Dating Thread 218: The one where we're respectfully selfish

[WeWantTheFinestWines]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Weekend roll-call!

All quiet as a mouse here with romance - thinking I’ll give it till the new year to see if Hedgehog situation is a “fizzler outer” then get back on the apps. The years gone by so quickly!

Not really much point trying to play detective and try to work out what’s happening with international travel right now or I’ll drive myself mad!

Diary has quite a few nice looking Xmas meets in it

(first time in years I’m actually going to work Xmas parties which will have people I like and have things in common with - I used to be a bit jealous of my irons with their cool jobs but now I’ve leapfrogged them )

Trying to get my dry skin and health level back into some sort of order after The Cold and lots of carby comfort eating so self care weekend.

(I’m actually wondering from the posts by Belladi and Heartbeat if it was covid but the tests weren’t picking it up? 😬)

Weekend roll-call

In Covid not Covid isolation til Monday, when my first mini date with MrBeau starts from 11.30am with a pooch walk.

MrA has sent me some really grumpy messages in response to mine; I think he's had enough of his stint in the smoke and now he knows he doesn't need to be charming to me he's having a bit of a rant about life instead 🤣

BeardFlake has totally disappeared.

MrPT keeping in touch and flirting but not a a lot happening.

Other irons including MrPoet and MrLumberjack are firmly on the back burner.

It's MrBeau or bust!

Yes that’s me, colour and art is good, general crap and “stuff”, is out, I guess I’m just not very sentimental,
Those awful household Places like The Range & Dunelm are my idea of Dante’s Inferno, full of junk tat and rubbish all the contents should piled up and burnt like some kind of Whicker Man (minus the human sacrifice bit).

@FabulousMrFifty

Yes that’s me, colour and art is good, general crap and “stuff”, is out, I guess I’m just not very sentimental, Those awful household Places like The Range & Dunelm are my idea of Dante’s Inferno, full of junk tat and rubbish all the contents should piled up and burnt like some kind of Whicker Man (minus the human sacrifice bit).

I'm with you; mindless consumerism!!

I've kept things fairly minimal from downsizing from two large houses into this one & let my exh have most of the gadgets. It's only more stuff to maintain / buy accessories for.

I like minimalism and basically work first now, but ultimately a home that’s very restful/easy/simple for my mental health.

Things like good lights and minimum stuff and nice carpets and plants.

Set out so it’s low/zero maintenance. I don’t even want a bath - just a fancy big shower as it’s easier to clean!

I’d rather budget for not worrying about money/going for a week abroad without thinking than a “fancy home”.

Jealous of the threadie (think it’s @Shayelle2009 ?) who has a gym set up in one room that’s also an eventual goal.

I think this feeds into the discussion about living together as well - I know I’m fairly set in my ways about how I want to live/budget/layout/how much time and effort I want to spend on DIY etc?

And most men will have equally strong views.

When we met for a coffee before I left, my ex-iron MrC was telling me about financial plans for a largish house/garden...the guy is a workaholic? 🤔

And is 100% away from home for long stints.

So “someone” would have to allocate quite a lot of time and energy to have the mental load of organising this “lovely rambling old country house” he’s wanting....

The weekend is here. I'm at home, alone, in bed. I plan to have no date this weekend. I just don't feel up to it. In fact aside from nipping to the shops tomorrow morning I don't plan on leaving the house til Monday. I'm going to study, run, workout and read and just enjoy being on my Todd.

@Dazedandconfused10

That sounds a great plan - Weathers horrible right now here, so I also don’t fancy or have the energy to go out and invest time in “speculative” meets which may or may not work out well.

My Dad is coming over to help me sort my washing machine out tomorrow, then a gym session (think it's a pull day, back and biceps), then I'll play with my new galaxy watch 😍. Sunday is circuits and housework. I really know how to live the rock n roll lifestyle.

Date update: just got in, really lovely guy, a real connection. Dinner followed by him driving us round London and kissing an awful lot. We've both decided to see where this all goes. I feel he's good for me.

@Eesha

Date update: just got in, really lovely guy, a real connection. Dinner followed by him driving us round London and kissing an awful lot. We've both decided to see where this all goes. I feel he's good for me.

Woohoo! Rooting for you ♥️

Ooh @Eesha a long date with a good connection, what a great start have you made plans to see each other again? I’m happy for you that it went so well

@Eesha that’s fantastic news! Glad it went so well. You need to give him a nickname for us

Great update @Eesha! That’s either a lot of driving around London, or a LOT of kissing - judging by the time you got in 😝

@Eesha

Date update: just got in, really lovely guy, a real connection. Dinner followed by him driving us round London and kissing an awful lot. We've both decided to see where this all goes. I feel he's good for me.

Great stuff, home at 3am, great 👍🏼

@Eesha yay! How lovely! Your good feeling about him was clearly correct. So glad it went well.
@Isitreallyme177 @FabulousMrFifty I bet your homes look great, I love calm and orderly too. MrTeacher's house just feels extremely different to mine in every way which makes sense given that we are very very different personalities.
@BelladiMamma 3rd time lucky with the sexy actors? MrBeau sounds hot!
@Dazedandconfused10 enjoy your solo weekend, sometimes that's exactly what the doctor ordered.
@SpringlikeBunk having fun Xmas things in the diary definitely beats app scrolling. I think fitting in new dates in December would be tricky for lots of us.

Lying in bed feeling very sorry for myself. Prosecco last night on an empty stomach. I will never learn 🤢

Hey all, I'm a bit shattered but have a busy day ahead so need to be up soon so just thought I'd give a bit more info. He's an interesting guy, very much with his shit together but a bit nervous after 7 years out of the dating game. Easy chat, sitting close, went for a walk but was bitterly cold. Went for a long drive but easily 3hrs kissing then home. We definitely suit each other and agree there's something there. We won't be swiping till we see how things go with each other.

@Eesha so happy you had a good date and like him!! Good luck with it you deserve it 💗💗

@Eesha this is great news. Just what you need - a connection and a nice evening and 'knowing where you are' from the off. Plus a 'just home' update for the insomniacs 😁

@MizK thanks 😊 there are plenty of reasons why this one could go wrong too, but just enjoying it for now!

@Eesha I’m chuffed to bits at your updates! Your date sounds just wonderful 🥰.

@SpringlikeBunk re Covid. I think that's possible. I've either had The Cold that everyone's been talking about, but my asthma was really bad for about 3 days, and that's a classic Covid symptom. Plus I have a cough. It all depends I guess on how efficient each test is on picking up all the new variants?

As for your dating situation I quite understand why you're not swiping at the moment. If it didn't happen to suit me and MrBeau wasn't such catnip for me, I'm not sure I'd be bothering. I mean it's effing freezing for a start and recovering from an illness / getting glammed up / meeting someone in the evening out somewhere surrounded by lots of germ carriers other people doesn't appeal.

A dog walk followed by a pub lunch on a quiet Monday is right up my alley at the moment.

Plus, I have BeardFlake and MrA and MrPoet for sexting if I ever get really desperate 😊

@Eesha three hours kissing! Yay!

I had a lovely date with Mr Beard last night, I cooked for him and then we went to a gig together before he stayed over. He has work today then is coming back in the evening for a meal out and a film. He’s about a foot taller than me - almost too much tall as I kind of have to shout up at him when we’re walking! - but so good to cuddle up to.

@Stayingstrongish awwww another lovely update 🥰

@Eesha Sounds like a great night and well done for getting up so early, hope your Saturday goes well

@Stayingstrongish
Height doesn't matter! Ms YM1 is just over 5ft and I'm 6-2, she did have concerns in the early days of dating and the wedge heels came out, now its flats

Hope every one survived last night's gales and hasn't got any property damage, the snow has stopped with me now. Currently sat in Morrisons having a full english breakfast waiting for DD2 to finish Netball at school, she's indoors playing.

People watching from my table there's a lot stressed couples with kids and I'm thinking I don't miss it one bit but being a single dad with 2 DD that can be a challenge too, is there ever a good balance?

Such lovely updates! I'm glad the dates went well @Eesha and @Stayingstrongish! I'm looking forward to seeing how things pan out with both!

I hope everyone has the loveliest of weekends!