[quote Eesha]@InABetterPlaceNow video calls are always a good thing I feel now. Were you chatting that late though? I'd have been looking like Droopy Dog at that point. Childcare is a toughie but most are in the same boat I feel so any decent bloke will just make a call on whether that works or not. Child free people are busy too don't forget.
@Shayelle2009 hey, how are you? Yes, I'll be posting here if its a terrible disaster (or not). I am finding myself looking for red flags (like scary ones) but I keep reminding myself that we aren't getting married, just having a first date to suss out whether we even like each other. He seems to be very respectful so far though and puts my mind at ease with regular communication which is what I wanted.[/quote]
Haha yup! Totally out of the ordinary for me, I’m usually in bed by 10:30! But today was my non working day, and I’d happened to be on a few video / voice calls with old friends (which again I usually shy away from) so was feeling unusually confident. He was doing one of his online hobbies so asked me to wait till after then time just flew by!
I’m so, so glad I did. I think whole disclosure thing got to me so much as it was over text, with someone I haven’t met F2F enough to know “how” he was saying it. So I was automatically filling in the gaps with my exes voice in parts.
I apologised for the “jealous” comment and that he was free to keep seeing others. He said the comment was quite endearing and also comforting as it indicated I was as keen as he is. And that the him saying “no” to the other interested party was not meant to be to put any pressure on, just that he’s the same as me in that he’d rather focus on one person at a time, then reassess if it doesn’t work out.
Honestly, he seems like a proper grown up. We laughed and teased over the more difficult questions and most importantly he listened to my concerns and appreciated my perspective. He said it would take a while for me to feel like I could trust him but he’s happy to prove to me I can.
I’m so used to love bombing / being told “what I want to hear” and ignoring whopping red flags that this all feels like a refreshing change. Honestly it’s restoring my faith a bit that there really are adult men out there.
Main takeaway for me is to not cover anything “heavy” over text at this stage. It made SUCH a difference to see his face (partly because I like it so much!) and his tone which is really soothing and reassuring. Plus to feel confident that I can challenge him - and be listened to!!
Might not last but right now, bring on Saturday and next meet!!!