anyones who's dp/dh left them for ow and still with them years down the line?

[pinguthepenguin]

I've a couple of threads running about various aspects of splitting up and managing children etc.
Seem I may be indulging in a spot of self-torture here....but

Have any of you been left by your ex for another woman, and they are still with said woman years later, in love, more kids, all fluffy and happy?
I know things aren't always black and white....and sometimes you just fall in love with someone else...but generally speaking, do you think these things last? My ex wasn't a womaniser at all...quite the opposite in fact.

My friend bf dumped her last year out of the blue "he wasn't happy" "there was noone else" the same night he was spotted out with his new gf apparently they weren't together either! I suppose the reason they lie is to protect you from more hurt when really you need to know the truth.

layla17 my xp was the same used to call OW all the names under the sun and i hate to admit this but if i was her i wouldnt have gone for my xp LOL but at the end of the day she is only a 17 year old girl and doesnt have a clue!!

I wouldn`t have thought xp would have gone for someone like her, shes everything he hated in a girl, shows off to much off her body etc, he used to hate that when i ever showed anything off when we went out!!

He on the other hand is just a lieing cheating w@nker and right now i hate him so much for not putting DD first

well its been 4 weeks now and hes still telling everyone lies saying that there not together when they are havent got a clue why!!!

MOAP - I admire you. You seem to be coping really well. How old is your xp. If OW is only 17 is it really going to last. Would you take him back?
What about you Pingu?

MOAP - I admire you. You seem to be coping really well. How old is your xp. If OW is only 17 is it really going to last. Would you take him back?
What about you Pingu?

hes 26! I wouldnt take him back no, not after ive now found out everything he has done to me behind my back, i think he can see im coping well so he has found it in himself to open up about what he really did behind my back!

santas dh

maybe some do use it as a excuse but i certainly didnt. my dad committed suicide from being in a unhappy relationship and i believe strongly if he got out of the relationship sooner he would still be with me now.

i would have my son be with me full time in a milli second, i didn't leave him. i left a relationship. i love my son with all my heart just as i do my two daughters and treasure the moment that each of them came into the world.

i didn't simply walk away. despite me not loving and wanting to be with ex wife it hurt me a great deal to leave my boy

Layla- She is someone who he would go for actually- quietly spoken, pretty, educated etc. She is also loaded and I suspect he is rather flattered that she is interested in him. He is shamefully obesessed with material wealth.

I would be very dubious about inappropiate relationships from now on. He also said funny things about this woman. He allowed her to babysit our child, and I even had codffee with her, and the whole time she was interested in filling my place. It is unbelievable how shameful some women can be. I, by the way, was nursing a 7 week old baby at the time. Said educated, intelligent middle- class lady apparantly isnt at all bothered by this fact, or even that her new man has walked away from his newborn family. (???). He is obviously keen to prove to her though, that he left me and not that baby ( you know that old chesnut), as he has become very zealous about having the baby reguarly. I've also discovered that he is spending xmas with her and her child, and has been to her child's school nativity play.

MOAP- I've been following your threads- and it's so sad for you. I have to say though, I agree with most posters on your situation- this won't last, I'm sure of it, because he is going out with a CHILD, and that CHILD will tire of him.

Frosty- tbh, I don't think it was me he was trying to protect from the truth- he isn't that altruistic. No- it was his reputation as 'family man/good person/nice bloke that he was trying to protect. So far he seems to have pulled it off, because he has managed to convince everyone he wasn't seeing ow.

pingu i`m so glad he is trying to be a good dad

Well my xp OW works with him in the kitchen and often i`ve been down with xp and she has cooked and brough out our food, when she knew i was pregnant she went out of her way to make sure the eggs were well done!!

Oh god when i think about it it makes me sick it really does, he sat there eating with me and DD and all the time he was thinking about her! her probably only took me in there so he could see her as he always took the plates into the kitchen (you have to leave them on the table to be collected when you finish) i bet he done that to see her and make plans for there next meet up

Oh well i`m shot of the lieing cheating so n so!

I am shocked - a 7 week old baby! and MOAP 5 months pregnant.
do some men not realise that pregnancy, childbirth and the first few years of having children is hard and you have to work at your relationship and not walk away when it gets tough. It makes me so angry. How selfish - they are probably not getting enough attention because of the baby and look elsewhere for someone to make them feel important again.
I do not think that people should stay in unhappy relationships long term but I think some people are too quick to give up, look elsewhere (in either order) and think that that is acceptable behaviour. They should take the rough with the smooth.
My dp felt pushed out this year as we have a 2 yo and a 1 yo who has had health problems. He admitted that he has felt left out and that the fact that I have a successful career has left him feeling unwanted. The OW had suffered a bereavement in the summer and relied upon him to help her - it made him feel wanted and relied upon and special which he did not feel at home!!!
Sorry for the rant!

rant away i dont mind and im sure pingu wont

Well he was seeing her while trying with me for a baby

He says he thought this would make him happy to be honest i just think he wanted his cake and eat it.

I think she wanted me to find out else she wouldn`t have texted him when she knew i was with him!

To be honest i think he would have never had told me!

I`m so glad i found that text!

I am so at him for not wanting to try and sort it out, we had everything to fight for, but oh no he didn`t want to!

i cant understand how a man can walk out on a unborn/newborn

neither can i, but to be honest he was the best daddy in the world, but since he left he has changed so much, he hardly sees DD and when he does hes to busy texting or recieving calls of "her"

I feel like giving up sometimes, but i`m stronger then that

sorry pingu i feel like i`ve taken over your thread

lol

you're both so strong. i admire you

santa

He left me, not the baby.

that old chesnut...

hmmm. i think tosser in that situation.

you get pg (after trying?) and suddemly he's not happy?

sorry to swear but selfish wanker in that situation

layla

omg, deja vu. The ow in my relationship had also suffered a bereavement in the last year,(her dp) and she talked about it alot to my ex. He seemed flattered that she cose to confide in him, as he isnt traditionally the easiest person to get along with, so I guess she saw something in him that made her want to confide.

DD1's dad left us for the other woman 8 years ago when she was 5 months old; as far as I know they started the affair when DD was 2 or 3 months old, but could have been sooner.
They are still together, and got married this year, with DD as flower girl
I still think they are both cunts, but try to rise above my bitterness for DD's sake. I am mostly successful in this.
The experience really changed me as a person; I find it hard to trust people now.

actually, we didnt try- she wasn't planned, but after the initial shock, we were both v.happy. We are both professional, solvent, etc. He is in his mid 3o's ffs, not exactly a teenager, and this was his first child!

Makes me so fucking mad when I think about how ludicrous it all is.

Sorry

im lost for words

omg sazisi

How did you possibly stomach your dd being flower girl...its just too much. Were you married to him? Did he say why he had the affair?

i am so angry for you right now, how could he?

so am I santa, as is he apparantly- unless its to spit some vitriol at me. ( he hasnt done anything wrond apparantly, so I should just 'get over it')

MOAP

I think you are coping tremendously well. I have to say though- I would under no circumstances allow him to fill me in on the details of his sordid little goings on with the CHILD he is with. Tell him, calmly, that if he continues to fill your ears with this shit, he can't come into your house.

wtf?