Not sure what to do here. My (male) friend's wife is openly aggressive towards me, friend puts it down to her being 'naturally abrasive' and 'slightly deaf' but my DH says she's definitely rude to me. Other mutual friends say she is noticeably more rude to me than anyone else, but indicate that they're not keen on her either as she is generally quite unpleasant.
After 10 years of 'just trying a bit harder to get along' I now operate on a three strikes rule with her, three horrible comments in a row and I stop engaging in the conversation, physically walk away or less frequently, stand up for myself. She is one of those people who picks holes in whatever you say, so disengaging is the easiest option.
It has come to a head this week when she cornered me in the loos and told me to leave a public event we were attending as a (smaller) group, I was there by myself with a mutual friend and her DH. I did the goldfish thing and then left because of how aggressive she was, and I presume she then pretended she didn't know where I was, which led to a lot of drama. I had already said during the week I would do my own thing at said event but then bumped into the other three in the car park on the way in, and felt too awkward to walk away.
I feel like I can't just keep putting up with this to keep the peace and it's actually really upsetting for me to have to defend my right to hang out with friends I've known 30+ years. I also don't like exposing my DC to her behaviour, although DH and I try to use it as a teachable moment when she starts.
I am very close to calling it a day with my entire friendship group because of how awful she makes everything, but her DH is adamant it's in my head, and says they are a package deal so he can't come to group stuff by himself. WWYD?