anyones who's dp/dh left them for ow and still with them years down the line?

[pinguthepenguin]

I've a couple of threads running about various aspects of splitting up and managing children etc.
Seem I may be indulging in a spot of self-torture here....but

Have any of you been left by your ex for another woman, and they are still with said woman years later, in love, more kids, all fluffy and happy?
I know things aren't always black and white....and sometimes you just fall in love with someone else...but generally speaking, do you think these things last? My ex wasn't a womaniser at all...quite the opposite in fact.

anyone?

pinguthepenguin my ex left me for OW we was together 7 years when i met him i was 14 and he was 19 he has not left me for a 17 year old, it has only been 4 weeks but i can really see them staying together!

I was told by my friends who work with her and xp that she might be pregnant (they was at it for months behind my back and i didn`t have a clue)

He also sits and tells me how happy he is (i found the text of her thats why he left because i found out)

I know it hasn`t been years alough it feels like it!!

I was the other woman.

His life and her life are much better now they aren't torturing each other. This was 7 years ago, we are now married and have a child and I am a step mum.

It is ok now between all of us but it was very painful for everyone and I still feel guilty, even though it was nothing to do with me.

"His life and her life are much better now they aren't torturing each other"
well if that makes you feel better or justifies your (and his) actions

eternalstudent how long was you the OW and also how do you know 100% they wasn`t happy together?

second macdoodle!

but she said it was nothing to do with her ?

i got with dh when he was still living at home nut they had seperated she was also seeing someone

we are married and have 2 dds

thankyou for the replies,, keep them coming.

Im not here to judge btw- affairs of the heart are rarely black and white- however painful it is to me atm

Actually I am going to stay off this thread can feel my blood boiling and is not good for me at 39+ weeks pregnant...
IMHO there is NO justification for having a relationship with a married man (especially with kids or pregnant wives involved)...NO matter what shite he tells you.....
AND I have been there in a relationship whith a man who I discovered had a long term girlfriend - he told me all the usual tales BUT I told him to go and sort it out/finish with her whatever and then come and find me.....
Am glad the OW here think they have happy lives how many trampled ones lie in the path of their happiness...and that is the root of it total and utter self absorption on part of the men and the OW
If it a true and lasting relationship then it will wait for the old relationship to be resolved properly

My ex of 9 years said he didn't want children so I left him. 3 months later he had his new girlfriend pg I found out she was the daughter of the landlord he had been staying with when he was working away anyway pretty sure it was going on before we split
Anyway they are still together nearly a decade later living in my old house with 2 kids - are they happy I don't know. But what I do know is that she has got fatter and fatter as the years have gone on and now resembles waynetta slob and I have it on good authority that they always look miserable when spotted in asda
I on the other hand met my lovely dh who is better than my old dp in everyway, we are married and have a lovey ds and another lo on the way.
When I split I didn't get out of my dressing gown for weeks can't believe I was so upset and when I found out she was pg I was very hurt and
What a waste of my time and energy I am so much happier now and if I had my time again I wouldn't even date him let alone shack up with him in the first place.
I don't know why you asked the question but I guess you are hurting. Believe me it will go and your life will be good again and probably better. Please don't waste your time or energy on him and her use it to find yourself and move on. You can be happy again but you have to be free from him to do so.
Final note as my dh keeps reminding me life is not Mills and Boons all relationships have ups and downs and theirs will too. Everything is so intense and new in the beginning it feels great but routine life does prevale and that is the real test of a relationship. You may find yourself feeling rather smug in the future but hopefully you will be so over him that you do not care. And hopefully if he asks to come back you will not let him.
good luck

I agree macdoodle that there are ways of doing things- and I appreciate you taking the time to rely to my thread. My ex behaved very badly in ending his relationship with me, and he still denies that this woman has had anything whatsoever to do with our demis- even though he freely admits they are now together (weeks later) and he is even spending xmas with them

That said though- I'm greatful to all the posters for giving me their perspective- because I'm trying to be realistic about the prosepect of their relationship actually being successful, however hurtful it is to me now.

lol waynetta slob image

dh here-

everyone has the right to be happy and if it means ending a relationship and starting a new one then you have the right to do that. ypou can be in a relationship and not really want to be there and try working t it. if you have kids they pick up on the parents arguing all the time and sometimes its best just to go, even if you come to meet someone when you're married. i wasnt looking for anyone but was unhappy and now i am happier than i have ever been. if i was still married myself and ex wife wouldnt be happy at all. she had also met someone else and was living with him before i had even moved in with dw

to be honest i wanted to ask the question aswell!

macdoodle i`m thinking like you to be honest, its still to raw for me!

All the men I know that have cheated have told lies to their mistress about their relationship and painted a worse picture about their wife than the truth and unfortunately most have turned out to repeat their past actions in their new relationship.
I actually don't feel angry with mistresses I feel sorry for them especially if they get their man because a man like that quite frankly is not worth having.
A person should be free when they start a relationship (men and women) everything else just causes too much pain and is especially cruel when children are involved.
A good friend cheated on his wife she thew him out he is now married to his then mistress but still loves his wife she hates him and his new wife hasn't a clue she thinks she got her man. The whole situation is very sad

santasmissyontheside what you did in my opinion wasnt wrong as they was seperated anyway and lived seperate lives, so getting a new partner wasnt wrong in that situation

feel sorry for me?

ooops sorry x post

she moved in so soon even had dss calling om dad. tore dh to peices to hear that. she broke up with 10 months ago now i think

Everyone certainly has the right to be happy- and as I said before, I certainly dont think affairs of the heart are a black and white issue- but I think Santa's DH, that too many peole- men and women alike, hide behind the 'it was best for the children' melarkey when really, they want an easy way out of the relationship. It's a crappy get-out clause, its a cheap disclaimer, and society seems to have swallowed it as a valid excuse from parents who leave, when really, some of them were just good old fashioned homewreckers.
I don't for a second presume that this is what you did- by your own admission you had already split, so fair play to you- but I don't buy into the idea that people can simply walk away from families that they have created, without trying, without feeling that they owe it to the family to persevere, and if they simply can't work it out- to do it decently, honorably, and above all, remembering that these women, (and these men) gave you these children, so for that in the very least, is reason enough to afford them a modicum of respect.

pinguthepenguin can i just ask you something, did your xp cheat on you then leave you for OW?

If so did he just walk away when you found out?

Sorry to ask, you dont have to answer it if you dont want to.

Hi moap

No, he had been behaving very inappropiately with her a few weeks before he ended it, calling/texting/meeting up. Nothing physical happened apparantly, but they pathed the way in every other aspect as far as I'm concerned. He is now with her, only week after we split, yet still insists she had nowt to do with it.

How niave can someone expect you to be?

Is she someone who you would have expected him to go for pingu?
My dp has had an 'inapropraite friendship' with the OW. He says nothing has happened, I am still not sure. We are working through it.
The OW is the last person I would have expected him to go for. Not his type at all which makes it so odd. He used to talk about her looks in a very negative way before this happened and he used to say she was snooty and never had a lot to say.

hey pingu well my ex also told me he it was only going on for a week and then told me he loved her and that he slept with her i said i would forgive him and take him back i even begged he looked me straight in the face and said no and walked out without looking back.

He was with her straight away.

Well on friday he told me that it was going on for a while even when i was trying for LO he even brought her back to our family home when i was staying at my dads with DD.

I know have to listen to how happy he is etc...

I like you have been totally reasonable with see DD but xp doesn`t really want to know, and like your xp he is trying to make me feel bad for what he has done to the family.

I can`t even think about what you must be feeling right now with a little baby to look after!

Luckly my DD is 3 and she is a little star, i think things will change when LO is born, i might take a few steps back who knows.

I just hope these men become very good dads