Urgent advice regarding sexual boundaries

[loveyoutothemoon]

My boyfriend a few months ago, during sex, said that he could put it wherever he likes, angling at anal sex. He'd repeated this a few times at each session over a period of weeks. I didn't say anything at the time but decided to say something later. I told him that I knew what he was angling at and that I felt very uncomfortable, that I didn't want to do that, also that my ex did things repeatedly to me without my consent (even after me telling him no on seperate occasions). He would touch me and go down on me during the night whilst asleep. Whilst telling my current boyfriend this I was slightly upset and and he said he was so very sorry, and that he woudn't do it again.

Anyway, we were having sex the other night and he said something along the lines of, I can put it anywhere and I don't need to ask for permission...or something like that. I think he realised what he said as he then back tracked, like he forgot.

Am I being too quick to finish with him?

How are you hugs you’ll have a good Christmas without him hanging over you and his awful sayings and requests. My h is into bum stuff he tried a couple of time he went off sex after that. Today I don’t care I never want sex with him again he’s not bothered blames meds but I think that’s the real reason,

Hi @Holothane, not too bad thank you, I've been better. Just can't get his bloody face out of my thoughts!

What is it with them, they think they have a chuffin right to your bum hole! Hope you're okay.

Ok I’m ok just doing stuff for me that I enjoy, thanks so much for asking you take care too.

Fab, enjoy yourself. Thank you.

I'm not very well today actually, got a slight cold and feel rough. I've done a covid test and negative. I've been to get my shopping for Christmas dinner (for one!).

We’ll make sure r there are plenty of treats as well in there, oh god my h is about a couple of days away I can’t think of anything worse, I’ve said no chance for a few months by then my saving will be growing I’ve got my passport etc, so slowly working towards leaving..

Oooooh there are lots of treats!

That's great news you're leaving. Glad that you've got some self respect and doing the right thing. Good luck.

Thank you so much, I’m even looking at a cheap studio flats I don’t care where I live I’d love Leeds or back to,London medical museums I’d be happy with that if it comes to it as I’m on disability benefits. My one luxury by 65 inch tv comes with me anything else I’ll get 2nd hand if need be not the bed though.

How are you? Just chill out but for me best Christmas present turned up my co-y of my birth certificate means I’ve done the three photos for small pension lump sum my plans are going beautifully now. Next Christmas will be very different.

Hi @Holothane I'm feeling much better today mentally and physically. I've sold and sent back 2 of his presents and spent even more on my kids!!

Sounds like you're looking forward to a new start and good that you've got your birth certificate. You should be very proud of yourself X

I’m thrilled just thrilled loads of hugs OP to. you and your children, I bet their faces will be magical well done.

Well done OP and holothane. Sounds like you are both doing very well at claiming your own selves and your power! I hope you both go from strength to strength!

@Holothane thank you, have a nice Christmas. Keep me updaed with your escapade! x

@beastlyslumber thank you, you've both been lovely. Happy Christmas!

Happy Christmas to all that have posted. You've helped me massively!

Will do op I’ll pm you in the new year.

So pleased to read both updates.

@Holothane the best of luck to you.

Haveca lovely Christmas OP.

Thank you @billy1966.

I don't tend to drink but I've just treated myself to a glass of red and felt worse. I need to not drink at all tomorrow with my Christmas dinner!

Yes I’m chilling out nicely h found an 80s music program for me to watch I enjoyed that smoked salmon with philidelphia cheese soon, that’s a treat as well. Dvds will come out in a bit. New books 0n kindle so happy. H is just in background at the moment not too grumpy.

@Holothane I'm glad that your Christmas Eve was good, how's your Christmas Day going?

Today for me hasn't been too bad really, thought I'd find things hard but had a lovely morning/early afternoon with my kids before they left for their dad's. I've had my dinner and washed up, I braved a small glass of port and a small white wine. Things don't seem as bad as I thought they would. Had a few slightly down moments but every time I've just told myself that he's a twat!

I've deliberately not told my kids about the split as I didn't want to be any kind of subject over Christmas. I'll tell them when I see them in a few days, but they'll be gutted for me.

Hope everyone has had a great day.

And I'm enjoying watching what I want on TV!

Today I’ve slept a lot got books so thrilled call the midwife at 8 then Mathew Modine film I’ve been keeping since September (he is gorgeous) so that’s it my last Christmas with h, oh I’m still laughing head off, all the years he’s been grumpy about his presents from his parents the years he’s spent more money on Jeremy his ex. (He’s bi) anyway this year because money is tight he’s had whisky (wasting money on smoking and vaping) a dressing gown two presents of parent (one cost) money we used to Christmas food he’s not happy. I sorted myself out and am loving it.

Sorry didn't read the latest posts ! Hope you have a lovely day!

@Holothane excellent, sounds like you've made your mind up, I was like this with my ex husband, once I'd decided there was no going back, it was very satisfying. Glad you've had a good day.

@ENDOFMESSAGE thank you. After the first time I really thought that would be the end of it. He was really sorry and appeared to be very understanding, and I trusted him. I should have seen it as a red flag (I did think it was weird at the time). Seems he really didn't take any notice and he pissed all over my boundaries after seeing me upset.

It's good that you've always stuck to your boundaries.

Yes I’m doing wonderfully call the midwife and then films h found another 80s program for me think he’s trying to find me stuff to watch instead of his crap, but I’m glad today is done.