Someone on here once said they worked in divorce law and in their whole career, never saw a man initiate divorce unless he has an OW lined up
This would not surprise me at all
My ex STILL didn't initiate the divorce as ow was pressuring him to remarry (she was pregnant) and he didn't want to.
Eventually I learned that he'd been telling his "side" inc her that I was the one dragging their heels through the ow "pulling me up" on it!
The next time I saw her I handed her copies of all the letters that had been flying between the lawyers which showed it was very much him dragging his heels! Funnily enough things got moving after that 
But also he didn't leave I booted him out.
OW abd your dh could go back to being involved when danger/crisis etc is past. That happens.
Yea I've seen that happen
Ahh seen update - just because her marriage has broken up doesn't mean she wants your husband now. She may be very regretful, trying to reconcile with her husband, ashamed, embarrassed, never intended for your husband to be a permanent fixture!...
So he may still be backtracking simply as he's been rejected and feeling sorry for himself and facing a losers Xmas at his parents - possibly with them GLARING at him across the turkey for Fucking up his family!
This is based on ex telling me about his first Xmas after our split.
He wasn't welcome at her parents - that was made VERY clear, neither was she at his. His parents and siblings were barely civil to him pre drinks and once a few drinks had been had they were saying what they really thought! He was basically getting constant "wtf were you thinking?!" all Xmas day
He wasn't seeing dd at this point (as he'd fucked up on contact) but I did offer an Xmas day meet up which he rejected as he didn't wanna have to not drink in order to drive to us (Xmas day no public transport...and remember HE had the family car!)
Not saying my 1st Xmas after the split was great as I was skint! I'd hardly been able to get dd anything and then she was poorly on the day and still managed to mutter "is that all for me?" When there REALLY wasn't a lot there..many years later (dd now 20 she was a pre schooler by then) that memory STILL breaks my heart as I felt I'd let dd down hugely
BUT we've had many xmases since where it's just been the 2 of us (family of origin not great too) and developed our own traditions which are fondly remembered by us both.
And that 1st Xmas she remembers fondly too as I played with her all day with her presents, we had her favourite thing for dinner (pizza) and we went to the park (I got a bit didn't know what to do when she got a bit "cabin fever" and there was a nice park nearby) and as there was nobody else there except a few dog walkers it meant she could go on what she wanted as long as she wanted!
@Allsortsofroses love your post! Dumbass indeed! My mum was making me laugh the other day cos all "my"side of this relationship even when we were engaged and happy etc were already thinking "wtf is she thinking?" But not cos he was a bad guy just cos we were very young (I was 22 he was 23 almost 24), and frankly he was thick! Nothing really wrong with being thick but just meant we had little in common as I'm all about learning. I love reading (he's only read one book his whole life and that was cos he had to for gcse English), at that point he'd never seen a genuine piece of art in real life, never been to the theatre (he could barely sit through a 90 min movie!), never travelled outside the uk (actually I think he'd never been outside of England!) - you get the idea! With hindsight I think I was overwhelmed by hormones! (VERY fit and good looking! At that point) and as I've said upthread he did treat me very well until the affair. Quite a romantic (flowers for anniversaries, thoughtful gifts, kind and generous generally).
Anecdotally I find women leave when they feel unsafe or are being abused; men leave when a better offering appears!
I'd agree with that - in most cases
Also agree women as likely to cheat as men but ime they tend to be less likely to get caught.
I actually know/know of 3 women who not only had affairs but also left their husbands/partners AND their dc for the affair partner. Fairly rare for women to leave dc so it is weird I know 3! 1 there was serious drug addiction involved too so that's a factor.
I know/know of 17 families where at least one of the dc are not the biological child of the "dad" some know some don't (meaning dads and dc, some the dads know the dc don't etc)
Sorry op but I doubt it was only kissing! I'm even sceptical of so called "emotional affairs" unless discovered early on. It's very very rarely no sex involved
I have asked very plainly whether there was anything else
Also part of the script - denying unless there's proof they did more!
My ex denied even with the evidence of a pregnancy!