Dating Thread 221 - will this thread see us through 'till Christmas?

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

[quote StartingAgain6369]**@MizK* @Eesha* @Naimee87 @BelladiMamma
Thanks for your posts, I saw Ms YM1 last night and we had a takeaway together.

I really want to say more but I'm concerned about saying too much in a public forum, I know that sounds mad but I'm quite a private person

So I've decided to bump along as we have been, especially as we seem to be heading into another difficult few weeks, but I will be asking for advice when we meet in February

Hope everyone's present wrapping is on schedule![/quote]
I decided not to do presents this year really. So I bought the same thing each for my godson, stepson, cousin's two boys. All handed over weeks ago.

But nothing for my mum, sister, niece, nephew, their partners etc.

Then today a friend gave me a gift, so I've had to order something for them. And my boss told be she has sent me something. Luckily I don't have her address!
People are basically annoying.

@VanGoghsDog, I think it is pretty sad that he hasn’t acknowledged that things between you weren’t going to work out but that he appreciates your friendship. Leaving something on a positive note is possible and as you say a small gesture or acknowledgment of you and the necessary shift needed in the friendship would definitely be appreciated.

I'm really aware that I deal very badly with everything around Christmas time. Having an unpleasant childhood leaves this time of year as an emotional wound I don't think you can ever really heal from.
I know I overreact to stuff. I try SO hard to be normal, pretend to be loving it, go to and even hold social events, but the desire to crawl weeping into a hole is never far from the surface.

Throw in a pandemic and my dad having died in the first lockdown and my difficult relationship with my mother, my sister's demands etc, and my feelings and emotions are not trustworthy.

So, I was going to try not to make a decision about him/it until after Christmas, but then twelve days of no contact (a Christmas ghosting) in response to my request plus the way he treated my friend on top (I didn't mention but she's not just my friend, she's from the group and he knows her independently) and it felt too much. And I had to block him so as not to either deal with whatever response or, worse, deal with no response. Either would just tip me over the edge right now.

Whether he knows he is blocked or not, if he has messaged he does know I've not responded. It's his operation tomorrow, unless they've changed the date again.

Just realised that the apps are bloody useless at this time of year because they're based on location. So many people have already travelled to see family for Christmas - so they're not in their normal locations. I keep getting people who live in Miami or whatever. Only useful if I want a ONS in the next few days 🙄

@VanGoghsDog

I'm really aware that I deal very badly with everything around Christmas time. Having an unpleasant childhood leaves this time of year as an emotional wound I don't think you can ever really heal from. I know I overreact to stuff. I try SO hard to be normal, pretend to be loving it, go to and even hold social events, but the desire to crawl weeping into a hole is never far from the surface. Throw in a pandemic and my dad having died in the first lockdown and my difficult relationship with my mother, my sister's demands etc, and my feelings and emotions are not trustworthy.

So, I was going to try not to make a decision about him/it until after Christmas, but then twelve days of no contact (a Christmas ghosting) in response to my request plus the way he treated my friend on top (I didn't mention but she's not just my friend, she's from the group and he knows her independently) and it felt too much. And I had to block him so as not to either deal with whatever response or, worse, deal with no response. Either would just tip me over the edge right now.

Whether he knows he is blocked or not, if he has messaged he does know I've not responded. It's his operation tomorrow, unless they've changed the date again.

Sorry @VanGoghsDog I only just saw your post. That sounds really tough for you. I'm so sorry about your father especially. The whole situation sounds so hard. Do look after yourself as best you can amongst all this

@VanGoghsDog, you have done the right thing but I’m sure it hurts. He seemed to be someone you felt a connection with from what you shared on here. Hopefully you will be able to focus on getting through Christmas doing what works for you. I’m sorry to hear that it’s a time of such difficult memories and tense family relationships.

Just got back from MrT's - though was very hard to peel myself away and kind of wish I'd stayed over (he did offer, and childcare was in place enough that I could have, but I'm trying to ease my kiddos into me being away so much as they aren't used to me being out as much as I have been recently! Once I'm comfortable they are comfortable I will and he's absolutely on board with that).

Zero heavy talk (whoop!). Just many hours of getting back on the horse with fun chats in between. He is so comfy and safe feeling. No regrets about the chats that have got me to be able to feel like that (at this point 😅 we'll see later down the line!) and I know ultimately it will be time that shows if he's a good egg or not. However, he is definitely a man of many talents so a good choice to learn to enjoy "that" side of things again 😁

Both very busy now until Xmas is over so have left it as next meet as "soonish".

((Hugs)) and ❤️ to everyone having a tough time right now. I'm sorry that I don't have any wise words for you. I'll try to catch up properly tomorrow with where everyone is.

@InABetterPlaceNow

Just got back from MrT's - though was very hard to peel myself away and kind of wish I'd stayed over (he did offer, and childcare was in place enough that I could have, but I'm trying to ease my kiddos into me being away so much as they aren't used to me being out as much as I have been recently! Once I'm comfortable they are comfortable I will and he's absolutely on board with that).

Zero heavy talk (whoop!). Just many hours of getting back on the horse with fun chats in between. He is so comfy and safe feeling. No regrets about the chats that have got me to be able to feel like that (at this point 😅 we'll see later down the line!) and I know ultimately it will be time that shows if he's a good egg or not. However, he is definitely a man of many talents so a good choice to learn to enjoy "that" side of things again 😁

Both very busy now until Xmas is over so have left it as next meet as "soonish".

((Hugs)) and ❤️ to everyone having a tough time right now. I'm sorry that I don't have any wise words for you. I'll try to catch up properly tomorrow with where everyone is.

Whoop whoop @InABetterPlaceNow I'm so pleased that you managed to get back on the "horse" and that you enjoyed it! That's lovely. And great that he's talented too 👏 👏

I'm sorry @VanGoghsDog, he sounds awful and you completely deserve better

@InABetterPlaceNow I'm really glad Mr T has proved to be a good one in real life! You two sound very well matched.

@PurpleStripyScarf

Just realised that the apps are bloody useless at this time of year because they're based on location. So many people have already travelled to see family for Christmas - so they're not in their normal locations. I keep getting people who live in Miami or whatever. Only useful if I want a ONS in the next few days 🙄

I have noticed this too. Nice pics, interesting profile with similar interests, scroll down.......lives 250 miles away.

I'm also wondering if people are too busy getting sorted for Christmas to pay much attention to the apps?

@VanGoghsDog. Wow, that all sounds unbelievable tough, good luck with everything, I lost my Dad in 2018 to cancer, still think about him now.

@InABetterPlaceNow Sounds great, hopefully Mr T is a “horse”, in all the best ways!

Sending hugs to hose that could do with one today. This is such a strange time of year emotion-wise, I feel similarly to you @VanGoghsDog that I try to enjoy it as best I can and make it special for DC but I miss my own family unit and it's a lot of emotional heavy lifting. When DC is with their dad, I feel a bit lost at sea and lacking in purpose. So sorry about your dad and Mr WG too.
Speaking of twats, @thegreenestbear what a monumental wanker he turned out to be! I'm so sorry you're going through this especially so close to Christmas, I really do think you did the right thing to call him out though. Sounds like he wanted to have his cake and eat it. I had the "exclusive" conversation with Mr D and felt a bit daft as he reacted in a 'of course we are, did you need to ask?!' sort of way but this thread/board goes to show that yes, you do.
@StartingAgain6369 glad it's not just me that feels identifiable from what I write on here.. I'm sure it isn't as obvious as it seems to ourselves, but share what you're comfortable with and hope things work out with Ms YM1.
Yay for good times and light-hearted chat @InABetterPlaceNow!
Had some quality time with Mr D and feeling loved and in love 🥰

So my doctor thinks I may have fibromyalgia, which was what I thought originally.

She's referred me to a rheumatologist, but can't get any appointments at the moment.

The blood tests were clear so that's a good sign.

Wish I knew what is wrong though...

Thank you @PurpleStripyScarf and @StartingAgain6369 for your good wishes. I'm doing okay, feeling a bit fragile as I've got other stuff going on too. But I'll get there, and be back to my old self soon.

I sent Mr Cricket a message on sunday about the Cricket, he read and didn't reply which surprised me as cricket is something he usually talks to me about. I did send him one yesterday asking if everything was okay between us as I feel it isn't and I just want our friendship to be okay. I got a quick message this morning saying his phone has been hacked (it has as I also got another message from him but not from him so it isn't an excuse).

Right I'm off to polyfilla more holes and get my flat ready for a spring paint job. I'll try not to change my name or delete my account again.🤦‍♀️

@Isitreallyme1277
Hopefully you didn’t send Mr Cricket as message about the Ashes, as England have been playing diabolically

@Isitreallyme1277 😘😘😘

Glad to 'hear' from you @Isitreallyme1277 good luck with the decorating prep.
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I have Fibro, took a bit of time to get my head around it and the medication options aren't that great (think you've already tried amitriptyline and that seems to be the go-to) but the rheumatologist is the best person to advise.
Message if you need any support/advice

@Heartbeats0708 thank you so much for that ❤️

Yes, I'm on amitripyline currently. It's working really well.

Just waiting for the rheumatologist to confirm everything 😘😘

@FabulousMrFifty I did 🤦‍♀️😬because that's what I was listening too, my mum on Friday said have you seen the latest. I can't believe (well I can) how badly we're doing. They say it's going to be 5-0 don't they. Some are blaming the 100 being shoved into the summer schedule.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards same to you 😘❤

@Heartbeats0708 it's these little bits that I can do now whilst it's cold so when its a bit warmer I can just get on with the painting.

@Isitreallyme1277
Yes it’s terrible, we (England), never seem to play well down under, but with the current obsession with T20 and the limited over games, it’s all wham bam stuff we’re are playing in the country and the 5 day game is neglected a bit, so it’s no wonder we’re pretty shit

@FabulousMrFifty so probably not the best time to mention cricket to a cricket player🤦‍♀️😬. Especially one who was very opinionated about the 100.

No, probably no the best time.
Bit like reminding me how badly Norwich are doing in the PL.

@thegreenestbear God that's quite a brutal way to be treated. I suppose you would have continued happily dating him without knowing what type of person he was had this not come to light so ultimately a good thing, hard as it must be x
@onwardseverstridingonwards good luck with getting sorted. Sounds like steps in the right direction to getting a diagnosis and then treatment.
@Heartbeats0708 so good that you're feeling the love! Nothing nicer. Enjoy it!
@PurpleStripyScarf I've snoozed the apps til new year and maybe til February - Jan horrific time of year for breakups so can only imagine thousands of rebounders getting straight on to Tinder to help them recover!
@VanGoghsDog I really do feel for you. He has not treated you as you deserve and I'm sure that, given this time of year is already hard for you, it feels extra hurtful. Hope you're OK x

Last night with MrTeacher was good. He'd cooked, sex was great then we just lay chatting for a couple of hours. He was a lot more open than he has been and even took the piss out of me for believing in astrology and having tarot cards (in a nice way not being a dick or I wouldn't have enjoyed it!). It was great to laugh and talk properly and I saw a different side to him. Still not sure what we are or where its heading but I left feeling a lot more warm towards him than I have done.

@FabulousMrFifty noted for the next match which starts on Christmas day.🤣