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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do men always suggest going for walks as a first date?

298 replies

Marble2021 · 24/12/2021 17:30

This has happened to me a lot. Guys always want to go for a walk as the first date. I completely understand this during lockdown when nowhere is open, but even when we weren't in lockdown and all bars and restaurants were open, they still wanted to go on a walk as a first date. When I suggest meeting at a bar instead, they don't seem to want to. By the way, they are definitely suggesting a date, not just a friendly meet up. Anyone got any ideas as to why they always suggest going to a walk around the streets as a first date?

OP posts:
OnwardsAndSideways1 · 24/12/2021 21:35

It's not really about money, it's about if you feel walking along is conducive to a bit of romance and chemistry. I notice most people who went on walking dates didn't actually end up with the guy. I think there's a reason for that...once you have established a bit of rapport/chemistry, walking along is fine.

Also, if you don't have enough money to go out a couple of times a month, that would be an issue for me. I'm quite old (!) and want someone who can at least match my own income and likes the same stuff as me, which includes coffees/drinks at the very least, a meal out although I don't care for that always as it can drag on if they aren't that great.

Pinkbonbon · 24/12/2021 21:39

@Mouseonmychair

I suggest this it weeds out the gold diggers. I spend a lot of time trying to hide my wealth.
If you don't mention your wealth on your profile surely THAT would weed out the gold diggers?

And if they genuinely are gold diggers and prepared prepared date you to the point of marriage, when they would actually get get share of this money...do you really think one walk in the park first will put them off?

GiantHaystacks2021 · 24/12/2021 21:41

Don't want to spend money while sizing a woman up.

missbunnyrabbit · 24/12/2021 21:42

My boyfriend and I went for a walk as our first meeting. Not a date really, just a meet as we had only spoken online.

FrippEnos · 24/12/2021 22:11

@AngelsEyeball

£3 for coffee or £50 in a restaurant
Plenty on here would claim that going for a coffee is also being a cheapskate.
Pinkbonbon · 24/12/2021 22:14

Not for a first date they wouldn't.

Why the heck would anyone go to a restaurant and have a full meal with someone they hasn't even met yet? Surely that's fucking weird.

FabulousMrFifty · 24/12/2021 22:16

Mouseonmychair
I suggest this it weeds out the gold diggers. I spend a lot of time trying to hide my wealth.
If you don't mention your wealth on your profile surely THAT would weed out the gold diggers?

And if they genuinely are gold diggers and prepared prepared date you to the point of marriage, when they would actually get get share of this money...do you really think one walk in the park first will put them off?

To be fair, this is more about avoiding the freeloaders more than anything

FrippEnos · 24/12/2021 22:16

oopsyoudiditagain

How many dates do you go on?

Two dates P/W P/M could easily rack up £400 - £500 (if eating out at fairly cheap places)

Even the cinema is going to cost £40 + if we go by the male pays for it all.

Notwithittoday · 24/12/2021 22:16

Cheapskates, low effort… I never accepted walking dates

RedCandyApple · 24/12/2021 22:17

Definitely because it’s free

Tabbacus · 24/12/2021 22:17

It's free, less likely to see someone they know, I love walking but for a first date wonder if they are setting the bar low for future dates. I wouldn't fancy meeting a man I'd never met for a walk.

NinaDefoe · 24/12/2021 22:24

I would prefer it. The thought of sitting opposite some bloke for a couple of hours staring at their face and forcing small talk would be my idea of hell.
If you’re walking you’re partly occupied (looking where you’re going) - so you don’t have to constantly maintain eye contact. It’s more relaxed.
I’d definitely find walking and chatting less intense than sitting opposite someone drinking or eating a meal.

NinaDefoe · 24/12/2021 22:26

Why the heck would anyone go to a restaurant and have a full meal with someone they hasn't even met yet? Surely that's fucking weird.

I agree! 🤣

Annike4 · 24/12/2021 22:41

They get to see you in the daylight up close to see what you really look like.
It costs them nothing and they can cut it short at any time.

writergirl007 · 24/12/2021 22:42

Depends where the walk is. I had a nice date walking along the Southbank in London, then a drink. And I had several park walk dates in lockdown. But although I love hiking I'd never go for a full-on day trek in the countryside on date one....what it they were too slow? What if I need a wee behind a tree?!

Hawkins001 · 24/12/2021 22:48

For me id choose a cafe or somewhere quiet that we can chat and have conversation, I'm guessing that's one reason people choose walks.

Changechangychange · 24/12/2021 22:48

@Suprima

Also they have no awareness of women’s safety and risk (no I don’t want to meet a strange man in the park)
Depends on the park and the time of day, surely? The parks around me are heaving at weekends, I’d feel totally safe meeting anyone in them. And there are loads of places to stop and get food or a coffee if you are getting on well, or opportunities to make your excuses and leave early if you aren’t!

Obviously wouldn’t agree to meet at 5pm in the dark on Hampstead Heath or anywhere else secluded.

Atmywitsend29 · 24/12/2021 22:49

Heck no, DH suggested a coffee shop for our first date. Marry the fat ones op. They don't like to walk Grin

GentlemanJayFab · 24/12/2021 22:55

I've been on a few of these. Usually finished with tea and cake. What's not to like about that?

Changechangychange · 24/12/2021 22:55

@Mouseonmychair

I suggest this it weeds out the gold diggers. I spend a lot of time trying to hide my wealth.
Wouldn’t it be easier to just date somebody else well-off?

The amount of money somebody has is usually obviously once you see their house and car, or hear what their job is. I’m not sure “taking them for a walk instead of to Nando’s” is going to disguise a billionaire.

LampLighter414 · 24/12/2021 23:02

It's free!

If you are someone who is dating regularly it adds up!

Covid

If you go to the right kind of location it can be really flexible. You can make it a short route and then see how you are both feeling if you want to go out further, redo the loop, go a different way, stop off in a pub or for a coffee etc

sunnyzweibrucken · 24/12/2021 23:04

I’d actually enjoy a walk. Especially if there’s some sightseeing involved which means lots to chat about. I hate dinner dates they seem awkward to me.

Pinkbonbon · 24/12/2021 23:07

If you have a fuckton of money then what does it matter if they are a 'freeloader?' It's lunch, you're under no obligation to buy her a friggin gucci handbag xD

Emanchego · 24/12/2021 23:08

A walk date is for lady chumps.

gelatodipistacchio · 24/12/2021 23:10

I also listen to FDS and I've come around to the view that men should see you as valuable and make an effort - which would mean walk dates are a no. It really is low effort.