I got involved with a guy when I was not in a good place. He clearly had issues - controlling, manipulative, weird, but also obsessed with me. I FINALLY got rid of him this January, but he hasn’t left me alone since.
In the early months post breakup, he turned up at my house a couple of times, crying and begging, and called, messaged, emailed etc. Nothing abusive, just begging to speak to me. I blocked him on everything apart from emails. After a couple of months of this, I called the police and they were brilliant. They rang him and explained the legality of the situation and he stopped harassing me. For a while.
After a couple of months he started again, but worse. My dad and I compete in a sport, which is open to the public to attend (though in Covid you could only be there if you were a competitor). My ex has turned up to several of these events (don’t know how he got in) this year and accosted me, following me around asking to speak, staring at me all the time. I’ve ignored him. Most recently, at the last event he technically left me alone, but he spent the whole weekend lurking, staring. He would not take his eyes off me - he’d appear out of nowhere wherever I was. It was so creepy and of course very distracting. I ignored him completely, as I have done all year.
There is a very dark twist to this which I worry makes it impossible to get rid of him, and leaves me feeling quite desperate and conflicted. My dad, who is a complicated man, runs a small business. The entire time I was with my ex, he kept asking if he could recruit him to work for him. I kept saying no because I knew I would then never be able to break free from this man. The month before I ended it for good, my dad was in a desperate situation and couldn’t find anyone to do a 3 week job over Christmas. So I said yes. The 3 week job happened, ended, my ex went back to what he was doing before, and I broke up with him in the January.
The harassment happened, and shortly before I called the police, I found out through someone else that my dad had rehired my ex permanently, behind my back. He knew all about the stalking. He was even there with him when my ex got the call from the police. He made up an elaborate story to keep this from me - making up a fake name for my ex and even referring to him in conversations so I wouldn’t know who it was. 10 months on and they still work together. Closely together too - he drives all over the country with this man. I have begged, shouted, cried, at my dad to get him to sack my ex, but he just won’t. It’s ruined my relationship with my dad - I never want to call him because my ex might be there, and I cannot understand how he could be missing that very normal paternal instinct to protect his daughter.
So all these events that have happened this year, my ex has been able to turn up and chat to/hang out with my dad. The one last weekend, my dad been BROUGHT HIM to the event, in his car! Then acted all surprised when I was annoyed that he had effectively delivered my stalker to me. I even spoke to my dad and said that my ex was staring at me and intimidating me, and his response was to laugh and say ‘oh well’.
I know I can call the police again, but firstly blocking him on everything won’t stop him from turning up at these events, and secondly, my dad playing the role that he is makes it very difficult to deal with. It’s hard to explain to anyone, including the police, that my dad is at the heart of the problem.
Does anyone have any advice or knowledge of the law that could help me? Thanks so much in advance.