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Original poster

SIL and Her P*ssing Contest

150 replies

MrsMissusAnonAnonymous · 20/12/2021 00:50

SIL is so jealous of me; and it’s getting too much.

She’s always tried to beat me to everything and make sure I know it, even going as far as trying to prove her and BIL were dating before DH and I (they weren’t, i remember when they got together) by stating they were HOOKING UP months prior in front of MIL and FIL!! She pulls little tricks to gain IL parents’ favor, and they always seem to fall for it and have even favored her over me (greatly, i mean to the point of mean gossip) sometimes!! Which is ok if I don’t live next door to them—but I do.. so I’d rather be equal. Well, lately she keeps rumoring BIL will propose (did I mention they’re not actually married?) and decided to tell MIL the diamond is bigger than mine… forgot to mention it’s a fake unlike mine tho. It’s p*ssing me off. I’m no competition for SIL, and, honestly, MIL doesn’t help by basically starting a ‘baby race’ (she told SIL whoever has a baby first gets all the old baby stuff which I think is unfair but I’m not worried about). So SIL is undergoing IVF and trying to find a surrogate while I’m over here not going to have a LO for years because I don’t want to. AND she has convinced BIL to buy a house with her just so they can be the first to own a house, because DH and I are renting IL’s old land (we own the mobile home on it). I think MIL enjoys the drama as she always adds fuel with the ‘baby race’, mean gossip, repeating things she shouldn’t (the bigger diamond), and saying stuff like “oh, SIL seems so jealous of you because I—“ “oh, they’ll be so jealous when they see—“. It’s annoying, we aren’t dolls to play with and make fight.

I guess enough is just enough and I’m getting to a point where I’m tired of ignoring it and really want to make her cut it out. What do I do?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 20/12/2021 00:54

What do I do?

You do nothing because that's the only sensible, mature option. Your SIL is unhinged, and there's no reasoning with that. Just let her carry on, chasing her own tail, whilst you ignore the hell out of her. She's pathetic really, so don't lower yourself by giving her the attention she's so desperate for.

caringcarer · 20/12/2021 01:04

Doing nothing is your best option. Don't compete.

Hyppogriff · 20/12/2021 01:06

You sound just as competitive and difficult … takes two to compete like that

frazzledasarock · 20/12/2021 01:10

Move to the other end of the country and don’t give them a forwarding address.

The best thing would be to switch off and smile and nod. And just ignore them all.

beenthereboughtthetshirt · 20/12/2021 01:12

grey rock her

OnAWinterMorningFarAway · 20/12/2021 01:13

Cut them both dead and ignore them.

britneyisfree · 20/12/2021 01:16

Bit too much effort to read all the crossed out bits but yeah she's an idiot ignore.

ESGdance · 20/12/2021 01:21

Don’t get drawn in.

Be indifferent.

Don’t let her nonsense preoccupy you.

Assume your MIL is enjoying seeing you twitch - don’t give it too her.

There is nothing you can say to either of them. Drop the rope - withdraw from the detail - don’t give them detail from your life. Get your head out of their games.

Rogue1001 · 20/12/2021 01:21

You sound just the same

Original poster
MrsMissusAnonAnonymous · 20/12/2021 01:31

I promise you I don’t engage. I’m just getting fed up and was tempted to say something. I always wish her the best and tell her I’m happy for her new developments, but she only ever comes back at me with more of her competing.

OP posts:
ABCeasyasdohrayme · 20/12/2021 01:34

You think she's going through IVF to compete with you?

You're just as bad as her imo.

Totalwasteofpaper · 20/12/2021 01:51

Why would you want whatever manky old baby stuff is being dragged down from the dusty attic?

You are being triangulated (the "I shouldn't say but..." is classic for this)

Nod, smile and stay out of it.

lovelilies · 20/12/2021 01:54

Reading this, you sound just as batshit as "SIL" and you both need to grow up.

MIL is laughing at you moth behind your backs at how ridiculous you both are.

Netry · 20/12/2021 01:58

All 3 of you sounds the same.

Original poster
MrsMissusAnonAnonymous · 20/12/2021 01:58

@ABCeasyasdohrayme

You think she's going through IVF to compete with you?

You're just as bad as her imo.

She only started after MIL made that statement (and told her she wants to be first), so, yes, I’d make that stretch. However, I hope she’s not since MIL gave her some things already and I have no interest in babies atm (19yo here).
OP posts:
bubbleblower85 · 20/12/2021 02:04

You defeat her and your MIL by not responding, grey rock them and take their 'power' away from them.
When you do this consistently they will lose the pleasure they get from behaving this way, although that is not to say SIL will stop 'competing' with you.

Original poster
MrsMissusAnonAnonymous · 20/12/2021 02:06

@Totalwasteofpaper

Why would you want whatever manky old baby stuff is being dragged down from the dusty attic?

You are being triangulated (the "I shouldn't say but..." is classic for this)

Nod, smile and stay out of it.

Hahaha trust me, I don’t. Thank you, I’ve been trying to see this from an outsider perspective.
OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMissusAnonAnonymous · 20/12/2021 02:08

@bubbleblower85

You defeat her and your MIL by not responding, grey rock them and take their 'power' away from them. When you do this consistently they will lose the pleasure they get from behaving this way, although that is not to say SIL will stop 'competing' with you.
I think you’re right on. I didn’t mention, but I did cut communication with them, they just keep trying. Christmas will be fun haha! Jokes aside, I’ll stick to taking their power away :)
OP posts:
TiddlesTheTiger · 20/12/2021 02:11

Have you mentioned that you're not interested in the 'baby race'?
MiL sounds like a stirrer.

Original poster
MrsMissusAnonAnonymous · 20/12/2021 02:12

@Aquamarine1029

What do I do?

You do nothing because that's the only sensible, mature option. Your SIL is unhinged, and there's no reasoning with that. Just let her carry on, chasing her own tail, whilst you ignore the hell out of her. She's pathetic really, so don't lower yourself by giving her the attention she's so desperate for.

Thank you. I will do that. I guess after a while of this it drove me a little crazy :)
OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMissusAnonAnonymous · 20/12/2021 02:13

@caringcarer

Doing nothing is your best option. Don't compete.
Thank you. It got tempting to react after the insult to my ring… but that’s because I kept getting told that 🤦‍♀️ I wouldn’t ever compete
OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMissusAnonAnonymous · 20/12/2021 02:14

@frazzledasarock

Move to the other end of the country and don’t give them a forwarding address.

The best thing would be to switch off and smile and nod. And just ignore them all.

I wish I could!!

Agreed. My New Years resolution— thank you :)

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMissusAnonAnonymous · 20/12/2021 02:15

@beenthereboughtthetshirt

grey rock her
Im not sure what that is :)
OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMissusAnonAnonymous · 20/12/2021 02:16

@OnAWinterMorningFarAway

Cut them both dead and ignore them.
MIL lives next door so I do as much as I can to keep distance, but SIL— def can do! :)
OP posts:
Palavah · 20/12/2021 02:16

Just agree with her and do your own thing. She'll soon lose interest.