of the situation they were in.

Each time, at the last minute, she would change her mind so he and my aunt became a little bit hard nose about it. I can't blame them, but they were not seeing the change she said she wanted and ultimately the signal had to come from her and as something she wanted to proceed with.. maybe this does or doesn't apply to yours, but might explain why they have taken the stance they have.

Prove them wrong!

This is just inspiring. What a strong woman and mother you are. You should be so damn proud of yourself, I know I am and I don't even know you! Your DS will be equally proud of you once he's old enough to understand. Well done for getting away from him and please keep us updated. I truly hope he is remanded in prison and ends up getting a custodial sentence for the torment and abuse he has subjected you and your DS to.

Side note: I absolutely love how you speak of your DS. It sounds like he is your whole world and it actually brought a tear to my eye. It's clear as day that he is the reason that you managed to find the strength to get out of this abusive relationship.

So, so proud of you. Well done, OP. Please keep us posted.

OP I hope he's not allowed out to come back and torment you. Best of luck.

You are amazing, OP. Well done for taking control. Your DS is so lucky to have you.

Congratulations on getting out! Hope he gets bunged up.

brilliant news! well done, really wishing you all the best 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

I've followed your thread.

Well done.

Keep on being strong. Sorry your mum is a part of the problem.

Hope you get the restraining order.

Hang in there lovelie, you're on the road and nearly free. You're doing an amazing thing for your wonderful boy and we're all right behind you xxx

Late to this, OP, but want to join the cheer squad and say well done for ending the appalling situation and seeking the right help. May that bastard get a hefty stint in the slammer.
Big to you and your lovely boy as you step into your new life.

My God op, you are some woman! Just wow. Your son's father is a bully and an abuser but boy did he pick the wrong woman

@KeeG8181

I've just caught up with your updates! You must be exhausted (& scared) with all that's happened.

Have they been able to offer you any protection against the rest of his family??

Hope today goes well for you & DS
X

Well done for taking the steps that you have. You will look back on this time and realise what a life changing decision you made, the day you phoned WA.
You’re a strong, resourceful woman - and a great parent for getting your DC away from this man.
Posting a daffodil - the flower of new beginnings

I’m so pleased to read your updates OP. Stay strong. You are way stoned than you know.

Well done. I'm so glad you removed yourself and your son from this horrible situation. Hope it goes well for you.

Good luck OP. You’ve done so well xx

Well done and good luck op. 💐💐💐

Well done for escaping. Things will be so much better for you and DS now. You are wonderful

Wow op, you have done amazingly! So good to know you are free.

You are amazing, OP. Truly inspirational.

I hope the courts do you and your son justice today. If they don’t, please remember its because we have a shitty system, it isn’t because you haven’t done the right thing.