From the other side of this equation - has he actually said that your DDs are not welcome to visit at all? Or has he said they’re not moving in, wholesale, grandkids and all?
Because my DP likes to make out I want to banish his DC from our future home, whereas what I’ve actually said is that I wouldn’t want other people (his kids OR mine!) there all the time, I’d prefer a bit of notice and I’d prefer it if people could also gather elsewhere sometimes. He thinks that’s cold and mean, but to me as an introvert, the idea of having all of our kids (5) plus partners and kids there every Sunday for lunch sounds like hell!
I too have hung on for 9 years, living separately with the promise of a life together at a later date, but when we talk of the future all he thinks about is how his kids fit into that, whereas to me, I imagine our DCs will all have their own lives and we will finally be able to concentrate on being a couple instead of being parents first and a couple second.
Just putting it out there, as he may just be unpleasant, but you know him after all these years and you know how rude your DDs have been to him too, so if you were him, taking yourself and your loyalty to your dc out of the equation, would you happily open your arms and your home to these young women? Or would it take a little bit of work to get to a point where you felt like you wanted to spend time with them in your own space? Nobody should be forced to spend time IN THEIR OWN HOME with people who are rude and unpleasant, no matter who they’re related to.