Dating Thread 218: The one where we're respectfully selfish

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@StartingAgain6369 thanks, we have a very similar height gap! I’m about 5”1.

It’s intense being on your own with two kids isn’t it? I have mine half the week so go from full on running about after them to sudden quietness. Enjoy your breakfast!

Thank you @InABetterPlaceNow and @BelladiMamma, wishing you lovely weekends

@StartingAgain6369 isn't it interesting, when I sit and people watch it's those types of couples that I'm envious of because even though they're stressed they have each other.

@Stayingstrongish @Isitreallyme177 I do alternative full weeks, swap over day/time is a Sunday teatime, I must say the Sunday night on the week they go back to mums the house is a bit too quiet, then with 2 teenage girls I open the bedroom doors and see a scene of towels, inside out clothes, cups plates etc and think I've got a week to sort it all out!

It is funny watching people, cafes and coffee shops you see all sorts, I must admit I am a little bit envious of them being in a couple but this couple sat opposite me I can tell the lady looks very tired and harassed, the H is very snappy and bossy

@StartingAgain6369 saying that I must have been one of those couples, I suppose you never know what goes on out of public view.

Being in a good, strong, equal couple is the best thing in the world. Unfortunately many couples are not like that, they are tethered together at best and destroying each other at worst. And the ones who manage to look happy in Morrisons just make me wonder what on Earth they’re on!

[quote Isitreallyme177]@StartingAgain6369 saying that I must have been one of those couples, I suppose you never know what goes on out of public view.[/quote]
@Isitreallyme177

So true.

Hope Dad gets the washing machine sorted for you, keep him supplied with tea and cake

@StartingAgain6369 he has gone off with the drain pump and filter to find out what is blocking it as we've taken it apart and there doesn't seem to be anything. I'm just trying to work out whether to take my washing over to theirs and do 3 loads again or to the laundrette and do it all in one go in a big machine. The first option is free, the second option is quicker.🤣

@Isitreallyme177
It seems to be the week of washing machines, my mums machine died on Monday, extreme grating noise and a very loose drum, she got a little man out and the bearing had gone

That’s the weekend sorted

MrHedgehog is back tomorrow night

And tbh I'm completely fed-up with the whole "jetsetting dating" situation - thinking of just breaking from him as I don't want this whole "is he in town isn't he" dynamic?

Glad for all the good dates yesterday, sounds lovely and well-deserved.

@SpringlikeBunk MrHedgehog does seem to be away a lot! How often does he have to go away for work?

@Stayingstrongish

After our first meet he was away for a week. Then we met for dates two and three.

Then I had site work for a week then I went away myself for two weeks.

Then he was away and also a stopover in Germany as that’s where he’s from so it’s been two weeks for him

I just really don’t want another drawn out long distance dating situation this year.

@SpringlikeBunk I totally get that. Tbh I'm half thinking if MrBeau cancels I'll just take the day for myself and then won't need to worry about irons for a while. They're all multi location people this latest lot, and in fact I think that's partly why they are single. That plus Covid. I'm kind of multi location in that, when DD is ok seeing her Dad I like to just take myself off somewhere and get the dogs looked after and just have some grown up solo or social time.

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@Stayingstrongish

After our first meet he was away for a week. Then we met for dates two and three.

Then I had site work for a week then I went away myself for two weeks.

Then he was away and also a stopover in Germany as that’s where he’s from so it’s been two weeks for him

I just really don’t want another drawn out long distance dating situation this year.[/quote]
Maybe keep the Igel warm and then have a few date zeros in the new year when you're feeling more open to dating again? He probably wouldn't notice or mind if you were multi dating before / if it turned serious?

I think also with “long-distance things” my opinion is “no one is forcing them so if someone they’re dating writes them a Dear John letter it’s fine”

when I dated military/offshore guys sure it’s hard work

but also they do really enjoy it and get their fair share of jollies/extended days out when away?

(I was at conference myself before I met MrHedgehog and hated it - more of a homebody for sure!)

[quote StartingAgain6369]@Isitreallyme177
It seems to be the week of washing machines, my mums machine died on Monday, extreme grating noise and a very loose drum, she got a little man out and the bearing had gone[/quote]
@StartingAgain6369 well it isn't the filter and Hoover are no help. Any error code in the 20s they say call an engineer. Think it definitely is the time. Has your mum got hers fixed yet?

@SpringlikeBunk

I think also with “long-distance things” my opinion is “no one is forcing them so if someone they’re dating writes them a Dear John letter it’s fine”

when I dated military/offshore guys sure it’s hard work

but also they do really enjoy it and get their fair share of jollies/extended days out when away?

(I was at conference myself before I met MrHedgehog and hated it - more of a homebody for sure!)

Yup, that's kind of their lookout whilst you're in the early stages.

@BelladiMamma

I kind of feel like the main character in the Albert Camus story 'The Adulterous Woman' - there's a kind of listlessness and ennui and frustration, and I want some action?

So even though I'm not back on the apps and no other plausible irons and not drunk texting ex's I'm emotionally checked out and a bit "meh" with MrHedgehog.

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@BelladiMamma

I kind of feel like the main character in the Albert Camus story 'The Adulterous Woman' - there's a kind of listlessness and ennui and frustration, and I want some action?

So even though I'm not back on the apps and no other plausible irons and not drunk texting ex's I'm emotionally checked out and a bit "meh" with MrHedgehog.[/quote]
I'm going to read that - what an oversight that I've not read it yet!

But yes I get the ennui. Post viral and time of year? Like yesterday I was super excited by MrBeau now I'm like if it happens it happens, if not 🤷🏻‍♀️

@BelladiMamma

MrHedgehog has just sent a photo of his niece being cute

and emotionally I'm the panda at 0.17 of this clip.

@Isitreallyme177

Mum has had a new one, found a local company same price as AO came out and fitted next day. The old was nearly 15 years old, she found all the paperwork whilst I was taking a look at it, she paid £299 in 2007 the new one was £329 both Bosch

@StartingAgain6369 Mine's less than 2 years old seems I bought a dud.😫

@SpringlikeBunk have you made any plans to meet up? I reckon if you saw each other again you’d be feeling him a bit more.

Absolutely arctic outside but had a nice day battling through the Christmassy crowds and Albion supporters in Brighton.