[quote 19Bears]@Kindtomyself Oh god, are we married to the same man??? I haven't read the whole thread, but have got an idea of what you're going through and the advice you're being given. Funnily enough, I'm sitting here at work with a piece of paper on which I'm writing a list of things dh has annoyed me with this weekend alone. I usually just let things go and get on with it, but I can't keep going on like this forever. I feel silly making a list, but he's oblivious to the fact he's anything less than the perfect husband and father, so I have got to the point where I'm going to have to prove to him why I have pretty much given up after years and years of being treated like a mum to him. Even more so than the kids!
This weekend he has -
left it to me to repair a massive gap in the conservatory roof where the panel had blown off in the storms. Me up on the step ladders trying to hammer some plastic sheeting across the gap to keep the sleet and snow out until someone can come and fix it. He was prepared to just leave it wide open. And then he has the cheek to pop his head round the door and say, "having fun?"
left washing on the kitchen floor. I decided this weekend not to wash any of his clothes and see if he would take the initiative. No. His gym gear from a week ago is still in four co-op bags in front of the washing machine.
continued to park the car too close to the hedge so the side of it gets scratched every time I try to reverse off the drive. He has not learned not to do this after several years. I got someone to cut the hedge (for which I paid out £200 of my own money) so that it was easier to get on and off the drive, only for him to park the car even closer.
gone in the shower this morning at the exact time I need to go in. I need to shower between getting my eldest out the door for school and getting the youngest up for school so we can be ready on time to be out for school and work. He works from home and has never got the kids up or made their packed lunches. Ever.
continued to not wash his hands properly, or brush his teeth more than once a week.
taken the last packet of crisps of the ones I take to work for my packed lunch. I can't get out of the office to go and get anything, whereas he is literally in the house with a full fridge and cupboards, filled by me who does the weekly shopping.
made his own (microwave) meals while I stand at the cooker making proper food. I make enough for two, and sometimes he will ask if there's some for him, but generally sorts himself out. I never have that option to ask if there is anything for me. He hasn't cooked for me once in 15 years.
I feel like I might explode, but I just don't. I keep the rage inside. I have got to let him know how much this is affecting me. No doubt though he will think he is the hero today as I have had to keep my youngest off school and he is there with him, so I will have to be grateful for that....
Added to all of this, no sex in 11 years, and having checked my medical records to see when I was last on the pill - 2006 - not much at all in 15 years......
The answer is the most blinding obvious thing since the discovery of obvious things. Why can't I do it then??????!!
OP, you have my sympathy x 
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I am not surprised there is no sex. I wouldn't sleep with a man who left jobs like fixing the conservatory roof in the snow to me. Still less with a man who only brushes his teeth once a week. What is wrong with him?