Dating Thread 221 - will this thread see us through 'till Christmas?

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

So no escape to magnet-man before christmas! We've planned a video call for tomorrow and then will keep in touch over Christmas. He's having his booster after end of December and if he feels OK we may get to see each other for a few days. But i've heard a fair few horror stories about the booster... so not sure if i can get my hopes up or not. Anyone know
anyone whose been tremendously fine after having it? 🤞🏻💪🏻🍀

With all the school stuff mostly out of the way i'm a full on scheduling machine and been working non-stop. Somehow need to magically find time for Christmas shopping too. I'm always so late in the game and a terrible wrapper who never has sticky tape and always forgets to buy it and wrapping paper is usually left over from DS's friends birthday parties, so never Christmassy! I tell myself every year 'you'll be so different next year' Well 'maybe next year' 😂 Hope those who've had a crappy time of it are doing OK and can start enjoy the holidays and head into the New Year knowing you'll not be dragged backwards of brought down by despicable human beings. I'm so ready for some holidaaaaaaays!

@thegreenestbear and @VanGoghsDog
Sorry to hear about rubbish men being rubbish.

@InABetterPlaceNow
Your night sounds utterly epic after all the big talks. You must have the biggest smile on yer face!!

MrFunk and I had a fab time last night. Still trying to ensure I don’t get too attached too soon. I’m losing the battle but it’s not over yet.

@Naimee87 - I was fine after my jab, everyone I know has been. Sore arm but no worse than any jab. Only MrWG reported being ill but he then turned out to have Covid.

Another one here who didn't even have a sore arm after booster. You'll be fine Naimee.

So lovely to hear from the loved up people. I'm just feeling loved up with my DC (but a bit freaked out when we measured DS15 who is almost 6'5"!) - cooked them a nice meal we'll eat while watching the football. Last day of work today, off until New Year's Eve now 🍾🥂

I have so much sympathy for those who find Christmas difficult. It took me years to be able to enjoy spending it in a 'foreign' country without family and childhood traditions. I miss my parents every year - they made Christmas magical and Christmas with ex and his family always ended up in arguments and someone crying.

Sorry Naimee, it's Magnet Man getting the booster... he'll be fine!

Yes likewise absolutely fine after booster @Naimee87. Someone close to me had bad symptoms but like MrWG turned out to have Covid. I think symptoms can be hit and miss though depending on which brand of vaccine you have

Does anyone know if it's possible to hide a profile of someone else on POF? The person who I had a couple of dates with and then decided to go back to her ex BF is on line a fair amount......would prefer not to see her in my list of potentials.

@Naimee87
I had a sore arm after the booster, but I think the nurse took a run up, a bit like he was throwing a javelin or something

@teesguy

Does anyone know if it's possible to hide a profile of someone else on POF? The person who I had a couple of dates with and then decided to go back to her ex BF is on line a fair amount......would prefer not to see her in my list of potentials.

Not sure, but on other apps you can block people

@teesguy you can block if you have messaged - not sure if you can otherwise

@Naimee87 I had my booster today - currently feeling a little tired, a bit of a sore arm and otherwise ok. I would expect by tomorrow I should be fine again so hopefully MM will be fine to meet you sooner rather than later:)

@FabulousMrFifty I've blocked but she still shows on line. I've had a Google but can't find any info on how to hide someone else. Guess I'll just have to grow a thick skin and ignore as best I can.

I think it’s not possible to hide someone on pof, just block them from messaging. Maybe focus on one of the other apps for now to avoid seeing her? I had this the last time I was on pof- all of the exes popped up straight away to torment me

@MayEye

I think it’s not possible to hide someone on pof, just block them from messaging. Maybe focus on one of the other apps for now to avoid seeing her? I had this the last time I was on pof- all of the exes popped up straight away to torment me

That's a good idea. I like the ability to be able to send a message on POF without having to go through the more randomness of having to match first like on the other apps..... not that I get many replies!!

[quote teesguy]@FabulousMrFifty I've blocked but she still shows on line. I've had a Google but can't find any info on how to hide someone else. Guess I'll just have to grow a thick skin and ignore as best I can.[/quote]
Interesting she said she’s gone back to an ex but is still showing online a lot - sounds like whatever the reality, she’s still in sweet shop mode..

@ibelieveinmirrorballs yeah, something doesn't add up for me. She told me that her ex had got back in touch but we were still talking as we had been doing until she met him to talk (again told me she was doing this) and decided to give it another go with him. We'd been talking about our next date prior to him getting in touch too. Maybe she just had a change of mind....but sounds like an elaborate story when she could have just said it wasn't what she wanted?

[quote teesguy]@ibelieveinmirrorballs yeah, something doesn't add up for me. She told me that her ex had got back in touch but we were still talking as we had been doing until she met him to talk (again told me she was doing this) and decided to give it another go with him. We'd been talking about our next date prior to him getting in touch too. Maybe she just had a change of mind....but sounds like an elaborate story when she could have just said it wasn't what she wanted?[/quote]
Women are often advised to say something like this, by "well meaning" friends who think it's less hurtful than just saying things aren't working for me. It's also far easier for the person doing the telling as it makes it not about the dumped person.

You only have to read threads on here (not this one so much, we're more realistic here) to see people say it all the time - tell him you got back with an ex; tell him you're just not ready for a relationship. Then you see them online and it's more hurtful than ever.

Personally, I prefer honesty. That way you can't forget what you said or why.

It sounds to me as if she lied.

@teesguy have you tried Hinge? You can't send a message as such, but you can send a comment about things on the person's profile - which is similar to messaging I guess.

[quote PurpleStripyScarf]@teesguy have you tried Hinge? You can't send a message as such, but you can send a comment about things on the person's profile - which is similar to messaging I guess.[/quote]
Yes I'm on Hinge too. I've found that it's the same profiles that just keep coming round and round though that I have already swiped left on.

@VanGoghsDog I'm starting to think the same too

@Naimee87 - I had my booster on Friday, my arm was agony and I got little sleep that night, it's almost back to normal now. Other than that, I felt a bit groggy/coldy the following day, and that was that.

Agree with @VanGoghsDog, I think she was spinning a bit of a line. I don't know why people do it really. There are nice ways of just saying 'I wasn't feeling it'. I have only met about 3 people I felt that with and it was pretty mutual and the messaging just mutually faded afterwards.

Those of you who are not big messagers, do you think it means something when someone ramps down messaging a little bit after a meet, but is still very responsive and lovely during phone calls? Since our weekend Mr Mixtape has apparently been very busy, we've had a few calls but almost no messages since. When I make contact he messages back straight away - today I called having not spoken/messaged since Sunday, we had a brief lovely chat but I sensed he was busy so asked if we should speak another time and he said he was finishing work for a big meeting tomorrow and would text tomorrow to arrange a good time for us to chat. All well and good (and again, I do recognise my anxiety is running the show here) but there has been a distinct lack of that kind of 'oh look, a picture of my cats being silly' message that we did on occasion swap between us. We've never done it loads, he's generally a phone person rather than text, and he's a very practical/pragmatic/boundaried person. Obviously though I am obsessively searching for Any Sort of Sign.

@VanGoghsDog I haven't commented recently on the MrWG thing. You definitely deserve better than this stony non-response. How dare he come and stay with you while house sitting and give this temporary 'boyfriend experience' and then follow up with precisely nothing. Also hear you on the difficulty around Christmas. I have similar.

@teesguy
After reading your update tend to agree with @VanGoghsDog , she was just spinning you a line, I’ve had this happen to me before, and to be honest it knocked my “romantic “ trust with women ( sorry ladies), and TBH, I still don’t really have that trust back, and I suspect it never come back 100%, and probably why I come across as a bit flippant sometimes

@ibelieveinmirrorballs I’m not really a big messenger, but I would rather message then call, but what do I know, my iron is using email, I mean e-fucking-mail, who uses that, a carrier pigeon would be more fun.

Seriously, I don’t think you need to worry

@FabulousMrFifty This was my first OLD experience and has left me feeling a bit meh. Maybe I'm a bit naive, but I want to take people at face value and believe what they say. Things like this definitely erase the trust. I'm also extremely logical and it's going around in my head as I just can't make things add up. I know I just need to let go and move on.

Thanks then for all your comments! 🤩 I will have to just hope for the best! He sent me a great Trance/Techno playlist this morning. It'd be so nice to see him when we aren't both working and my DS can get some wise old life lessons from the grandparents and spend a few days with them! 🤞🏻🍀
@WeWantTheFinestWines what are you feeding your children, that's so tall!! Give me some recipes my DS is a tiny-titch and so wants to be taller. Some of his classmates are already my height or taller (i'm 5'4) ...hopefully he's due a growth spurt!

but I think the nurse took a run up, a bit like he was throwing a javelin or something

this made me giggle! just what you need at 6am... to start the day off in a good mood. Thanks @FabulousMrFifty

@Naimee87 @WeWantTheFinestWines
Son's are always taller than there mothers, I was 6-2 at 13 years old and haven't grown since, towered over my mates at school but when I left school at 16 most had caught me up