Dating Thread 221 - will this thread see us through 'till Christmas?

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Thanks lovelies @Isitreallyme1277 @BelladiMamma. Thankfully I'm off to a good mates tomorrow for a couple of days so we’ll have some much needed giggles.

@Shayelle2009 ❤️

Sorry some of you had a rough day today. I felt so relieved that it's all over this morning, it's almost like I can finally enjoy it so will leave the tree etc up til twelfth night.
On the negative side, I've completely crashed health wise after all the intensity. Pacing went out of the window as I just had to get everything done. DC heading to dad's for a couple of days so some serious rest on the cards for me.
It's all different re first dates isn't it? Me and Mr D intended to just have a drink or two in the summer sun and ended up working our way through a cocktail menu and stumbling for a taxi at 2am. I'd have been happy with a walking date, and we've done them since, but I do like a little Dutch courage to help the ol nerves!

Finally got a bit of down time after a HUGE christmas dinner with my family today! Spending two days here with them! My sisters family are here and a few friends too. Special surprise was Trifle for pudding and it was delicious! Will be running a wee marathon at some point during the week! 🤩😂 Christmas day was just me, DS and the pooch! Magnet-man was quick to message in morning which i really liked. We've kept comms light but he's made it known he's there! It was a really relaxing day but didn't feel to 'christmassy' for too long once all our presents had been opened. Had drinks then with my lovely neighbour in the evening! He's such a good guy... feel lucky to have him but then guilty too. Shock of the day was a call from my DS's dad whose reappeared and was eager to transfer some money for presents. First time we ever received anything from him... i'm hoping he keeps in contact, far more important than gettin money off of him! Hope everyone's doing fine and either reunited with their kids or seeing them off and able to enjoy some much earned relaxy-time! Everyone deserves a few days off to indulge in chocolate and wine/prosecco/champagne and play games. We're playing charades in a minute and the 5yr old is up first... going to be a loooong night i think! Happy Holidays everyone! 🎄✨🎄✨🎄🍾🎄✨🎄✨🎄✨🎄

@Heartbeats0708

Sorry some of you had a rough day today. I felt so relieved that it's all over this morning, it's almost like I can finally enjoy it so will leave the tree etc up til twelfth night. On the negative side, I've completely crashed health wise after all the intensity. Pacing went out of the window as I just had to get everything done. DC heading to dad's for a couple of days so some serious rest on the cards for me. It's all different re first dates isn't it? Me and Mr D intended to just have a drink or two in the summer sun and ended up working our way through a cocktail menu and stumbling for a taxi at 2am. I'd have been happy with a walking date, and we've done them since, but I do like a little Dutch courage to help the ol nerves!

@Heartbeats0708 ❤️😘 have ached a lot this holiday as well. 💝

Well Channel 5 have just made my evening and have Dirty Dancing on. Love a bit of Patrick Swayze and my feet are tapping, the cat is not liking being asleep on my lap though.

@isitreallyme1277 that'd my favourite film and I'm watching it aswell

@Dancerinthemoonlight it's one of the best soundtracks too. I love the "I carried a watermelon" comment as it's the sort of thing I'd say 🤦‍♀️🤣

Tomorrow's date zero has had to be postponed . Hopefully we'll be able to re-arrange and keep the chat going in the meantime.

@teesguy sorry to hear that. It's a funny ole time of year

@Isitreallyme1277 @Dancerinthemoonlight I was tempted but I'm watching the local premier league fixture instead. We're winning for once!

Looking forward to seeing MrDublin in a couple of days. MrBeau was in my hometown and we exchanged a few texts but he sounds in a really bad way so I sat on my hands and didn't suggest a meet. Have had some nice chats with MrPoet and MrA. I am still a bit sad / bemused about MrA. He was genuinely touched when I sent him a Christmas message and got quite emotional. Why he didn't step up and make more of an effort is beyond me. It's good to have got closure though in general because otherwise I wouldn't have met my potty mouthed sexy Dubliner 😁 who's more than a match for me 🥰

It's great to hear that everyone is back on track, Christmas day wasn't good at all for me, I really really struggled, tried to put a brave face on, been separated for 3 Christmases now but this was the first without seeing the DDs at all

Today has been good, they got dropped off this morning, we did presents, then we went out to meet friends for a lunchtime coffee and I did a Christmas Dinner at teatime.

Oh my goodness, that other thread is pretty vile isn't it?! A few sensible contributions as you say, Bella, but a lot of very grabby/judgemental people on there. Personally I think a walk (in a well populated area!) is a perfect date zero. Mr Fabulous I thought you argued it very well. If people object so vehemently to a walk then that's a great way of weeding out the ones you wouldn't match well with anyway!

I seem to have done quite well with my swiping and have got a couple of date zeros falling into place in the next couple of weeks when people are back from visiting family. One of them, we've been messaging quite a lot today and seem to have plenty of interests in common. Another is sexy and probably has an accent I rather like 😁

to those here who have found the last couple of days tough

@Naimee87 wow at your ex turning up wanting to give money!! How do you feel about that? Hope it hasnt confused your boy too much.

Think i might give the apps another go sometime in the new year. Not sure how long ill be able to stomach them though.

@BelladiMamma I dont get it about MrA either. Think he was just too wrapped up in himself and maybe still is? Im sure he’d be happy to drift along if you continued to make all the effort.

I’m just going to put it here as it helps me to get things out. I will never stop feeling sad and let down by my family even at this age. Got a mother that’s never ever bothered with me except for using me as a punchbag and a father who I love but his wife completely controls him so not got to see anything of him. Every Christmas is painful! I am so glad to be going to a friends today and leave the last 3 days behind. Really hope one year I’ll actually really enjoy a Christmas and be with a loved one but it will have to be someone I meet as ‘family’ just aren't here.
Sorry that was a bit mopey but it feels like shedding a skin today.
Sorry to everyone else thats been struggling. Today is a new day! 💗

@Shayelle2009 so sorry you feel like that and your family are being so crap. I've had some years like that too, especially when I was married to that horror and occasionally I'd run up a flag to say help and everyone would ignore it because it was too much hassle to engage.

If I ever ever become someone's stepmother I am going to make sure that the bloke keeps making their DC the absolute priority because I know how much it hurts 💜💜💜

Hey all, just checking in. Fallen behind with the threads again as life got hectic so have just scan read this thread.

Wanted to send a big hug to @Shayelle2009 - hope you enjoy your day with friends 😊

Well me and Mr Mason are still going strong but having gone away with him for the weekend and spent Christmas with him I was a little worried I was dating the cheater mr cricket but luckily mr Mason is not a pilot so I think I'm ok 😆

Our weekend away was fab and we are planning on doing more once bojo allows. My kids went off to their dads Christmas afternoon so I spent the rest of day with Mr m and he cooked me an amazing Xmas dinner and spoilt me rotten with gifts - some soppy ones too. The L word has already been exchanged and I am very happy with how things are going ☺

Got an intriguing date tomorrow night. Going out for dinner with lady who is originally from Colombia, lived in Majorca and is in UK visiting her son for Xmas.

@Slothmomma that sounds lovely 🥰... thank goodness he's not a cricket playing jet ✈️ pilot so you know he's no cheat!! (Sorry @Isitreallyme1277 ... I hope you've chucked MrCricket out with the decorations)

@TobyEsterhase could be fun for a fling or a long distance thing 😁

@Shayelle2009 now that me and MrA are just friends, he does talk a lot about his ex (even more than me!) and he's locked in a very unhealthy dynamic there, so I think that's got a lot to do with it. Plus she's 10 years younger so maybe he just prefers a younger woman?

Just gone back to check on that other thread and it's still going strong 🙈

Do you think the peeps on that thread come over here and sigh and tut over our naivety in dating life?

Hugs @Shayelle2009 enjoy your time with your friends, it's so good for the soul.
Excellent to hear from you @Slothmomma and it sounds like you've had a wonderful Christmas with Mr Mason, and the L word too 😍 so glad you've found someone lovely!
I feel so good telling Mr D I love him and hearing it too, it just feels so right. And I realise how important it is to wait until you really want to say it. I bit my tongue for a long time before saying it to Mr D and I was practically bursting by the time I blurted it out!

@TobyEsterhase
Go for it, I hear Majorca is lovely this time of year.

@BelladiMamma it’s like a car crash, you know you shouldn’t look, but can help yourself..
@Slothmomma @Heartbeats0708 wow the ‘L’ word, good to hear

‘L’ets put the kettle on

@StartingAgain6369

It's great to hear that everyone is back on track, Christmas day wasn't good at all for me, I really really struggled, tried to put a brave face on, been separated for 3 Christmases now but this was the first without seeing the DDs at all

Today has been good, they got dropped off this morning, we did presents, then we went out to meet friends for a lunchtime coffee and I did a Christmas Dinner at teatime.

Hey, sorry to hear that. It's tough when they're younger. I've found that on Christmas 2 after being officially over (3 if you count when we were over but ex wanted us to keep the status quo for a while), it gets easier, because they're older I think?

Of course the next thing to navigate will be them wanting to spend it with their partners and new in laws ... 🙈 ... we'll be back here on mumsnet talking about that I'm sure!

Hope things get better from here

[quote FabulousMrFifty]@TobyEsterhase
Go for it, I hear Majorca is lovely this time of year.

@BelladiMamma it’s like a car crash, you know you shouldn’t look, but can help yourself..
@Slothmomma @Heartbeats0708 wow the ‘L’ word, good to hear

‘L’ets put the kettle on[/quote]
Some incredible things people come out with ...

@TobyEsterhase

Got an intriguing date tomorrow night. Going out for dinner with lady who is originally from Colombia, lived in Majorca and is in UK visiting her son for Xmas.

I hope you have a great time tomorrow.

[quote Shayelle2009]@Naimee87 wow at your ex turning up wanting to give money!! How do you feel about that? Hope it hasnt confused your boy too much.

Think i might give the apps another go sometime in the new year. Not sure how long ill be able to stomach them though.

@BelladiMamma I dont get it about MrA either. Think he was just too wrapped up in himself and maybe still is? Im sure he’d be happy to drift along if you continued to make all the effort.

I’m just going to put it here as it helps me to get things out. I will never stop feeling sad and let down by my family even at this age. Got a mother that’s never ever bothered with me except for using me as a punchbag and a father who I love but his wife completely controls him so not got to see anything of him. Every Christmas is painful! I am so glad to be going to a friends today and leave the last 3 days behind. Really hope one year I’ll actually really enjoy a Christmas and be with a loved one but it will have to be someone I meet as ‘family’ just aren't here.
Sorry that was a bit mopey but it feels like shedding a skin today.
Sorry to everyone else thats been struggling. Today is a new day! 💗[/quote]
My mother is useless too. She went to my brother's (I don't get on with him, he's a massive twat) on 15th and I didn't hear from her til yesterday when she texted that she hoped I was "keeping warm" (?). Usually I hear every few days with something she needs me to help with.
Then she whines she's not seen me for ages, and in a pass-agg way says I can come and stay if I fancy it (with her, not bro).
Bearing in mind she knows I'm home alone all of Christmas and she's not sent a card or a gift, or anything. She told me she had got me a gift. And when I was at my sister's she had me running hither and thither because she sent all their gifts while I was there so I could "sort them out for her", gifts she gets credit for that I chose for her to buy.

Anyway, I say I'm thinking of coming for a week or so in Jan. She then says not after 11th (and not before 2nd as bro because s there then) brother's family, plus mil, are coming to stay but she doesn't know the dates as she hasn't got her diary. I say "can't you just ask bro, you are with him", then she goes on about how changeable the situation is blah blah.

So, by the time she tells me I'll have booked other stuff in and then she'll whine at me again.

Well my tree was the first tree at the tip today 🤣🙈. Obviously I'm the first scrooge out today! But it's so nice to have my space back. Got rid of all my DVDs (have nothing to play them on so no point in keeping them), got rid of loads of glasses and mugs too. I'm not sure why I'm getting sentimental over bloody glasses, it's not like they are my giant gin glass I took to the Isle of Wight festival!

I feel the cloud of Christmas lifting a little bit today but I'm still feeling a bit down. It's raining so I can't go out for a walk and I drove past the gym earlier and it's packed so not sure I can be bothered to go.

Going to do my housework to some dodgy 80s songs on Spotify, so hopefully a clean house will help lift my mood a bit more.